Limit of Endurance
by hheath541
Summary: Post S2 finale. Six months after the shooting, their lives were barely recognizable. Dark themes, PLEASE read the warnings inside.
1. Chapter 1

**I usually hate risking giving away details at the beginning of a story, but this story will contain some very dark themes, which may be triggering for some readers. If reading about mental and physical abuse and rape are difficult or triggering, then please do not continue. **

**There will be no gratuitous, or graphic, violence. I'm not into writing it any more than you are into reading about it. I will be including only enough mention/description as required to satisfy the plot. **

**I strongly caution against trying to read this story in one sitting, for those who only read completed stories. It was a very emotionally draining story to write, and I can't see it being any easier to read.**

**This is a work of fiction. I own no part of Rizzoli and Isles, and have no expectations that season three will in any resemble this story. In fact, I hope it doesn't.**

**Thanks and credit go to Honorcpt for acting as beta, soundingboard, and consultant. Thanks also go to a wonderful Twitter follower (I didn't ask for permission to name them, but they know who they are) who answered a request for legal clarification, and ended up spending hours helping me figure out details and listening while I talked out ideas and turned an idea for a scene into a story premise. Without them, this story probably would have never been posted.**

* * *

After the shooting in the burned out warehouse, Jane and Maura's friendship fell apart. Doyle survived, but remained in a comatose state. Having suffered two heart attacks during surgery, the doctors were doubtful that he would fully recover. Even if he came out of the coma, the extent of the damage from the gunshots and both heart attacks meant that he would probably be bedridden for the rest of his life.

Maura visited him everyday and got updates from his doctors. She ignored Jane when she saw her doing the same thing. She'd sit with him, tell him of Constance's progress, and explain what his doctors told her about his condition. She never touched him, and rarely stayed more than a few minutes.

As soon as his doctors deemed him stable enough to move, he was transferred to a secure medical wing in a maximum security prison. Maura's visits stopped.

* * *

Jane stopped by the hospital everyday during her lunch. She never went in Doyle's room. She'd get a status update from his doctors, bring coffee to the uniforms stationed at his door, and ask who had been to see him that day. Most days, she saw Maura, usually either coming or going from her own daily visit.

When Doyle was transferred, Jane started calling each day to see if there was any progress.

* * *

Maura refused to speak to Jane. At crime scenes she directed all information to either Frost or Korsak. After Jane's first attempt to view an autopsy, where Maura completely ignored her presence, Korsak started making all trips to the morgue and lab. Reports were either picked up by Korsak, or sent up in the interoffice mail.

For the first week, Jane called Maura everyday. Each time, it went to voicemail and she left a message apologizing and explaining herself. After that, she started calling once a week, and emailing everyday. Her calls went unanswered, and her emails were returned, marked as addressed to an invalid address.

Almost two weeks after the shooting, a courier delivered a box to Jane's apartment. It contained the clothing, various hygiene supplies, random belongings Jane had left at Maura's house, and everything Maura had bought to keep at her house for Jo.

Jane stopped calling and emailing.

* * *

Two months after the shooting, Maura made the decision to start a rotation. Every other week, for a week at a time, she would work in a different medical examiner's office. During that week, she'd evaluate the work of the resident medical examiner and their staff and make suggestion for improvements. Those she saw as promising for advancement were given the chance to spend a week working out of the Boston office.

She almost entirely stopped going to crime scenes. Even though she still performed autopsies, she tried to limit her duties to administrative work, as much as possible. Each passing week saw less and less contact with the detectives.

* * *

Angela moved out of Maura's guest house, not able to handle the strain living there put on her relationship with both women. She was able to find a small efficiency apartment in a relatively safe neighborhood. Taking more hours at the diner and finding an evening job at a coffee shop, she was able to afford rent and living expenses.

Sunday dinners were moved to Jane's apartment, since she was the only one with enough room. With Angela working two jobs, they were lucky to be able to have one dinner a month.

Each missed week brought Frankie and Tommy to Jane. Tommy blamed Jane for shooting Doyle and essentially breaking their family even further apart. Frankie pressed her to apologize to Maura, not believing she had already tried, just to have her efforts ignored.

* * *

Frost and Korsak avoided all mention of Maura where Jane could hear. They'd refer to the 'morgue.' Discussion of an autopsy tended to stop suddenly while they looked at Jane in pity and tried their best to find a way to relay the results without mentioning who they got them from.

When Maura started her rotation, it got worse. Mention of whichever doctor was taking Maura's place that week made Jane wince in pain, and sometimes storm off in anger.

They finally settled into a routine of relaying the results with no mention of how or where they got them. Not even the morgue was mentioned, anymore.

* * *

Jane fell into a pattern of working long hours, spending only the minimum amount of time with friends and family outside of work that she could get away with, and joking and laughing less and less as time went on.

Korsak and Frost weren't sure how to help, and were wary of pushing too hard or too fast. Angela was too busy working two jobs to realize just how far Jane had withdrawn. Frankie and Tommy still blamed her and thought it was her responsibility to fix things with Maura.

The further Jane withdrew into herself and work, the less everyone tried to keep her involved. Eventually, it was just assumed that she would turn down any invitations to get a drink at the Dirty Robber or watch a game together. The only time she spent with anyone outside of work, were the more and more infrequent family dinners.

* * *

No one really saw Maura, or knew how she was doing. Her weeks on rotation were spent living in hotels across the state. When she was in Boston, she stayed in her office as much as possible. For the first time in years, her office door was always kept closed.

She never ate in the diner or stopped by the squad room, anymore. The only time anyone saw her was on the rare occasions she relayed autopsy or lab results, or passing briefly in the hallway or elevator.

During work, she was always professional and as direct and literal as always. The biggest difference was the lack of tangential conversation. She would explain the results exactly, never volunteered any other information, and only corrected them when it was directly related to the case.

The few times they saw her outside of work, usually only passing as they came or went from the building, she was polite, almost to the point of being dismissive and formal. She never asked how they were doing and answered any questions as briefly and vaguely as possible.

The uniforms started calling her 'The Queen of the Dead,' again, and there was no one to stop them. Even Korsak and Frost started using the moniker. There just didn't seem to be anything left of the woman they'd known as their friend. She'd reverted to the distant, exactingly professional, and formal medical examiner she'd been when she first started working there.

* * *

Six months after the shooting, their lives were barely recognizable. Friendships were strained almost to the point of breaking, or already broken. The Rizzoli family barely talked to each other. Jane barely talked to anyone. Angela no longer had the time, or energy, to check up on her children. Frost worked more closely with Korsak than either of them did with Jane. Maura was nowhere to be seen


	2. Chapter 2

When Jane heard a knock, it took her a moment to realize it was at her door. No one had visited in weeks. It'd been months since anyone even visited without calling first.

Expecting to see Frankie or Tommy, or even her mother, she was shocked to find Gabriel Dean on the other side. He grinned when she stood there and just stared in silence. "Well, aren't you going to let me in?"

Shaking her head, she backed up as she opened the door wider. Waving him in, Jane studied him closer. He was dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt. His left arm was in a sling and he held himself almost stiffly. "Why are you here? I mean, why are you in Boston?"

Leaning against the back of her couch, he kept grinning. "I live here, now. My shoulder's ruined, and I can't work, so I decided to move to Boston. I was hoping we could give a relationship a real try."

Slumping against the counter, Jane gaped for a moment. "You moved to Boston. For me. Even if you can't be a field agent, couldn't you still have a desk job? You shouldn't give up your career for me."

Giving a half-shrug, he moved to join her, leaning against the counter by her side. "I could, but I don't want to. They'll probably call me from time to time to consult on cases, but I don't want to spend all my time behind a desk. Since I was disabled on the job, the Bureau gave me a compensation. That, along with my savings and any consulting work I do, will be enough for awhile. Maybe I'll be able to get a job working with a security company, or something. Right now, I want to see if we have a chance to really work out."

Letting herself lean against him, Jane sighed. "Then I guess we'll have to give it a try. Where are you living? Do you have an apartment?"

Grabbing her hand, Dean led her to the couch and pulled her down to sit. "Yes. It's nothing big or fancy. Just a small apartment. It's really not much more than a living room, kitchen, and bedroom. It's enough, for now. So, tell me how you've been."

Sighing and closing her eyes, she relaxed against him when he wrapped his good arm around her shoulders. "There's really not much to tell. I've been working."

Rolling his eyes, he pulled her closer. "Come on, I'm sure you have more to tell me than that. We haven't seen each other in more than six months. How's Maura? How are your family? What about Frost and Korsak?"

Tensing, Jane squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. "Maura and I haven't spoken since the shooting. Ma moved out of her guest house and is working two jobs to pay rent on her crappy apartment. Frankie and Tommy blame me. I don't really know how Frost and Korsak are. They seem fine, at work, but we don't really talk, anymore."

Pulling away, Dean turned to face her, giving her a sympathetic look. "I'm really sorry. Maybe if I'd killed him, things would be different. Why do your brothers blame you? If Maura kicked your mother out of her guest house, it's hardly your fault. Did they expect you to let a career hitman just walk away?"

Clenching her jaw, she shook her head. "Can we not talk about this? I don't want to talk about her. How have you been?"

He nodded, leaning back against the couch. "I've been better, but I'm ok. Spent most of the last six months in physical therapy. The bullet shattered my shoulder, and the bone shards shredded the muscle. Even with a replacement joint, I'll never have the muscle control to use that arm. My hand still works, so at least I still have that. Because of all the damage, I don't really have any control over that shoulder or elbow. There just isn't enough muscle left. Hence, the sling. As long as I have something to support my elbow, I can still do pretty much anything I want."

Grimacing, she turned to study his arm. "Jeeze, I got off lucky when I shot myself. At least I didn't hit any bone. Ok, we need a less depressing topic. Do you need to unpack, or are you able to stay? I have the weekend off."

Smiling, he leaned in, stopping with their lips an inch apart. "Good. If you don't mind, I'd like to spend that time getting reacquainted. It's been six months, and I've missed you."

Closing the distance, Jane let herself enjoy someone's company for the first time in months. When he stood and started leading her toward her bedroom, she helped him remove their clothing. Focusing on the feelings he caused, she pushed the realization of just how lonely she'd been, aside.

* * *

When Jane walked into work on Monday, Korsak and Frost were shocked to see her smiling for the first time in months. Sharing a look, they decided not to mention it, unless she brought it up, first. Noticing their looks, she rolled her eyes. "I'm in a good mood. Is that a crime?"

Looking a little frightened, Frost shook his head. "No. It's just, we haven't seen you smile in a long time. It's good."

Grinning, she started getting everything ready to work. "Since you're too afraid to ask, I'll tell you. Dean, sorry, Gabriel, came by this weekend. He decided to move to Boston to see if things will work out between us."

Smiling, Korsak watched her. "We're happy for you. If he makes you smile, then it has to be a good thing. How's he doing, anyway?"

Losing some of her smile, Jane a took a deep breath, sighing loudly. "His shoulder is ruined, and he can't really use the arm. He has to wear it in a sling to keep it from just hanging there. Other than that, he's good. He seems to be handling it well."

Frost grimaced in sympathy. "That sucks. I knew it was bad, but I didn't think it was that bad. Maybe it was fate, or something, so he could move here."

She shrugged thoughtfully. "Maybe. He did move here for me. That has to be worth something, right?"

Nodding, Korsak handed her a file. "Yeah, it means he thinks you're worth it. I'm really happy for you. You deserve something good. That's the financials on our guy. You get the honors of going over them."

Groaning quietly, Jane's glare was ruined by the grin she still wore.

* * *

The next few weeks saw Jane smiling more. She even agreed to an evening at the Robber, bringing Dean along. Korsak and Frost thanked him for making her happy while Jane used the restroom. Turning down a beer, she explained that Dean couldn't drive with only one arm and he wasn't comfortable with her driving after having any alcohol.

When she fell into the old habit of calling him 'Dean,' instead of 'Gabriel,' he gave her a small glare and squeezed her hand under the table. Apologizing, she gave him a quick kiss. It didn't happen again.

The guys enjoyed cheering the game. Jane seemed to just enjoy spending time out with everyone. After it ended, they said their goodbyes and left.

Once they were in the car, Dean turned to her and glared. Cringing, Jane reached out to grab his right hand, wincing when he held it tightly. "I'm sorry, Gabriel. I didn't mean to forget. It was just habit. Do you forgive me?"

Giving her hand another squeeze, he placed it on his thigh and patted it gently. "Yeah, you're forgiven. I just don't like it when you forget. Don't you think it's only right that you call me by my first name when we're dating? What do you think people think when they hear you call me Dean? They probably think we're coworkers or just friends. That's not fair to me, now is it?"

Squeezing his thigh, she leaned over to kiss him before letting go to start the car. "No, it's not. I'm sorry. What do you say I make it up to you, at home?"

He nodded and smiled at her. "That sounds like a good idea, Baby."

Hiding a grimace at the endearment, she smiled back.

* * *

When they were finally able to manage a family dinner, more than a month after Gabriel's arrival, he insisted on being there so he could meet Angela and Tommy. Angela was overjoyed that Jane was in a relationship, and gushed when she heard he'd been an FBI agent. Frankie and Tommy were less pleased, but kept quiet.

After everyone left, Gabriel sat on the couch and watched Jane clean up. At one point he called for a beer, which she brought to him with a smile. Finishing up, she grabbed her own beer and joined him. When she went to take a drink, he yanked it out of her hand and slammed it down on the table. "What do you think you're doing?"

Staring at him in shock, she started to reach for it, before pulling her hand back and clasping them in her lap. "I thought I was having a beer. It's been a long day, and I wanted to relax with my boyfriend."

Glaring, he stood up, grabbed her beer, and went in the kitchen to pour it down the sink. "And who was supposed to drive, if you were drinking? Do you really think I want you driving me anywhere if you're drunk?"

Following him, she flung the refrigerator open, yanked another beer out, and slammed the door. Opening it quickly, she glared while she downed half the bottle. "I'm not getting DRUNK. I wanted to have ONE beer with my boyfriend at the end of a long day. Since you're staying here, I don't see what the big deal is."

Snatching the bottle out of her hand, Gabriel threw it against the wall. "What if something happens? You're on call, tonight. What if you get a case? Did you plan on showing up to a crime scene smelling like a brewery? I thought the Boston Police Department was better than that. That shit would NEVER fly, in the Bureau."

Gaping at the shattered glass and beer spreading down the wall and across the floor, Jane let out a wordless growl and stormed off to her room. "FUCK YOU! If you're so worried about my ability to drive, then you can just call a cab and go home."

Several minutes later, there was a quiet knock on her door. "Baby? I'm sorry. I just hate to think of something happening to you. I don't want you getting in an accident, or in trouble at work, because I was thoughtless and let you drink. Forgive me? Please? It won't happen again. You just have to understand that I was just trying to look out for you. Come on, Baby, I love you. I didn't mean to upset you."

Leaning her forehead against the door, Jane sighed before opening it. "You love me?"

Nodding, he smiled and reached for her hand. "Of course. Do you think I would move here for you if I didn't? Now, you should probably clean up the mess before it dries."

Seeing her incredulous look, he looked down at his left arm and raised an eyebrow. Letting Gabriel lead her back to the kitchen, she grabbed the broom and dustpan. "How do you clean, at home? It can't be easy."

Watching her, he leaned against the counter. "I hold the dustpan with my foot, but I can't really do that with broken glass all over the floor. I really am sorry. I'd help, if I could. You know that, right?"

Throwing away the glass, she wet several paper towels, stopping to give him a kiss before starting to wipe up the beer. "I know, and it's ok. Just, no more throwing beer bottles, ok?"

Handing another handful of wet paper towels, he nodded. "I didn't mean to. I didn't even realize what I was doing. I was just upset that you weren't thinking about things. I know how hard it is to not be able to work, and I don't want that to happen to you. What if you get called to a scene and a witness complains because your breath smells like beer? You could get in serious trouble. By the time your Lieutenant heard about it, it'd be too late for a breathalyzer. All he'd have is your word against theirs. How would that make you look?"

Sighing, Jane washed her hands and let Gabriel pull her into a hug. "If it makes you feel better, I'll be more careful. I think you're overreacting, though. Anyway, I won't be drinking, tonight."

Kissing the side of her head, he led her back toward the bedroom. "Good. Now, let me show you just how sorry I am."

* * *

**A/N: I took liberties with Dean's injury. I don't remember where he was hit, or if they even really showed it. Honestly, I don't care. Also, while it is possible for a shattered bone to cause extensive muscle damage to the point of needing to remove the ruined portion, I have no idea if a bullet (or what caliber it would require) could do the required damage.**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is where I remind you of the trigger warnings from the first chapter. If you don't remember, then I'll remind you. If reading about mental and physical abuse and rape are difficult or triggering, then please do not continue.**

* * *

Over the next few months, Jane settled into a semblance of her old routine. She worked less, but she smiled more than she had, since the shooting. The few times she joined everyone at the Robber, Gabriel went with her and they left early. She never drank, and was usually quiet, letting everyone else do most of the talking.

The couple family dinners they were able to schedule went fairly predictably. Gabriel watched as Jane, or Angela, cooked. Frankie and Tommy showed up in time to eat. Angela spent most of the meal talking about Jane and Gabriel and how happy she was for them. Frankie and Tommy were quiet, making biting remarks to Jane when they were sure their mother couldn't hear them. After everyone left, Gabriel drank a beer and watched TV while Jane cleaned up before joining him on the couch with a glass of water.

* * *

When they'd been together for almost five months, Gabriel suggested he move in. Jane had picked him up from his apartment after work, like most days. Even though he spent almost every night with Jane, she would get up early to take him home before work, picking him afterward.

Opening his door and waiting for Jane to grab his overnight bag, he stopped her before she could leave the apartment. "Don't you think this is ridiculous? I eat, sleep, and shower at your apartment, but you bring me back here to wait for you to get off work. We should just live together. I don't see why I should be wasting what little money I have to pay for an apartment I don't really live in. I only have a monthly lease, so I think I should move in with you. You can help me pack, this weekend. All I really have is my clothes, so I can be moved in by Monday."

Dropping the bag, she stared at him in shock. "Do you really think we're ready to live together? Gabriel, we've only been together for a few months. What if things don't work out? What will we do, then? Don't you think we should wait until we've been together, longer? Why don't we talk about it, again, if we make it to a year?"

Clenching his jaw, Gabriel took a couple steps toward her before visibly restraining himself. "You don't think we'll last a year? If you're so sure this won't work, then why are we even together? If you don't want to be with me, then just say so. Stop wasting my time, so I can be with someone who'd be more grateful for everything I gave up to be with them. I love you, isn't that enough? Don't you love me?"

Hesitating, Jane opened her mouth a couple times, closing it again when she had nothing to say. The subject of love hadn't been brought up since their last argument, months ago. Finally, noticing the painful clenching of his jaw, she nodded. "Of course I love you. You know I appreciate you moving here for me. Ok, we'll come over to pack, this weekend."

Pulling her in for a hard kiss, he released her and waited for her to grab his bag and follow him out of the apartment. "You'll have to clear out some of your closet and dresser space for my clothes, but I think it's a perfect excuse for you to get rid of some of the clothes you don't need. We can go through everything before the weekend, that way there'll be plenty of room for my things."

Following him, she switched the bag to her other hand to take the key he held out so she could lock up. Handing it back, she walked down the hallway and started down the four flights of stairs.

* * *

That evening, after dinner, Gabriel decided they should start clearing space for his clothes. Sitting on the bed, he had Jane model each item for him. Afterward, he sorted them into piles.

Finally putting her original outfit back on, Jane eyed the piles on the bed. Reaching for the larger piles, she was surprised when Gabriel shook his head and pointed at the other one. "That's the keep pile. The other one is to be donated."

Hands on hips, she glared at him. "You can't just decide to get rid of more than half my clothing. What am I supposed to wear?"

Standing up, he took a step closer, glaring back and pointing at the first pile. "You won't be wearing any of that, if I have any say in it. I don't like my girlfriend parading around in front of other people showing off her body. I'm the only one that gets to see it, and you shouldn't want to show it to anyone else. You still have plenty of clothes for work and running errands. You don't need anything else."

Gaping she just stared, before grabbing the first pile and starting to go through it, throwing clothes all over the bed. "This is most of my work clothes, all my dresses, and all my gym clothes. What am I supposed to wear to the gym? My underwear? Wait, is this all my UNDERWEAR? What the FUCK? You KNOW you're the only one who sees it. I am NOT getting rid of my underwear."

Blocking her she moved to shove a handful of underwear back into a dresser drawer, Gabriel took it from her and threw it across the room. "That's right. I AM the only one who gets to see your underwear, so it doesn't matter if you don't wear any. You know how much I want you, all the time, and how hard it is for me to undress you. Do you think I like looking like a fumbling teenager when I try to make love to you? Do you have any idea how hard it to pull off your panties with only one hand? It's embarrassing when I can't even undress my girlfriend so we can make love. Just think how much easier it'll be if you don't have to help me undress you. Who will know, but you and me, if you're not wearing panties?"

Softening her gaze, Jane reached out to place a hand on his good arm. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize it bothered you so much that I have to help, sometimes. I thought you liked watching me undress for you. Tell you what, I'll try to remember not to wear underwear unless I'm going to work. Will that be ok?"

Nodding, Gabriel sighed and moved to lean against the dresser. "Yes, I guess that will have to do. You just don't realize how hard it for me, to not be able to do the simplest things."

Giving him a quick kiss, she walked back over to the bed to continue sorting through the pile. "Ok, but seriously, what am I supposed to wear to the gym? And I thought you liked me in the red dress."

Taking it from her, he set it down on the bed, firmly. "I do, and that's part of the problem. I don't want you wearing it for anyone else. I don't like it when other men look at you like they can have you. You're mine, and I don't like sharing, even if it's only looking. I shouldn't have to watch other men stare at you. It's pointless for you to wear it for just me, when I'd much rather see you naked."

Smiling faintly, she nodded. "Ok. I don't really mind the dresses, that much, but what about my work clothes? And my gym clothes? I really do need something to work out in."

Pointing at the other pile, he started trying to fix the pile she'd torn through. "You still have plenty of work clothes. I don't like the way men look at when you wear the others. You deal with a lot of low-lifes, and I don't want to think of them looking at you like a piece of meat. They can't have you, and they don't need to think they can. If you wear clothes that flaunt your body, then you're just sending them the message that they have every right to look at you and fantasize about having you. I don't like thinking of some murdering scumbag with his hands all over you, even in his mind."

Grimacing, Jane scooted the stack of work clothes aside, adding to the pile with her dresses. "Ok, when you put it that way, I don't want to wear them, either. You still haven't answered me about my gym clothes."

Sighing, Gabriel held up a sports bra, dropped it on the bed, and then held up a pair of spandex pants. "You might as well be naked, when you wear these. Muscle-bound steroid addicts do not need to see you almost naked. We can buy you some sweatpants and t-shirts to wear at the gym."

Rolling her eyes, Jane shoved the rest of the clothes away, picking up some of the remaining pile and moving toward the closet. "Fine, but you're paying for them. You know, I've never had anyone tell me my clothes showed too MUCH of my body, before. Usually, it's Ma telling me I should wear things that flatter my figure."

Handing her some more clothes, he sat on the bed. "Yes, but she's not dating you. She doesn't have to worry about seeing the way men look at you. I do, and I don't like seeing them undressing you in their heads. I'm a man, so I KNOW what they're thinking when they look at you."

Putting away the last of the clothes, she stood back with a sigh. "Well, there's definitely room for your clothes. I guess we should bag up everything else to be dropped off for donation."

* * *

That Saturday morning found them stopping to buy boxes before driving to Gabriel's apartment to pack his things. After he tried to awkwardly unfold and tape the first box, Jane took over. Pointing out that he couldn't really fold anything, and he didn't want his clothes to get wrinkled, he sat on the bed while Jane folded and packed all the clothes. Stripping the bed, she packed the bedding and towels in another box. Walking through with another box, she tossed in a few odds and ends. When she was sure they'd gotten everything, she started taping up all the boxes.

Looking at the pile, Jane picked up the first box and headed for the door. When Gabriel opened it for her and she stepped out into the hallway, she groaned when she realized she had to carry every box down four flights of stairs. One at a time. By herself. Sighing, she started down the stairs.

Almost an hour later, and after a couple short breaks, she finally had all the boxes packed into her car. Going back up the stairs, she did another walk-through, this time with Gabriel following her, to make sure they got everything. Closing and locking the door, they started back down the stairs. Stopping at the building manager's office, he turned in his key.

Getting out to the car, he turned to glare at Jane when he saw the back seat packed full. "You should've told me it wouldn't all fit. We could've made another trip."

Staring at the car, she furrowed her brow in confusion. "What do you mean, 'it wouldn't all fit?' It fit just fine. If there was even one more box, there wouldn't have been room, but everything's in there, and there's still room for us."

Looking back toward the building, Gabriel stormed over to the car. "Since I already turned in my key, there isn't really another option, but I am NOT impressed. Do you REALLY think it's safe to not be able to see out your back window? You will avoid main roads as much as possible, drive slowly, and keep your hazard lights on. If there was ANY other option, you would not be driving. You should've realized your view would be blocked and brought the first box back upstairs when you started needing to stack them. Really, it's not a big deal if we had to make two, or even three, trips. I would much rather feel safe, but I guess that's not an option."

Waiting for him to get in, Jane stomped around the car and got behind the wheel, slamming the door. "Yeah, well, YOU weren't the one who just carried a dozen boxes down four FUCKING flights of stairs, AFTER doing all the packing. Of COURSE you don't think making extra trips is a big deal. I'M the one that gets to carry them all up to my apartment and then UNPACK them. All you had to do was sit there, and then you complained when I wanted to take a break."

Leaning over, and yanking the keys out of the ignition, Gabriel glared at her. "It's not MY fault I can't help. Do you think I ASKED to basically be crippled? To lose my JOB? If you'd just let me go after Doyle, in the beginning, then I never would've been shot. Instead, I waited, and LOOK what happened. If you'd just let me do my job, then I would still HAVE a job, and my arm. Don't you DARE yell at me for something that isn't MY fault. "

Resting her head against the steering wheel, Jane took several deep breaths to calm herself before looking at him. "Look, I know this is hard for you, but it's not my fault, either. I didn't shoot you. I didn't tell you to come to the warehouse. Can we just stop fighting about this? I'm sorry I over packed the car, and I'm sorry I complained. I don't think this is your fault. I'm just tired from going up and down the stairs so many times. Look, why don't we go home, eat some lunch, and then I'll start bringing the boxes up. You can help decide where to put everything. I'll feel better after I eat and rest."

Holding the keys out, he didn't let go right away. "Fine, but this isn't over. Remember, you are sticking to side streets. Turn on your hazards before you pull out, and you better drive slowly. I don't like not feeling safe. It's bad enough you can't see out the back, you don't need to compound it with driving recklessly."

Turning on her hazard lights, Jane rolled down her window and leaned out to look carefully to make sure the street was empty of traffic before pulling out. Staying well under the speed limit and staying off the main roads, it took more than thirty minutes to make it to her apartment.

When Jane went to enter the building, she was stopped by Gabriel standing in front of her and pointing back at the car. "You had your rest. We just spent the last half hour in the car. After you bring up the first box, you can make lunch. I'll eat while you unload the rest, then you can eat before unpacking. I don't want to risk someone deciding a carload of unattended boxes are an easy target. I don't want everything I own stolen because you're too 'tired' to carry a few boxes. There's an elevator, so it's not like you have to even worry about stairs."

Sighing, she unlocked the car and grabbed the first box. Realizing Gabriel had already entered the building and got on the elevator, she shuffled until she was able to pull the door open. By the time she got inside, the elevator had already left, so she pushed the button and waited.

Getting to her door, she found it locked. Kicking the door, she waited. Not getting an answer, she kicked again. When the box started feeling even heavier, she finally shuffled it around so she could dig her keys out of her pocket and then carefully unlock and open the door.

Dropping the box on the floor, Jane glared at Gabriel as he walked down the hallway. "You couldn't open the door for me, or at least leave it unlocked?"

Looking from her to the box, he raised an eyebrow. "It took you that long just to carry one box upstairs? And you can't even put it where it belongs? At least put it in the bedroom, so it'll be easier to unpack, later. Now, I'm hungry and you need to make lunch. Then you can go get the rest of the boxes."

At his look, Jane shut her mouth, picked up the box, and carried it into the bedroom. Setting it down by the closet, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Walking back to the kitchen, she found Gabriel sitting at the counter. Finding ingredients for macaroni and cheese sitting on the counter, she started getting everything ready to cook lunch.

* * *

More than an hour later, Jane finally had all the boxes inside and arranged to Gabriel's liking. Grabbing a bowl, she found only a few spoonfuls of macaroni left sitting cold in the bottom of the pan. Sighing, she scraped it out and ate quickly. Still hungry, but knowing making more food wasn't an acceptable option, she washed the dishes.

Going back to the bedroom, she started opening boxes. Gabriel joined her a moment later and sat on the bed to watch. Once all the boxes were open, he started directing her where to put things. When they realized Jane's small closet wasn't big enough to hold everything, she was forced to grab her clothing off hangers and shove them into her side of the dresser.

Finally, she remade the bed with Gabriel's bedding, because he found Jane's too feminine. Sitting down for a moment, the silence was interrupted by her stomach growling loudly. Seeing Gabriel's disgusted look, she grimaced. "Sorry. I didn't have much for lunch and I've been burning a lot of calories, today."

Shaking his head, he stared at her. "You should've cooked more. It's not my fault that you don't know how to plan properly. You should be grateful I made sure to save you some. Now, you need to get rid of these boxes and shower. You stink, and you really shouldn't be sitting on the furniture. If you've gotten sweat on the blanket, then you'll need to do laundry so we can sleep in a clean bed, tonight. I'm going to watch TV while you clean up. When you're done, you should probably start cooking dinner. I don't want to have to wait before I can eat."

Watching him walk out of the room, she started folding up the boxes and breaking them down so they could be stuffed down the garbage shoot. Cursing loudly when she managed to slice open the side of her hand on the cardboard, she winced when Gabriel yelled from the living room for her to keep it down. Being extra careful to stay quiet and not cut herself again, she broke down the rest of the boxes.

Grabbing an armload, she opened the front door and walked down the hall and around the corner to the garbage shoot. Walking back, she was stunned to find the door locked. Knocking, she waited until she heard Gabriel grumble from the other side. Several moments later it was finally opened. Seeing his furious glare, she looked down and waited until he moved out of the way so she could enter the apartment.

Picking another armload of boxes from the bedroom, she was stopped in the hallway by a pissed Gabriel. Reaching for her hand, he squeezed it roughly and dragged her down the hall to the kitchen. Slamming her hand down on the counter over her keys, he forced her to pick them up before finally letting go. Guiding her with a forceful hand on her elbow, he led her to the door, made a show of opening it and then locking it. Pushing her out the door, he slammed it behind her.

Closing her eyes, Jane walked down the hall to dispose of the boxes. Rubbing her hand on her way back to her door, she hesitated before unlocking and opening the door as quietly as possible. Making sure Gabriel was sitting on the couch, she locked the door and went after the final load of boxes. Repeating the ritual of locking the door behind her, she dumped the boxes.

Letting herself back into the apartment, she stripped and left her dirty clothes in the laundry room. Not bothering to grab clean clothes, since Gabriel preferred her to be naked at home, she walked to the bathroom. Turning the water on as hot as she could stand, she stood under the spray rubbing her hands and letting herself cry for a couple minutes. Shaking herself, she scrubbed all signs of tears from her face before turning the water to cool, so the mirror wouldn't be steamed up, and finished showering.

Climbing out, she quickly dried off and toweled her hair. Digging out her hair dryer, she carefully brushed and dried her hair completely. Putting on make-up, she was finally presentable enough to leave the bathroom.

* * *

Searching through the freezer and cupboards, Jane smiled slightly when she found a couple steaks behind a carton of ice cream. Hearing her stomach growl, she turned quickly to make sure Gabriel hadn't heard it, before unwrapping the steaks so she could defrost them. Getting out a couple potatoes, she decided to go simple, and filling.

Almost an hour later, the food was done. Letting Gabriel know, she sat on the couch while he served himself. Pressing her hands into her stomach, she tried to keep it from growling at the smells filling the apartment. When Gabriel finally sat back on the couch and let her know he was done eating, she got up. Forcing herself to go slowly, she walked into the kitchen. Seeing only half a baked potato left, she closed her eyes to keep from crying. Eating quickly, she did the dishes then brought Gabriel his beer and joined him on the couch with her water.

* * *

Three hours later, Gabriel was finally ready for bed. Jane had been forcing her eyes to stay open for more than an hour and let out a silent sigh in relief. Walking to the bedroom, she turned down the bed and waited for Gabriel to finish in the bathroom. When she tried to enter after he exited, he grabbed her elbow and glared.

Leading her back to the bedroom, he pushed her down on the bed. "It's our first night living together, and you want to make me wait? I thought you loved me. I want to celebrate."

Propping herself up on her elbows, Jane looked at him. "I just need to use the bathroom. We can celebrate. I want to celebrate. I just need to pee, first."

Climbing on the bed, he pulled her thighs apart before kneeling between them. Looking down at her, he stroked himself. "I don't want to wait. I need you, now."

Trying to sit up, Gabriel pushed her back down. When she tried to roll over, he grabbed both her hands in his and dug his thumb into the center of her palm. When she tried to jerk her hands away, he got up. Leaving the room, Jane stayed on the bed, not sure what he was doing. When he came back, he was carrying her handcuffs.

Climbing back on the bed, he crawled awkwardly until he was straddling her. "We can do this two ways. Either you hold still, or I make you. You've been a selfish bitch all day, and I'm tired of it."

Nodding dumbly, Jane held as still as possible. When he closed the cuffs around one wrist and pulled it over her head, she stared in shock. When he yanked the other hand up and cuffed it, she started to thrash. Digging his knees into her ribs, he held her still. "I TOLD you to be still."

Whimpering and shaking, she stared up at him and shook her head. "Please, uncuff me. Please. You KNOW what Hoyt did to me. Please, I just need my hands free. I'll hold still, I promise."

Placing his hand in the center of her chest, Gabriel sat back so he resting on her hips, effectively keeping her upper body immobile. "You love me, right?" When he pressed a little harder she nodded frantically. "And you know I love you, right?" When she nodded again, he smirked down at her. "Then you just have to trust me. I don't want to hurt you. You just hold still and let me make love to you, and I'll take off the cuffs. I just need you to hold still, and I only have one hand. Will you hold still for me?"

Nodding, Jane started taking deep breaths when he stopped pushing on her chest. When he shifted down her body, she opened her legs to let him kneel between then. Feeling a hand groping between her legs, she closed her eyes and waited. Hearing an angry growl, she opened her eyes to see him glaring down at her. Seeing him spit into his hand, she slammed her eyes shut and bit her lip when he shoved three fingers into her.

Gabriel thrust inside her a few minutes later. Wincing, she made an involuntary noise of shock. Stopping, he gripped her chin hard until she opened her eyes to look at him. "Be quiet. I feel like I'm in bed with a man. If you can't sound like a woman, then I don't want to hear you."

Nodding, she held his gaze until he let go of her face. Closing her eyes, she focused on being still and silent for him.

* * *

When he was done, Gabriel unlocked the cuffs and sat next to Jane, rubbing her sore wrists. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, Baby. I didn't want to. I was just so frustrated all day, feeling useless. I just love you so much, and you looked so sexy, that I needed you. You know how much I need you, right? I didn't mean to hurt you. Will you forgive me? I love you, and I'm so happy we're living together. I don't want to do anything to ruin that. Can you forgive me? You know I didn't mean it, right?"

Blinking away tears and swallowing to try to wet her dry mouth, Jane nodded. "I know you love me, and I'm happy we're living together, too. You just hurt me. You know what Hoyt did to my hands. I just panic when I can't move them. If you need me to hold still, then just tell me, and I'll do my best. Just please, I need to be able to move my hands, ok?"

Bringing her hands to his mouth, he kissed the red marks on her wrists tenderly. "I'm sorry. I just thought you'd be able to trust me enough to know I wasn't going to hurt you. Forgive me? Please. I'm so sorry, Baby. It won't happen again. I promise. I just needed you so much it was driving me crazy. You have no idea what you do to me."

Sighing and rubbing her wrists, Jane pushed herself upright. "I forgive you, just remember that I need to be able to move my hands. Is it ok if I go to the bathroom, now?"

Nodding, he kissed her shoulder and smiled. "Yes, and then I want to hold you. I love you."

Smiling wanly, she nodded. "I love you, too. I'll be right back."

* * *

**A/N: Before you send hate mail, remember that I DID warn you. Be made at me for everything that happened, but do NOT be mad at me because you didn't see it coming. It's not my fault if you didn't read the Author's Notes, or chose to ignore them. **

**I will warn you one more time. This story WILL get worse. This is NOT a fluff piece, in any way. If anyone ignores the categories AND my warnings, then I take no blame when they fail to find any hint of romance, happiness, or fluffy kittens. This is a dark fic (a term I do not use lightly) that will not leave you with warm fuzzies.**

**I've already gotten one review telling me they hate Dean and won't be reading. If that is you ONLY reason, then please give this fic a chance. I'm sure you can tell where this is going, now, and that it's not a 'Dean Fan Club' fic. However, if you have ANY reservations about the warnings I've given, then PLEASE think carefully before continuing.  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Several people have asked about Maura. Yes, she will coming back. Just not yet.**

**To allay some fears - This is NOT a "Dean's Fan Club" story. I already know his fate, but feel free to speculate and plot, all you want.**

* * *

Shortly after Gabriel moved in, he started meeting Jane at the door when she came home from work. He'd take her badge, gun, and handcuffs and lock them in the gun safe he insisted on buying to keep in the bedroom. While he was locking everything up, she'd place her phone carefully on the coffee table, leave her work clothes in the laundry room, take a short, cold shower, do her hair and make-up, then make dinner. After dinner was done, she'd wait while Gabriel ate, before eating her own meal. Once all the dishes were washed, she'd bring Gabriel his beer and join him on the couch with her water.

Even though he frequently ate almost all the food she made for dinner, Jane didn't cook more. The one time she had tried to prepare larger portions, he yelled at her for being wasteful and threw out everything that was left after he ate. She didn't eat dinner that night, and she didn't try to fix extra food, again.

Instead, she started eating larger lunches at work and snacking throughout the day. Frost and Korsak started making frequent references to her increased appetite, implying that she was getting fat and asking if she was pregnant. She started going out for lunch, eating alone in her car, the windows down to prevent the food smells from settling, and carefully disposing of all trash and crumbs before returning to work.

When Angela commented on her wardrobe, insisting it was masculine and unflattering, Jane hid her wince and listened in silence. When Tommy joined in, followed shortly by Frankie, she just stared at her plate.

Invitations to the Robber were turned down more frequently. Her excuses of 'date night' were met with smirks and teasing about being too in love to spend time with friends.

Gabriel had been living there for nearly a month when she went to get dressed and found all of her underwear missing. Sighing in resignation, she got dressed, anyway, and left for work. That evening, she found them shredded and tossed in the kitchen trashcan. She didn't comment, or buy more.

* * *

One morning, Jane got an early call out to a scene, the first in a long time. Getting ready as quietly as possible, so she didn't wake Gabriel, she left a note and slipped out. When she got home that night she was met with a pissed Gabriel holding up her note and glaring. Yanking her gun, badge, and handcuffs from her, he stormed off to lock them up.

Hanging her head, she undressed quickly. Taking a quick shower, she was extra careful to keep the water too cold to risk steaming up the mirror. Putting extra effort into her hair and make-up for the evening, she made her way silently to the kitchen. Getting out the steaks she'd been saving for their next anniversary, in a couple weeks, she made sure to cook them both exactly how Gabriel liked them. When she found her portion thrown in the trash, she sighed and washed the dishes.

Bringing Gabriel his beer, she decided to forgo her water. She watched the game in silence, flinching when he'd yell or gesture at a play. When he held out his empty beer, she was quick to jump up and get him a fresh one.

He used the handcuffs, that night. Afterward, he apologized and explained that he was worried when he woke up to find her gone, and then spent all day worrying when he didn't hear from her.

She didn't leave the bed without waking him, first, again.

* * *

On their one year anniversary, Gabriel met Jane at the door with pink roses. Directing her to shower and get ready to go out, he locked her things away and waited. Coming out in what seemed to be his favorite outfit on her, simple black slacks and white button-down, she stood and waited. When he gave his nod of approval, she quickly got down a vase and put the roses in water.

Getting into the car, she was surprised when he directed her a fairly nice restaurant. Smiling, she let herself relax. Dinner was good, and she was able to eat a full evening meal for the first time in longer than she could remember. Being careful to eat slowly, she savored each bite, not knowing when she'd get such a treat, again.

After dinner, they went to see a movie. Standing behind him, Jane listened as Gabriel picked the movie. Ignoring the fact that it was reported to have far more blood and violence then she typically enjoyed, she waited as he bought popcorn and a soda. When, part way through the movie, she reached for the soda only to have her hand slapped away, she slumped in her chair and the smile fell off her face.

When they got home, Gabriel slammed the door behind them. Yanking her elbow, he spun Jane around to face him. "What did you think you were doing? It's our ANNIVERSARY and you spent the entire night acting like a shameless whore. That's why I don't let you go out. You just can't seem to control yourself. You're MINE, and I do NOT like watching you throwing yourself at every man you see."

Gaping, it took Jane a moment to register his words. When she did, she started sputtering before calming enough to speak. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't 'throw myself' at anyone. I was too busy enjoying our DATE. Tell me one person I 'threw myself' at."

Huffing, he started pacing, his voice getting angrier and his gestures more emphatic. "FIRST, you can't stop smiling at the waiter. All through dinner, I had to watch you smile and flirt with him every time he came to the table. You were almost fucking him on the table. THEN, I catch you leaning over to flash the boy behind the ticket stand at the theater. Do you like pimply teenagers, now? Are you such a whore, that you'll fuck anything with a penis? You are MINE, and I do NOT share."

When he suddenly picked up the vase of flowers and threw it at her head, with the last statement, she managed to barely duck in time. Flinching, she felt a shard of glass cut the back of her hand.

Moving to sit on the couch, he glared at her. "Now, clean that up, then go shower. I never want to see you wearing that outfit, again. If it's not in the trash before you're in the shower, then I will find it. I won't have you dressing like a whore."

Gulping, Jane nodded and quickly got out the broom and dustpan. Cleaning up all the glass, she gathered the flowers and set them on the counter before moving to mop up the water. When she stood back up, Gabriel was holding the roses and glaring at her. "Do you think you still deserve these? I bought these for my girlfriend, not a shameless whore. Now, go shower so I don't have to think about everyone's eyes all over you."

Nodding mutely, she undressed in the kitchen, dropping her clothes into the trashcan before heading for the bathroom. She was barely under the spray before the door slammed open. "If you don't mind strangers looking at your body, then you don't need to block it from me. You are never to close a door on me. I shouldn't have to open a door to look at what's mine. Understood?"

Hoping her tears were covered by the water, Jane nodded and watched numbly as he left the room.

He met her in the hallway holding her handcuffs. She followed him silently to bed.

The next day, she came home to find the doorknobs removed from the bedroom and bathroom doors. A new bouquet of roses sat on the counter, an apology card tucked in the cardholder.

He started using the handcuffs almost every night.

* * *

When her phone rang one evening several weeks later, Jane didn't even bother answering it. Gabriel picked it up off the table and checked the caller ID. Holding it out sharply, he glared at her. "Who is this? Who did you give your number to? Are you cheating on me?"

Flinching back, she shook her head frantically. "I don't recognize the number. I swear. I would never cheat on you. I love you."

Glaring, he punched the button violently to answer the call. Listening for a moment, he hung up before throwing the phone against the wall, shattering it. "Why the FUCK is the PRISON HOSPITAL calling you with updates on Paddy DOYLE, the man who RUINED my life? Is this some sort of sick joke? Do you get a sick thrill out of knowing how that bastard is doing? Do you laugh behind my back about how I wasn't able to kill him? You LIKE me crippled, don't you? You LIKE the fact that my arm is fucking USELESS! You're such an ungrateful, selfish bitch that you forgot that it's YOUR fault I got shot. If it wasn't for YOU I would've been able to arrest Doyle, instead of having to follow you to a burned out warehouse and get ambushed. Were you waiting for the bastard to wake up so he could come finish the job? Too much of a coward to break up with me, so you were waiting for him to kill me? If so, you're going to be waiting a LONG time. The bastard just died. Looks like you actually did something right, even if it DID take almost two years for it to happen.

"Well, I have news for you, I'm the best you'll ever get. Do you really think you could ever get another man? No one wanted you, before me, and no one will want you, afterward. No man wants to date a woman like you. There's a reason I don't let you talk in bed, and why I don't let you wear clothes at home. It's the only way to remind myself that you're FEMALE! I've heard eighty year old men who smoked three packs a day that didn't have voices as deep as yours. The only thing that reminds me I'm not with a fucking MAN, is your CUNT! If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were a trannie.

"The only man you'd ever find to take you, is a fag. Do you want to be fucked up the ass by fags for the rest of your life? Fuck, cut your hair and the only thing you're missing is a cock. You certainly don't have any tits.

"I don't even know why I put up with you. Do you have any idea how hard it is to live with an ungrateful bitch? I moved here for YOU, and you don't even seem to care. I gave up EVERYTHING! For YOU! Did you forget that? I gave up EVERYTHING, and you can't even do a few simple things right. All I want is for you to act like a proper woman, but that seems to be beyond your capabilities. Do you think everyone would be as patient as I have been? Do you think anyone else would've put up with your shit for this long?"

Noticing the silent tears streaming down her face, Gabriel smacked her so hard across the face that her lip split and she bit the inside of her cheek. Feeling blood pool in her mouth, she stared at him in shock. Slapping her again, he glared "Don't you DARE think you have the right to be upset. You have NO right to be upset. I gave up EVERYTHING for you. If you remember nothing else, remember that. I gave up EVERYTHING, and you OWE me."

When he raised his hand to slap her again, Jane instinctively grabbed it and tried to pin it behind his back. Since they were still sitting on the couch, all she managed to do was pull it closer to herself. Standing, he yanked his arm out of her grip and punch her in the jaw. When her head flew back, he grabbed a handful of hair and dragged her off the couch and down the hall. Throwing her onto the bed, he punched her in the stomach a few times before walking to the closet.

Getting out Jane's cuffs, he dropped them to punch her in the side of the face, when he saw her trying to get up. Picking them up, he quickly cuffed one wrist. Grabbing both in his good hand, he dragged them up to the headboard, kneeling across her elbows when she tried to fight, he got both hands cuffed to the headboard. When Jane tried to kick him, he punched her in the ribs a few times before moving out of range.

Moving to the closet, he grabbed a couple ties, and tied a loop in each one. Avoiding her legs, he crawled onto the bed by Jane's head and punched her in the stomach. While she gasped for breath, he got the loops slipped over each ankle, tightening them against her skin. Before she managed to start fighting, again, he had one ankle tied to the footboard. Catching the other one, he knelt on her thigh and tied it to the other side, spreading her legs wide.

Kneeling up between her legs, Gabriel panted for breath and glared at her. "You do NOT have the right to fight me. You are MINE. To do with as I PLEASE. Do you think anyone CARES? Who are YOU going to tell? MAURA left you. You FATHER left you. You MOTHER likes me more than you. FRANKIE knows this is all your fault. Even TOMMY knows you're to blame. Do you think KORSAK cares? If he cares so MUCH, why is he never around? What about FROST? Do you think FROST cares? I think he's GLAD when he doesn't have to talk to you. You are a WHINING. SELFISH. UNGRATEFUL. BUTCH. BITCH. Who deserves EVERYTHING I choose to give her. Do you UNDERSTAND?"

With each sentence punctuated with a hard punch to the abdomen, Jane was unable to draw enough breath to speak. Nodding mutely, she watched him in pain and fear. When he stood up and quickly unfastened his pants, she squeezed her eyes shut. Feeling three fingers shoved roughly into her, she bit her lip. When she felt him climb back on the bed, she squeezed her eyes as tightly shut as possible, bit her lip until she tasted blood, and tensed every muscle to keep as still as possible while he entered her.

* * *

The next morning, Jane woke up still handcuffed and tied to the bed. When Gabriel woke up several minutes later and realized she was awake, he undid her bonds without a word and told her to go clean herself up.

Moving as carefully as possible, she made her way to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, she grimaced and fought back tears. The left side of her jaw was bruised and swollen, her lip would split open if she spoke, several bruises littered her torso, her wrists were raw and bleeding from fighting the cuffs, and her ankles were ringed in rope burn. Climbing into the shower, she washed quickly, wincing when the cold water made her bruises ache and tighten and the soap stung the cuts.

After doing her hair and make-up, she walked carefully back to the bedroom. Choosing a dark top with sleeves that reached several inches below her wrists, she dressed slowly. Walking to the kitchen, she was met by a silent Gabriel. Taking the coffee he offered, but not attempting to drink it, she sat in silence while he drank his. When he was done, she took both cups to the sink, poured out her cold coffee, and washed them.

Giving him the expected kiss, even though it made her lip split and start bleeding, she took the gun, badge, and handcuffs he offered her at the door. Fastening everything in place, she gave him another kiss and left. When she got to the elevator, she took out her handcuffs. They'd been thoroughly cleaned while she showered.

* * *

Frost did a double-take and whistled when Jane walked into the squad room. Holding up a hand to stave off questions, she shook her head. "Really bad day in kickboxing, last night. The other guy looks worse. He just got in a couple lucky shots."

Tilting his head, he whistled again. "Are they supposed to go for headshots? Are you sure you're ok? Did you see a doctor?"

Wincing at the mention of a doctor, she covered it by reaching for her split lip before running her fingers over her tender jaw. "Yeah, well, he wasn't aiming for my head. I slipped and my head kinda got in the way of his foot. I'm fine. I don't need a doctor. It looks worse than it is."

Clucking quietly to himself, Korsak shook his head. "Didn't Dean insist you get that checked out? Your lip might need stitches."

Running her tongue over her lip, Jane covered an involuntary flinch. "It's fine. Gabriel took care of me, last night. Really, it looks worse than it is."

Grimacing in sympathy, Frost stood. "Yeah, well, it looks really bad. Since I doubt you were able to eat or drink anything with that lip, I'm guessing you really need caffeine. Iced coffee. My treat."

Deciding against trying to smile, she nodded in thanks.

A few minutes later, Korsak scooted his chair over. "Hey, I didn't know if you'd heard, Doyle died last night."

Wincing, Jane shook her head. "What happened?"

Shrugging, Korsak looked at her. "I thought they would've called you. I know you were getting updates on him. Anyway, he had another heart attack. That one was just too much, and they weren't able to revive him. Since he's been in a coma for almost two years, it's not really a surprise. I bet there are a lot people really pissed that he died without having to face trial, though."

Gesturing absently, Jane rolled her eyes. "My phone had an, accident, so I didn't get any calls last night. I'm not sure if I should be upset or happy that he died. After everything, I was never quite sure how I felt about him."

Looking at her strangely, Korsak furrowed his brows in thought. "You phone had an accident? During kickboxing? I thought you weren't supposed to carry cell phones to things like that."

Shaking her head, she glared. "No, the accident was before kickboxing. Last night did not go well."

Chuckling, he scooted back to his desk. "Yeah, well, at least you had Dean there at the end of the night to take care of you."

Not looking in his direction, she nodded.

Even though she got a new phone at lunch, Jane 'accidentally' left it in her desk when she went home.

* * *

Gabriel met her at the door with an apology, an ice pack, and a bouquet of pink roses. He let her make herself soup for dinner, and even suggested ice cream for dessert.

When he got out the handcuffs and ties, that night, she didn't even try to fight.

The ties stayed connected to the bed, after that, and were always used with the handcuffs.

* * *

**A/N: I want this story to be a way to bring attention a topic that is usually glossed over as 'too sensitive,' 'too painful,' or 'too shameful' to be talked about. Too often, victims and survivor's of domestic violence and sexual assault are made to feel guilty or alienated because of what they've been forced to endure. Escaping domestic violence is NOT as simple as the victim leaving. There is a deeply psychological component that extends far beyond the physical abuse.**

**Explaining the signs of domestic violence would take pages and pages, and would still not touch on everything. If you want more information, then here are some sites you can visit (remember to remove the spaces once you copy/paste):**

**National Domestic Violence Hotline Web Site: **http : / / www . thehotline . org /  
**Domestic Violence Services: **http : / / www . domesticviolenceservices . com /  
**Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network: **http : / / www . rainn . org /  
**National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **http : / / www . loveisrespect . org /

**For victims and survivors who needs someone to talk to, here are some hotline (if someone wants to send me info on hotlines outside of the US, feel free, and I'll include them in the future):**

**Rape and Sexual Assault: **1-800-656-4673  
**Domestic Violence Hopeline: **1-800-621-HOPE (4673)  
**National Domestic Violence Hotline: **1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY 1-800-787-3224  
**Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **1-866-331-9474 TTY 1-866-331-8453

**International Numbers for Domestic Violence Information and Services:  
Australia **- 1800 811 811  
**USA** - 1800 799 7233  
**UK** - 0808 2000 247  
**Canada** - 1800 363 9010  
**NZ** - 0508 744 63


	5. Chapter 5

**Originally, I planned to start posting this story a couple weeks before the season three premiere. However, April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. When I learned that, I realized that this story has a message too relevant and important, for me to not start posting early.**

* * *

Twenty three months after the shooting, four months after Paddy Doyle's death, Maura stopped her rotation. She had managed to visit every major medical examiner's office, and several of the minor ones, in the state. Most were much improved, after her efforts. A few changes of procedure and personnel improved moral, eased relations with local police departments, and made everything run more smoothly and efficiently.

Deciding it was time to stop hiding, Maura contacted dispatch to let them know she would be back on active duty, and to contact her for the next crime scene. Leaving her office door open for the first time in more than a year, she took a deep breath and smiled.

* * *

When Jane walked up to the crime scene, two days later, she was stunned to see Maura kneeling over the body. Turning sharply, she ignored Maura's stare and strode quietly around the side of the building. When Frost joined her a few moments later, she clenched her fists at her side and glared at him. "Why didn't you tell me she'd be here?"

Putting both hands up, he looked over his shoulder. "I didn't know. I swear. If I had, I would've warned you. I had no idea she was back. If you want, I can take care of things here, and you can go start taking witness statements."

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she nodded. "Yeah, that might be best. I just can't deal with, that, right now. I'll see you at the station."

* * *

Watching her walk away, Frost sighed before turning and heading back toward the body. Taking a deep breath and steeling himself, he walked up. "So, what do we have, so far?"

Looking up, Maura studied him for a moment. "Caucasian male. Approximately 35-40 years of age. From the level of decay and insect activity, I'd say he's been here for at least a couple days. No obvious cause of death. I'll know more once I do the autopsy and get lab results." Snapping her gloves off and dropping them in an evidence bag, Maura stood and stared at him. "Now, you can tell me what's wrong with Jane."

Sputtering, he stared at her in shocked anger. "Wrong with Jane? Seriously? You stop acknowledging her existence, ignore her apologies, avoid her, and then basically disappear for almost two years, and you want to know what's WRONG with her? You thought, after cutting her out of your life, like that, you could just show up without warning and she wouldn't bat an eye? I know they call you the Queen of the Dead, but I never thought you were that coldhearted."

Flinching at his words, she looked around at all the crime scene personnel staring at them disbelief. Nodding her head to the side, she led him toward the corner Jane had disappeared around, earlier. Stopping, she took a deep breath and turned to face him. "I deserve that, and I know it. I won't try to refute any of it, but I can't change the past. I'll do my best to explain, at some point, but not right now. She deserves to be the first one to hear it. I really am worried about Jane. She's changed."

When Frost opened his mouth, Maura held up a hand and shook her head. "No, I mean her physical appearance had changed. She's always favored clothing that masks her figure, but what she was wearing was even baggier and shapeless than usual. She's thinner. It's hard to tell under the clothes, but her face is thinner, and she has hollows under her eyes. It looks like she hasn't been eating or sleeping well for quite some time.

"Her bearing has changed, too. She was tense, and she held herself closer than usual. Before, her arms would always swing as she walked. Her body language and gestures let everyone know that she was confident in her own abilities and held a position of authority. The woman I just saw held her arms close to her body, her shoulders and back were hunched, head down, and her gait had lost all it's confidence and fluidity. If I had to make a comparison, she looked like a skittish animal. Like she expected to be attacked at any moment."

Realizing she had his attention, she spoke quieter and held his gaze. "What happened to her since I left? That wasn't the same Jane I knew."

Closing his eyes, Frost took a deep breath before opening them to meet her gaze. "You just said it. You left, Maura. For six months, she completely shut down. She did nothing but work. She didn't talk to her family. She didn't go to the Robber. All she did, was work. I think she even slept at her desk or in the conference room, some nights. For six months.

"Then, Dean came. He moved here for her. She started smiling more. Not as much as before, but more. She stopped avoiding everyone outside of work. He's been good for her.

"She's not the same woman she was two years ago, but that's your fault. You left, and she lost her best friend. I don't know what happened with her family, because she never talks about it, but I don't think she really has them anymore, either. Now, if we're done, I need to start working on this case."

Watching him walk away without a glance, Maura wiped away her tears. Composing herself, she straightened her dress, took a deep breath, and made her way back to oversee her team.

* * *

For two weeks, Maura gave Jane space. She didn't try to approach her or contact her. She smiled and nodded when they saw each other, but she didn't try for more.

For two weeks, Maura watched Jane. When she brought results up to the squad room. At crime scenes. In passing. Across the lobby of the station.

For two weeks, Maura grew more and more concerned. Everything she'd seen in her first glance was still there. The more she looked, the more she noticed. The more she noticed, the more she stood by her comparison to a skittish animal.

Deciding she had enough evidence, Maura approached Korsak. Calling him down to her office during a slow day, she fidgeted nervously while she waited. After her confrontation with Frost, she wasn't sure how he would respond.

Her nerves hadn't calmed by the time he walked through the door. Stopping her nervous pacing, she gestured toward the couch. "Vince. Sergeant Korsak. Would you like to take a seat? I must admit, this is more personal than professional, but I wasn't sure who else to approach. Barry. Detective Frost, has made his feelings on the subject quite apparent."

Staying standing, he watched her. After a moment of silence, he gave a small nod. "Ok, Doc, what can I do for you?"

Letting out a sigh of relief, she almost collapsed into a chair. When Korsak seated himself on the couch across from her, she smiled at him, faintly. "I was hoping you could tell me what's wrong with Jane. Now, before you interrupt, I am talking about something much deeper than could be explained by my disappearance from her life, which I do intend to try to remedy. I've been watching her since I got back, and I'm very worried. She's displaying behavioral markers of a victim of long-term abuse. Barry mentioned that she was dating Gabriel Dean, when we talked."

Nodding at her sincerity, he took a moment before answering. "Yeah, she's been with Dean for more than a year, now. He showed up when she really needed someone to just be there for her. You'd left. Angela was working two jobs and couldn't really be around. I'm not really sure, since they'd never say anything to me, directly, but I think Frankie and Tommy blame her for what happened. Dean made her smile. For the first time in months, Jane actually looked happy."

Studying him, Maura's look grew more concerned. "You seem less sure that it's still true. What changed?"

Looking into the air over her shoulder, Korsak shrugged. "Nothing. Not really. It's more a gut feeling, than anything. She still seems happy, but it feels forced. If I had to guess, I'd say she's holding onto a relationship she knows is over, because she just needs to feel close to someone."

Shaking her head sadly, Maura sighed. "I think it's more than that. I don't think it's a healthy relationship. Like I said, she's exhibiting behavioral markers of a long-term abuse victim. Perhaps I can see the changes because of my absence, but I doubt behaviors like those I've observed could be caused by my absence."

Thinking, he shrugged, again. "I'm not sure what you're seeing. She hasn't had any unexplainable injuries. She's still Jane, just quieter, but she's been quiet since the shooting. I'm just not sure what you're seeing."

Closing her eyes, Maura took a breath. When she opened them, they were full of tears. "The Jane I've seen over the past two weeks, is frightened. I've seen her afraid after a nightmare, and this is different. It's, deeper. After waking from a nightmare, there was always that moment when she realized it was just a dream and she was safe. This woman doesn't have that.

"She's lost a lot of weight. I know it's hard to tell under her clothes, but her cheeks and eyes are hollow and sunken, like she's suffering from long-term malnutrition. Her clothes, themselves, are more ill-fitting and shapeless than ever. They are picked for the sole purpose of disguising as much of her figure as possible. Not once, in the past two weeks, have I sean her wearing anything but long sleeves, which is strange since she always had trouble finding shirts with sleeves long enough for her long limbs.

"She holds herself like she's in constant pain, particularly around her torso. Her arms are almost always held clenched over her stomach, and her spinal column is slumped forward, which is an instinctual reaction to protect the soft tissue and organs of the lower abdomen. Her gait is more subdued and jolting, like she's expecting to need to change course suddenly.

"Barry told me that she 'shut down' after I left, but I don't think that explains her changes in personality and behavior. Instead of pressing an issue, she simply stops. It's as if she will do anything to avoid conflict, but feels the need to make a token protest, to keep up appearances. I have not seen her yell, or even raise her voice above a moderate level, even in friendly banter.

"Everything about her body language and behavior seems to be an effort to remain as unnoticeable as possible. She's made her emotions, her voice, her body, and her physical presence take up as little room and attention as possible. If Agent Dean is a danger to her, then something must be done."

Korsak shook his head. "I'm not sure what you're seeing, but Dean isn't a danger to her. After all the damage from Doyle's bullet, his left arm is useless. He has to wear it in a sling. There's no way Jane wouldn't be able to take down a man with only one arm. Sorry, Doc, I really don't know what to tell you, but I think you're seeing things that aren't there, or are reading them wrong. A lot of what you mentioned has been around since the warehouse. You just haven't been here to see it."

Nodding, Maura stood. "Well, thank you for at least being willing to hear me out. I really do appreciate it."

Reaching out to pat her shoulder, he smiled. "Any time, Maura. You may have been gone for awhile, but you probably had your reasons. If you're serious about fixing things with Jane, then maybe you should start by hearing her reasons, before you start in on yours. After all, she's been waiting two years to share hers. Don't be surprised if she doesn't want to talk to you, though. You left with no explanation, and stayed gone, she's not going to just forget that."

Blinking away tears, Maura nodded, again. "I understand. I miss my best friend, but I know I can't, realistically, expect our relationship to return to its prior status, if it can be repaired at all. I'll let you get back to work. Thank you, Vince. You're the only one who hasn't reacted negatively to my return."

He just shrugged. "I'm not a young man, anymore. I've seen enough to know that if you spend too much time dwelling on the past, you don't have time to just enjoy life. I'm too old not to enjoy the life I have left."

Smiling gratefully, she walked with him to her office door. "You should have plenty of years, yet, to enjoy. Thank you, Vince."

Nodding, he left. Maura sighed and went to sit behind her desk. Opening a document, she added a new heading 'Vince's Observations.' Typing out several notes from their conversation, she read back over the several pages of information she'd already compiled. Shaking her head, she saved the changes and stared at her blank desktop. "I wish I could believe you were right, Vince, but the evidence just doesn't support it."

* * *

**A/N: Maura's back. That doesn't mean everything will be magically fixed, though.**

**A/N2: I want this story to be a way to bring attention a topic that is usually glossed over as 'too sensitive,' 'too painful,' or 'too shameful' to be talked about. Too often, victims and survivor's of domestic violence and sexual assault are made to feel guilty or alienated because of what they've been forced to endure. Escaping domestic violence is NOT as simple as the victim leaving. There is a deeply psychological component that extends far beyond the physical abuse.**

**Explaining the signs of domestic violence would take pages and pages, and would still not touch on everything. If you want more information, then here are some sites you can visit (remember to remove the spaces once you copy/paste):**

**National Domestic Violence Hotline Web Site: **http : / / www . thehotline . org /  
**Domestic Violence Services: **http : / / www . domesticviolenceservices . com /  
**Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network: **http : / / www . rainn . org /  
**National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **http : / / www . loveisrespect . org /

**For victims and survivors who needs someone to talk to, here are some hotline (if someone wants to send me info on hotlines outside of the US, feel free, and I'll include them in the future):**

**Rape and Sexual Assault: **1-800-656-4673  
**Domestic Violence Hopeline: **1-800-621-HOPE (4673)  
**National Domestic Violence Hotline: **1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY 1-800-787-3224  
**Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **1-866-331-9474 TTY 1-866-331-8453

**International Numbers for Domestic Violence Information and Services:  
Australia **- 1800 811 811  
**USA** - 1800 799 7233  
**UK** - 0808 2000 247  
**Canada** - 1800 363 9010  
**NZ** - 0508 744 633


	6. Chapter 6

**Several people have asked me update 'soon,' so I thought it only fair that I let you know what my update schedule is. I plan to update every Friday, barring complications. At that rate, I'll use up the chapters I've already written, in about three months, and will have plenty more written and ready to post. I even have finished, by then, and be able to tell you how long this will be.**

* * *

The next day, Maura decided it was time to start trying to approach Jane. She started little. Stopping on the way to work, she got everyone coffee. Making the trip up to the squad room, she smiled and addressed Jane directly when she placed her coffee in front of her. Getting a nod and 'thanks' in return caused her smile to grow.

Over the next few weeks, Maura pressed a little bit at a time. She started calling Jane when she got results she knew the detective was waiting on, instead of having them relayed. At scenes, she spoke to Jane and did her best to answer all of her questions and verbalized thoughts. She brought coffee upstairs more often.

The one occasion she provided lunch, just made her worry more. Jane barely picked at her food while everyone else ate, which prompted teasing from Frost and Korsak on her change in appetite. When she questioned it, Jane hid behind her hair while they explained her past tendency to eat twice as much and snack all day. While they kept teasing Jane, Maura noticed that she didn't start to really eat until everyone else was done, and then ate quickly and meticulously cleaned up all evidence of her meal, even wiping her desk with a napkin to clean up any crumbs.

They slowly built up to a new level of casual, if superficial, comfort. It was almost two months before Jane started viewing autopsies, again. It was more than a month, after that, before she started visiting the morgue without needing Korsak or Frost there as a buffer. A few weeks later, Jane laughed at a joke Maura hadn't even realized she'd made, and they shared a smile.

After a few weeks of sharing casual conversations at work, Maura invited Jane out to lunch. Looking almost terrified, she declined. Over the the next couple weeks, Maura kept offering, until Jane finally agreed.

* * *

Meeting at a small diner, they sat in awkward silence until the waitress came to take their order. Surprised when Jane only ordered a salad and glass of water, she chose to only comment that she was glad to see her choosing healthier meal options. Making small talk, mostly about work, they waited for their food. When it came, Jane visibly forced herself to eat slowly. More than once, Maura caught her staring at her own meal in something that looked like regret or longing.

When they finished eating, Maura stopped Jane from leaving immediately. "Jane, please stay. I know you're aware that I asked you to lunch for more than to just eat together. I owe you an explanation for my actions. More than that, though, I owe you the chance to say what you need to. I want to give you the chance. Then, when you're ready, and willing, to listen, I'll explain myself."

Sitting back down, Jane looked distinctly uncomfortable, clasping her hands in her lap and looking everywhere but at Maura. It was a couple minutes before she took a deep breath and started to talk. "I never wanted to shoot him. I didn't even know he'd be there, or how he knew to be there. I tried to make the shot as non-lethal as possible, but the angle just wasn't right. After he shot Gabriel, I couldn't just let him go. He shot a federal agent, in front of cops. My career would've been over. Frost's career would've been over. Hell, we both could've ended up in federal prison for interfering in an investigation. If I could've thought of any other way, I would have. Even after spending months trying, I could never come up with an option that would've ended better."

Thinking for a moment, Maura nodded. "I understand that, now. It took me time to get over the initial pain and anger and be able to start to analyze things logically. When I was, I realized that the chances of there being an outcome that was favorable for everyone, were very remote. Given the circumstances, that was probably the best possible outcome, even if it wasn't the most desirable."

Closing her eyes, Jane slumped in her seat with a sigh. "Why didn't you let me explain? Apologize? And then you just left, without a word to anyone."

Maura focused on her hands, laying them flat against the surface of the table. "In the beginning, it was anger and pain. Even after I was able to think things through more logically, I was still hurt and angry. I left to try to get some distance from the situation, and the emotions. I hoped that time would help me rationalize things."

Snorting, Jane followed Maura's gaze, watching her fidget with her ring before consciously stilling her hands. "That doesn't explain why you were gone for so long. It didn't take you a year and a half to realize that when a member of organized crime shoots a federal agent, in front of cops, the likely outcome is him getting shot. I know you better than that."

Looking guilty, Maura sighed and finally looked up at Jane. "I was afraid. I didn't know how to come back, not after the way I left. I didn't think any of you would want me to come back. Then, I convinced myself that what I was doing was important, and I couldn't just stop."

Nodding, Jane started picking a napkin apart, piling the pieces in front of her. "What changed? What made you decide to come back?"

Resisting the urge to still Jane's hands, Maura smoothed her own over her lap, before returning them to the table. "Well, I'd already visited all the medical examiner's offices I planned to. There were a few I didn't visit, but they're ones in small towns that always refer suspicious deaths to a larger, better equipped, facility. When they handle, almost exclusively, natural deaths and accidents, I saw no reason to take the time to teach them procedures they will never use. Many of them have to send any samples to another facility for testing, anyway."

Rolling her eyes, Jane gave her an impatient look. "I know it's been awhile, but I can still recognize when you're avoiding a question. You always start giving way too detailed explanations, like you're hoping all the extra information will distract me."

Maura grimaced, fidgeting again. "I'm sorry. You deserve honest answers, and I'm not being fair to you by not giving them." Closing her eyes, she sighed. "I got a letter. Well, two letters. They were sitting on my kitchen counter when I got back from a rotation. Apparently, they were to be delivered to me upon, his, death. The first one was about my mother. He told me her name, why she gave me up, and what she was like. The second letter was him explaining why he kept track of me. How he knew he couldn't be a part of my life, but he wanted to make sure I was still safe and happy."

Starting, Jane looked at her closer, noticing a faint glint in Maura's eyes. "You said 'was like.' What happened to her?"

Blinking several times, Maura took a deep breath and met her eyes. "She died a few years ago, in a car accident. It was right after an ice storm. Her car hit a patch of ice and went over a guard rail. She died on impact."

Gasping, Jane covered her mouth in shock. "You didn't. I mean, she wasn't."

Maura shook her head quickly. "No, I didn't perform her autopsy. The accident didn't happen in Boston, so it fell to another medical examiner's office."

Hesitating, Jane watched her for a moment. "Do you want to tell me about her? You don't have to, of course. I'll understand if it's too painful, or personal."

Smiling faintly, she nodded. "I think I'd like that. I haven't had anyone I could talk to her about." Digging through her purse, she pulled a picture out of her wallet, sliding it across for Jane to look at. "He gave me some pictures of her. That was taken right after I was born. There are others, but that's the only one I have with me. She worked for my parents, as a maid, when she got pregnant. That's how they ended up adopting me, and how he was able to keep track of me. She wanted to go to college, but couldn't afford it, so she studied on her own and took classes at libraries and community centers. She was an artist. Her drawings are beautiful. He said she painted, too, but he only had drawings to give me. She preferred drawing portraits, but she also did landscapes. They're very life-like."

Sliding the picture back over, Jane smiled at her. "You look a lot like her. She had darker hair, but the face is the same. Did she have any other kids, or a family, you could contact?"

Putting the picture away, Maura nodded, then shook her head. "She had another daughter, I'm not sure about other family. I won't be contacting her, though. She's a student at BCU. She has a different father, my mother married a few years after my birth, and she doesn't know anything about me or, him. I won't risk putting her in danger. She doesn't need her entirely life turned upside down, not by me. I have done what I can, discretely, to make sure her education is paid for."

Watching her, Jane started shredding another napkin, adding to the pile. Looking around, she lowered her voice. "You know, with him dead, there shouldn't be any danger. You can't be used to get to him, anymore."

Shaking her head, Maura waited until a passing customer was out of earshot before responding. "No, but he had enemies that might not see his death as enough. Like after a coup, they may wish to make sure there is no one left to carry on his line, or continue his work."

Arching a brow, Jane gave her an incredulous look. "Would anyone REALLY believe you would be interested in taking over his job?"

Maura just shrugged. "It's a possibility he warned me about, so it must have some validity." Checking for eavesdroppers, she lowered her voice. "After all, who better to cover up murders, or know how to commit them, than a medical examiner?"

Looking at her for a moment, Jane finally shook her head. "Ok, you have a point." When her phone made noise, she jumped and grabbed for it quickly. Seeing who it was, she visibly relaxed. "It's Frost. He's wondering where I am. I need to get back. It was nice having lunch with you."

Standing with Jane, Maura smiled. "Yes, it was. Thank you for agreeing to come with me. Maybe we can have dinner, or a movie night, sometime." When Jane visibly flinched, she started backtracking. "If it's not too soon. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I understand if you're not ready for that, yet. You can let me know when you're ready."

Forcing herself to relax, Jane nodded. "Yeah, that might be best, for now. We can still have lunch, sometimes."

Giving her a small smile, Maura nodded back. "Yes, I would like that. Why don't you let me know when you want to have lunch together, again? I know it will take time and work for us to rebuild our friendship, but I hope that we can. I missed you."

Holding the door open, Jane smiled while Maura passed her. "I'd like that. I missed you, too."

* * *

When Jane got home that evening, she flinched when Gabriel glared as soon as she walked through the door. Handing over her things in silence, she stood and waited while he walked away, stopping and placing them on the kitchen counter. It didn't take long for him to be standing back in front of her and start yelling. "What possible reason could you have to be so happy? Since I know it's not because you're glad to see me, you ungrateful whore, then it must be for someone else. I spend all day trapped here, waiting for you to get home, and you have the nerve to come in grinning like an idiot over someone else? What? Did you let a suspect fuck you to get out of being interrogated? Pick up a crackhead on your lunch break? How dare you cheat on me after everything I've done for you. Do I need to remind you that I gave up EVERYTHING just to be with your worthless ass? Well? I expect you to answer me when I ask you a question. Who did you let fuck you, you worthless whore?"

Cowering, she stared at the floor, stopping herself before starting to shake her head. "I didn't. I promise. I'd never cheat on you. I know you gave up everything for me. I was just happy. I had lunch with Maura, and we talked. I promise, it wasn't anything else."

Backhanding her across the face, he grabbed a handful of hair and dragged her face to his. "After that slut's father ruined my life, you have the NERVE to eat lunch with her? Don't you EVER think about me? Did you think I'd be HAPPY about that? I don't want you having anything to do with her. Do you hear me? I don't want you seeing her, speaking to her, or spending any time with her unless it involves a case. I do NOT want to find out that you disobeyed me. Are we clear?"

Nodding as much as possible, when her hair was still held in his fist, Jane swallowed back a whimper of pain when he pulled sharply. "Good. Now, go shower, and you better not take too long. This subject isn't over, but I can't stand the smell of you."

Nodding again, silently, she went through her ritual of stripping and heading for the shower. Not bothering to turn on any hot water, she showered as quickly as possible under the icy spray. Doing her hair and make-up, she watched with panicked eyes when he met her at the doorway holding her handcuffs. Swallowing and blinking back tears, she followed him silently.

Closing her eyes tightly, she tried to ignore everything as he bound her to the bed. Biting her tongue to keep from whimpering, she tried to hold as still as possible as he beat her. When he finally stopped, she stayed still and silent, trying to calm her pained breaths.

Her eyes flew open when her hair was suddenly yanked. When her mouth opened as her head was forced backward, a rolled tie was stuffed into it. Another tie was quickly tied around her head, gagging her. Staring at her in contempt, Gabriel nodded. "Since you're too worthless to even make my dinner, I have to order take out. If I hear ANY noise out of you, you'll regret it."

When he finally left the room, Jane let herself cry. It was dark when she woke to the feel of him using her body. Crying behind the gag, her body sagged in resignation.

* * *

**A/N: I want this story to be a way to bring attention a topic that is usually glossed over as 'too sensitive,' 'too painful,' or 'too shameful' to be talked about. Too often, victims and survivor's of domestic violence and sexual assault are made to feel guilty or alienated because of what they've been forced to endure. Escaping domestic violence is NOT as simple as the victim leaving. There is a deeply psychological component that extends far beyond the physical abuse.**

**Explaining the signs of domestic violence would take pages and pages, and would still not touch on everything. If you want more information, then here are some sites you can visit (remember to remove the spaces once you copy/paste):**

**National Domestic Violence Hotline Web Site: **http : / / www . thehotline . org /**  
Domestic Violence Services: **http : / / www . domesticviolenceservices . com /**  
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network: **http : / / www . rainn . org /**  
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **http : / / www . loveisrespect . org /

**For victims and survivors who needs someone to talk to, here are some hotline (if someone wants to send me info on hotlines outside of the US, feel free, and I'll include them in the future):**

**Rape and Sexual Assault: **1-800-656-4673**  
Domestic Violence Hopeline: **1-800-621-HOPE (4673)**  
National Domestic Violence Hotline: **1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY 1-800-787-3224**  
Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **1-866-331-9474 TTY 1-866-331-8453

**International Numbers for Domestic Violence Information and Services:  
Australia - **1800 811 811**  
USA - **1800 799 7233**  
UK - **0808 2000 247**  
Canada - **1800 363 9010**  
NZ - **0508 744 633


	7. Chapter 7

Jane walked very carefully, one arm held across her middle, when she entered the station, the next morning. Walking into the squad room, she almost turned around when she saw Maura there. Pasting a smile on her face, she dropped her arm to her side and tried to walk as normally as possible. When she was unable to prevent a wince and sharp intake of breath when she sat, Maura darted over.

Reaching toward Jane's shirt, Maura pulled her hands back at the last moment. "Are you ok? You look like you're in pain. From the way you're holding yourself, I'd say that you have at least one rib that is at least bruised. What happened?"

Waving a hand, Jane glared and scooted her chair closer to her desk. "I'm fine. A few bruises, but my ribs are fine. I just took a few hits during kickboxing, last night. Now, leave me alone so I can work."

Pulling back with a pained look, Maura was shocked to see Frost and Korsak share an amused look.

Chuckling, Frost leaned forward in his chair. "Same guy as last time? Maybe you should stop sparring with him."

Looking back and forth in confusion, Maura missed Jane's faint flinch. "Yeah, same guy, but he doesn't always land any hits."

Shaking her head, Maura turned to Frost. "What guy? And what happened last time?"

Giving a small shrug, he chuckled. "Jane's sparring partner. Last time, she came in with a split lip and a bruised jaw. She managed to slip and get her head in the way of his foot. I still think the lip should've had stitches."

Turning back toward Jane, she tilted her head and studied her, then nodded. "Yes, it's faint, but there is a small scar. Most likely, the cut should've been stitched, to minimize scarring and aid with healing. Didn't you have a doctor look at it?"

Korsak snorted. "Yeah, Doctor Love. She had Dean to take care of her all night. Bet she likes his brand of medicine better than the hospital."

Seeing Jane wince, again, when she leaned down to turn on her computer, Maura frowned. "Did you at least have your ribs looked at? Injured ribs take a long time to heal, and are very painful. Fractures can progress into breaks, if not properly wrapped, and a broken rib can rupture internal organs. If they haven't been x-rayed, then they really should be. If you don't want to go to the hospital, then I do have the proper equipment, downstairs."

Pushing away from her desk, Jane shook her head and stood, closing her eyes against the pain the action caused. "No, I will not be lying on the dead people table so you can use the dead people x-ray on me. I'll go to the ER over lunch. Happy?"

Studying her, Maura nodded. "Yes, but only if you let me drive you. If your ribs are fractured, then you really shouldn't be driving, at least not until they're properly wrapped."

Eyes wide, Jane looked around almost frantically, before taking a deep breath and nodding. "Fine. Whatever. Come up at lunch, and I'll let you drive me."

Giving her a small smile, Maura nodded. "Good. Now, you should sit back down, and try to limit your upper-torso movements as much as possible. It will lessen the pain, and any potential for worsening the damage."

Rolling her eyes, Jane eased herself back into her chair. "Happy, now? I'm sitting. Now, if I'm going to be spending several hours getting an x-ray I don't need, you need to let me work."

* * *

Only an hour later, Jane stood carefully, grabbing her things and walking toward the elevator. When she ignored the questions from Frost and Korsak, they shared a knowing a look.

* * *

Maura exited the elevators two hours later, and looked around in confusion when she didn't see Jane at her desk. Finding Korsak the only one there, she turned to him. "Where's Jane?"

Looking up in surprise, he shrugged. "I don't know. She left a couple hours ago. We thought she'd finally given in and decided to have you drive her to the ER, early. She didn't go down to the morgue?"

Shaking her head, she sighed. "No, she didn't. I hope she at least took herself to the hospital. Maybe it was too early to expect her to be comfortable letting me take her, but I thought she would allow at least that much after our lunch, yesterday. Will you let me know when she gets back?"

At Korsak's nod, she sighed again and left.

* * *

It was another hour and a half before Jane came back. Holding herself stiffly, she at least wasn't wincing. Seeing the accusatory looks from Korsak and Frost, she groaned and carefully sat.

Giving Frost a small nod, Korsak wheeled his chair closer, drawing her attention while Frost texted quickly under his desk. "So, the Doc was up here looking for you. Did you get your x-rays?"

Rolling her eyes, she glared at both of them. "Yes, and I'm fine. Just a couple bruised ribs, like I told you. I didn't want to have to deal with Maura asking a bunch of questions and insisting on seeing the x-rays, so I took myself. I did what everyone wanted, why does it matter how I got there?"

When the elevator opened and Maura strode out, Jane glared at Frost, then turned to glare at Korsak. "Really, you tattled on me? Are you three?"

Stopping in front of her desk, Maura looked at her closer, waiting in silence. Sighing, Jane closed her eyes for a moment. "Yes, I left without you on purpose. Yes, I went to the hospital. No, nothing's fractured or broken. No, I can't give you more details than that, because I don't remember them. Does that answer all your questions?"

Waiting a moment, Maura finally nodded. "Yes, I believe it covers the important points. I assume the doctor suggested resting as much as possible, limiting physical activity, and taking mild pain killers. Am I right?"

Rolling her eyes, Jane nodded. "Yes, Dr. Isles, you are correct. Now, can you leave me alone? Thanks to that useless trip, I'm behind on my work."

Frost and Korsak gave Maura sympathetic looks. Their glares at Jane were ignored.

* * *

Stopping in the restroom before heading home, Jane made sure it was empty before locking the door. Removing her shirt, she carefully unwrapped her ribs, throwing the wrap in the trash, and then redressed. Unlocking the door, she walked carefully as she made her way to the parking garage.

Exiting the stairs, Maura stared after her retreating form.

* * *

**A/N: I want this story to be a way to bring attention a topic that is usually glossed over as 'too sensitive,' 'too painful,' or 'too shameful' to be talked about. Too often, victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault are made to feel guilty or alienated because of what they've been forced to endure. Escaping domestic violence is NOT as simple as the victim leaving. There is a deeply psychological component that extends far beyond the physical abuse.**

**Explaining the signs of domestic violence would take pages and pages, and would still not touch on everything. If you want more information, then here are some sites you can visit (remember to remove the spaces once you copy/paste):**

**National Domestic Violence Hotline Web Site: **http : / / www . thehotline . org /**  
Domestic Violence Services: **http : / / www . domesticviolenceservices . com /**  
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network: **http : / / www . rainn . org /**  
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **http : / / www . loveisrespect . org /

**For victims and survivors who needs someone to talk to, here are some hotlines (if someone wants to send me info on hotlines outside of the US, feel free, and I'll include them in the future):**

**Rape and Sexual Assault: **1-800-656-4673**  
Domestic Violence Hopeline: **1-800-621-HOPE (4673)**  
National Domestic Violence Hotline: **1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY 1-800-787-3224**  
Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **1-866-331-9474 TTY 1-866-331-8453

**International Numbers for Domestic Violence Information and Services:  
Australia - **1800 811 811**  
USA - **1800 799 7233**  
UK - **0808 2000 247**  
Canada - **1800 363 9010**  
NZ - **0508 744 633

**France - **3919


	8. Chapter 8

A half hour later, Maura pulled up outside of Jane's apartment building. Looking up at the windows and not seeing anything, she took a deep breath before getting out of her car. Entering the building, she waited for the elevator. Not hearing anything on Jane's floor, she knocked carefully on her door. Getting no answer, she unlocked and opened the door quietly, grateful she'd never returned her key.

Hearing yelling, she started toward the hallway. When the words became clear, she broke into a run. Noticing the doorknob missing from the bedroom door, she didn't bother slowing down as she got to it.

Bursting into the room, she covered her mouth in shock and choked back a sob. Jane was naked, her hands handcuffed to the headboard, her feet spread and tied to the footboard. A makeshift gag was fastened over her mouth. Gabriel Dean was on top of her, pants shoved down around his knees.

He was so focused on thrusting into Jane's unresisting body and yelling insults at her, that he didn't even notice the door flying open. Looking around for anything to use as a weapon, and not seeing anything, Maura swung her purse so it connected with the side of his head. Knocking him slightly off balance, she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and yanked him backward.

Falling onto his back on the floor, he looked up at her in shock and anger, getting frantically to his feet, yanking his pants back up. "You fucking BITCH! How DARE you come into my home and attack me. After what you FATHER did to me? Get the FUCK out."

Swinging her purse again, she let go when he grabbed it, letting him stumble from the sudden lack of resistance. When he threw it to the side, she punched him quickly in the face, vaguely recalling Jane's aborted self-defense lessons and silently thanking her. He swung, wildly, his fist connected with the side of her head and sending her stumbling into the wall.

When he approached her from behind, she kicked out, blindly. Hearing him scream, she turned to find him clutching his crotch, blood dripping between his fingers. Advancing on him, she let him go when he turned to stumble from the room.

Slamming the door and looking for something to block it with, Maura finally just braced herself as much as possible and started shoving the dresser across the floor. Once it was completely blocking the door, she turned back to the bed.

Taking a split second deciding where to start, she started untying Jane's ankles. As soon as her legs were free, she curled in on herself. Moving carefully and slowly up the bed, she caught Jane's eye then reached for the gag. Removing it, she pulled the edge of the blanket up to cover her before kneeling next to the bed. "Jane, do you know where the keys to the handcuffs are?"

When Jane shook her head, Maura stood. Yanking the drawers out of both night stands, she dumped them out on the floor and searched through the mess. Not finding them, she turned to the dresser. Seeing her purse tossed against the wall, she went for it, instead.

Dumping it out, she grabbed her phone and dialed a number with shaky hands. She didn't realize she was crying until she let out a sob when Korsak's voice answered. Ignoring his panicked questions, she took a deep breath and forced herself to speak. "I'm at Jane's. You need to get here, now. I found Dean. He was. You need to get here. I pushed the dresser in front of the door, but I think he's still out there. Just. Just get here as soon as possible. I don't know if he's armed. And I can't find the keys to the cuffs. You should call Barry. I don't think I can. Vince, please hurry."

Dropping her phone without even hanging up, she started yanking open dresser drawers and digging through them. Not finding the key, Maura went back to kneeling next to the bed. Keeping her eyes on Jane's face, she stopped herself before she reached out.

Listening carefully for any noise from the rest of the apartment, she watched Jane cry and twitch in pain. Finally, she laid her hand on the bed next to Jane's head. "I'm not going to touch you, but I need to ask you some questions. Can you answer them for me?"

Jane's eyes opened, but she didn't acknowledge the question. Sighing, Maura shifted, before standing and heading toward the closet. Coming back with a soft blanket, she laid it over Jane, covering her completely, and gently eased the comforter out from under it. Kneeling back down, she nodded. "It's ok. You don't have to answer anything you don't want to, but I still need to ask. He's the one who hurt you, last night, isn't he? It wasn't the first time, was it?"

Getting only more tears in response, Maura took a shaky breath and nodded. "I thought so. At least, I suspected. If I'd had anything but suspicions, I would've done something sooner, and come better prepared. I am so sorry. Is there anything I can do, right now? Anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable, or safer?"

When Jane shook her head slightly, she sighed and slumped against the bed. "I didn't think so, but I hoped. Where's your service weapon? Does he have access to it, out there?"

Closing her eyes in relief when Jane shook her head, again, Maura nodded. "Good. That means we're safer, and Vince won't be faced by a gunman. Where is it?"

Not getting an answer, she gave a small nod. "It's ok. I can stick to yes or no questions if you don't want to talk. You don't have to talk. I hope Vince gets here soon. I know you probably don't want anyone else to see you like this, but he'll be able to unlock the cuffs. I'll have him call an ambulance, after you're free. I wish there was something I could do. I know how much you must hate having your hands trapped. Don't worry, we'll make sure he's never able to hurt you, again."

Hearing squealing tires, followed by a slamming door, Maura ran to the window. Seeing Korsak's car parked in the middle of the street, she sobbed in relief. When Frost's pulled up, a moment later, she almost collapsed, catching herself against the wall. Turning back to the bed, she gave a faint smile. "Vince and Barry are here. It'll be ok, now."

When Jane started frantically shaking her head, crying harder, Maura hurried to kneel next to her. Putting her hand out, she hesitated. "I'm just going to touch your hair, ok? I'm not going to hurt you. Is it ok if I touch you?" Letting out a small sigh when Jane gave a tiny nod, she carefully started smoothing her hair away from her face. "It's ok. They'll take care of Gabriel. I'll need to let them in here, but I'll make sure I'm the only one that touches you, ok? You're covered, so they can't see anything. You'll be ok, now. I promise."

Hearing yelling from the other side of the door, Jane flinched and Maura's eyes focused on the door. It was a couple minutes before there was a gentle knock. Smoothing Jane's hair, again, she stood. Realizing the dresser was still in the way, she called out. "It's ok. We're safe. You'll have to give me time to move the dresser. Vince, I need you and Barry to promise me you'll do what I say."

Bracing herself, she started moving the dresser while she waited. The door was half unblocked when she heard them both promise. Closing her eyes, she sighed, then kept moving the dresser.

When the door was clear, she opened it a crack and stood so they couldn't see into the room. Korsak was standing on the other side of the door and Frost was standing next to Dean's handcuffed form at the end of the hall. "Ok, I need you to try to stay calm. Don't yell, and don't move beyond the doorway unless I tell you to. Vince, I need you to give me your handcuff key. Barry, I need you to call an ambulance. Ask them to make sure there's a female EMT, even if it means taking longer to get here. Now, I'm going to open the door, and I need you to stay calm, and not rush into the room."

Getting a nod from them both, she held out her hand for the key, then slowly opened the door. Seeing Korsak's jaw clench and both hands fist against his legs, Maura sighed and nodded when he didn't try to move any closer. When Frost started down the hallway, she shook her head and waited until he stopped and turned back to Dean, pulling out his phone.

Satisfied they would both listen, she turned back to Jane. Walking slowly, she made her way to the bed, kneeling carefully next to her head. Meeting Jane's eyes, Maura held up the key and nodded toward the cuffs. Getting a grateful look in response, she leaned over Jane and quickly unlocked one cuff, letting Jane lower her arms, before getting the other one undone.

Looking at the cuffs in her hand, she turned back to Korsak. "If you have an evidence bag, we should probably bag these. Have Barry see if he has the key on him."

When he dug an evidence bag out of his pocket, Maura nodded, glanced at Jane, then walked over to drop the cuffs inside it. While he sealed it, she looked down the hallway to see Frost digging, roughly, through Dean's clothes. Noticing a red stain underneath him, she looked down at her heels with a grimace. Shrugging, she looked back up at Korsak. "I guess you should probably call an ambulance for him, too. It looks like my heel did more damage than I thought. If you have another evidence bag, that's big enough, then I should probably bag at least my right heel, if not both."

Seeing the blood smeared up the length of the heel of one three inch stiletto, Korsak cringed, then looked back to Dean laying on his stomach in the middle of the floor. Looking back at Maura's shoes, he smirked humorlessly. "I hope you hit something he'll miss."

When she walked back to kneel beside the bed, Korsak was surprised by the level of hatred in her voice. "So do I, but it still won't be enough."

Clearing his throat, he waited until Maura turned to look at him. Nodding down the hallway, he shrugged. "What are we charging him with? I haven't read him his rights, and I doubt Frost has bothered to."

Glancing back at Jane, her eyes were hard when she looked up at him. "Start with rape and two counts of assault, and see what you can add, from there."

Starting in surprise, he stared at her. "Two? He attacked you?"

Not looking away from Jane, she gave a dismissive wave. "Yes, when I, interrupted, him. That's why he's bleeding. Well, no, he'd probably be bleeding, anyway. In this case, though, it was self defense. Jane taught me, or at least was starting to, before everything happened."

Watching them, Korsak nodded. "I'm going to shut the door, at least part way. I'll leave Frost up here with, him. I'm going to call to see how long till the bus gets here, and make sure Jane gets the right one. You'll go with her, right?"

Giving him a small smile in thanks, Maura nodded. "Yes. You can take my statement at the hospital. And, Vince, I think we both know Jane would prefer as few people know about this, as possible, at least for now. No one else needs to see her, until she's ready."

Nodding, he pulled out his phone before taking a couple steps into the room, just enough so he was in Jane's line of sight. "Don't worry, Janie, we'll do our best to keep this quiet. So far, nothing's gone through dispatch. Either Frost or I will take both your statements. We'll keep this to as few people, as possible, for as long as possible." Not getting any response, he looked at Maura in concern. "Is she going to be ok? I mean. I'm not sure what I mean. I've never seen Janie just not react to anything."

Smoothing a hand over Jane's hair, Maura looked at her sadly. "She'll survive, but 'ok' is relative. As far as I can tell, none of her injuries will cause permanent damage. Right now, she's traumatized. She's retreated into herself to help cope with what's happening. I told her, earlier, that she doesn't have to talk or answer any questions she doesn't want to. So far, that's meant nodding or shaking her head. She's not in shock, if that's what you're worried about. For now, she's doing what she needs to in order to handle everything."

When they heard knocking, all three looked toward the front door. Hand darting to his gun, Korsak shook his head at Frost and started down the hallway. Getting up to look out the window, Maura sighed in relief, calling out. "It's ok, Vince, it's just the EMT's. You should probably Mirandize him before you let them in. If they're here for Jane, warn them to approach slowly and quietly."

Korsak started to read Dean his rights, and list of charges, including assaulting an office. Frost stopped in the doorway, looking at the women and wiping away tears. "Jane, I'm so sorry. Maura thought there was something wrong, as soon as she got back, but I told her she was wrong. I'm sorry for not realizing what was going on. We'll make sure he never hurts you, again. I promise. No matter what."

Hearing Korsak open the door and apologize for taking so long, Frost nodded and walked back down the hallway. When the EMT's tried to stop to help Dean, Korsak directed them down the hallway. Jane flinched when she heard him use the phrase 'rape victim,' and Maura's eyes started to tear as she kept smoothing a hand over her hair.

When the EMT's entered the room, Maura smiled at them. Nodding at the man, she gave him an apologetic look. "I'm sure you'll understand when I ask you not to come any closer than needed. My name is Doctor Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner. This is Detective Jane Rizzoli. She's probably not going to be able to leave under her own power, so you'll need to bring the gurney up. I can either apprise you of what injuries I know of, now, or tell your partner while you get the gurney. Whichever way will be most convenient and help you treat her most effectively."

Blinking, he nodded. "Hello, Doctor, Detective. My name's John, and I'll just stay over here. Carla can do all the hands on work. If you tell me what her injuries are, I can get anything we'll need while I get the gurney."

Feeling Jane relax slightly under her hand, Maura smiled at her before looking back at the EMT's. "Thank you. I'm not sure how extensive her injuries are, but I don't think any of them are an immediate danger. I know she suffered trauma to her ribs, last night, but she claimed they were bruised. I suspect one, or more, was at least fractured. From what I saw, when I arrived, fractured or broken ribs are almost a certainty. She's responsive, so I don't think there's any risk of head injury. Aside from the injured ribs, there just seems to be the obvious injuries associated with the, assault. Oh, and you will NOT restrain her. Her hands and feet are to be free to move, at all times. I found her feet tied to the bed and hands handcuffed to the headboard. She's not going to feel that helpless, again. She's been through enough."

Nodding, John looked at Carla, then left. Walking slowly, Carla carried the bag over and set it next to Maura. Placing a hand on Maura's shoulder, she gave her a moment to blink away her tears. Smiling when Maura was more composed, Carla turned to Jane. "You have a very good friend. Now, I know you probably really do not want to deal with anyone right now, but I need to ask you some questions. If possible, I need you to answer them. You don't need to speak if you don't have to."

Getting a small nod of acknowledgment, Carla smiled. "Ok, is the doctor right in assuming your ribs are at least fractured?" Getting a nod, she started making notes on a chart. "Ok, just fractured? Not broken?" Another nod. "How many?" Not answering for a moment, Jane finally silently mouthed 'two.' "Two? Ok, right side?" A head shake. "Ok, two fractured ribs on your left side."

Tapping Carla's arm to get her attention, Maura looked toward the hallway. "Her, assailant, only has one good arm. Most, if not all, of her injuries will be focused on her left side."

Making a quick note off to the side, Carla nodded. "Thanks. That helps narrow down the questions, a bit." Looking back up at Jane, she smiled when she found her watching. "Does it hurt anywhere else?" Seeing Jane's blank look, she nodded sadly. "Right, you probably hurt just about everywhere, right now. Do you have any drug allergies?" Getting a head shake, she nodded. "Good, then we should be able to get you started on something for the pain. Is it ok if I lift the blanket, just to take a look? I won't touch you without asking, first."

Wide, panicked eyes found Maura's and she shook her head. Nodding, Maura smoothed her hair and turned to Carla. Seeing an understanding smile and nod, both women relaxed. Holding up a stethoscope, Carla gave Jane a questioning look. "Is it ok if I at least take your vitals? I can do it without moving the blanket, as much as possible. I can even close the door. John should be back, soon, but he'll know to wait in the hall."

Several moments of silence passed before Jane gave a small nod. Nodding back, Carla got up to close the door, coming back to let her hand rest, palm up, on the mattress. "I'll just start with your pulse, that should be pretty painless." When Jane shook her head, slowly snaking one hand out from under the blanket to show her bruised and bloody wrist, Carla winced in sympathy. "Ok, then how about I use your neck? Would that work?" Nodding, Jane pulled the blanket down enough to uncover her neck and let her head tilt back. Taking her pulse and quickly writing it down, she nodded in thanks. "Ok, what about listening to your heart and lungs? You don't have to move, yet. I need to get to your back to check your lungs, anyway. I will need to put my hand underneath the blanket, though. I won't look, but I will have to touch you." Glancing at Maura, Jane closed her eyes and nodded.

Reaching over Jane, Carla carefully slipped her hand under the blanket. Waiting until Jane relaxed, she had her breathe deeply while she checked both lungs. "Sounds good. Your ribs aren't effecting your breathing, which is good. Now, I need to listen to your heart. I'll need you to move your arm a bit, and maybe stretch out just a little. My hand needs to be under the blanket for this, too." Getting another panicked look, she waited. Jane shook her head, a moment later, and Carla sighed. "It's ok. They just like to have something to compare it to, when they check at the hospital. John should have what we need to get you started on something for the pain, when he gets back. For that, I will need to put an IV in your arm. Will that be ok? It'll get you started on some fluids and pain meds. Nothing too strong, since they'll need you awake at the hospital."

Getting up, Carla opened the door, smiling when she found John on the other side, with the gurney. Helping him navigate it into the room, she went back to Jane. "Ok, can you stand, or will we need to lift you?" Blinking, Jane looked at Maura. Standing, she helped pull Jane to a sitting position, keeping the blanket in place. Wincing when just sitting made Jane's eyes tear, she didn't comment. Seeing that John brought a couple blankets up with him, Carla unfolded one and wrapped it around Jane's back. Together, they helped her stand. Not able to wrap an arm around her waist, they each held and elbow while Jane slowly hobbled to the gurney. Maura held the blankets in place and helped her sit and then lean back.

Waiting till Maura moved to let her pass, Carla got a saline bag, syringe, and vial from the bag John had placed on the floor. Holding up the saline bag, she gestured to Jane's arm, under the blanket. "If you can put your arm out just long enough for me to get the IV started, you can put it right back under when I'm done." Nodding, Jane slipped her arm out. Closing her eyes, she turned her head away until Carla told her she was done. Slipping her arm back under the blanket, she kept her eyes closed. "Ok, it'll take a few minutes, but the pain killers should kick in, soon."

Looking at Jane, John frowned. "I know you said not to strap her down, but we really should use at least the lap strap. The gurney has to go down the steps, out front, and I don't want to risk her getting jostled too much, or falling off."

Seeing her eyes open, Carla waited for Jane's decision. When she finally nodded, Carla reached carefully across her and fastened the buckle. "Ok, I'm going to cinch this tighter. You let me know if it's too tight, or causes any pain. If it hurts, then we'll find a different way." Watching Jane's face, she started pulling the strap tighter, when Jane winced, Carla nodded and unfastened it. "Ok, I suspected it might not work. I'm guessing your hips and thighs are pretty bruised. Tell you what, the Doctor and I will just have to walk on either side while we get you down the steps. That means that Gary, who's waiting downstairs, will have to help, though. John will be at the head, and Gary will be at the foot. Neither of them will try to touch you." Getting a nod, they started steering the gurney out of the apartment.

Surprised to see Korsak alone in the living room, Maura looked at him questioningly. "The bus already came for the bastard. I sent Frost with him. I wanted to wait." Raising an eyebrow, he smirked at Maura. "You really did a number on him, Doc. EMT's say his nose is broken, and they think your heel may have pierced something valuable. Speaking of, if you still want to bag them, I found a bigger evidence bag, in my car."

Looking down at her shoes, Maura nodded. Bending down, she quickly unbuckled them, then dropped them into the bag Korsak held for her. Taking a closer look, Carla let out a whistle. "I thought about getting a pair like that. They were $600. And you're willing to just let them go?"

Shrugging, Maura nodded to Korsak before walking back to the gurney. "Even if they weren't ruined, I'd never wear them again. As soon as we get to the hospital, I plan to see if I can get some scrubs to change into. It's irrational, but I never want to see this outfit, again."

Looking back to the bagged shoes, Carla shook her head. "What did you do to ruin them? He said something about piercing something?"

Shrugging again, Maura waited while the gurney went through the doorway, then moved to walk beside it. "From the angle of my kick, and the sound he made, I'd guess that the heel pierced either his inner thigh, or possibly his scrotum."

Ignoring John's wince, Carla gave a humorless chuckle. "Good aim. Sounds like the least he deserves."

The rest of the trip downstairs and into the waiting ambulance, was made in silence. Jane kept a wary eye on Gary while he helped get the gurney down the steps. When John tried to sit next to the doors, Carla noticed Jane's frightened look and suggested he sit up front, instead. Nodding, he let the women have the back, closing the doors after Maura climbed in.

* * *

**A/N: I know how painful that was to read, and I'm sorry. I was shaking while I wrote it, and cried every time I reread or edited it. I needed to leave the chapter on a slightly less traumatizing note, which is why it's longer and includes so much of the EMT's. Hopefully, it helps dial back all the intense emotions to a more bearable level.**

**I promise, the worst of Jane's ordeal is over. I can't promise it'll get better, but she has lived through the worst of it.**

**A/N: I want this story to be a way to bring attention a topic that is usually glossed over as 'too sensitive,' 'too painful,' or 'too shameful' to be talked about. Too often, victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault are made to feel guilty or alienated because of what they've been forced to endure. Escaping domestic violence is NOT as simple as the victim leaving. There is a deeply psychological component that extends far beyond the physical abuse.**

**Explaining the signs of domestic violence would take pages and pages, and would still not touch on everything. If you want more information, then here are some sites you can visit (remember to remove the spaces once you copy/paste):**

**National Domestic Violence Hotline Web Site: **http : / / www . thehotline . org /**  
Domestic Violence Services: **http : / / www . domesticviolenceservices . com /**  
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network: **http : / / www . rainn . org /**  
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **http : / / www . loveisrespect . org /

**For victims and survivors who needs someone to talk to, here are some hotlines (if someone wants to send me info on hotlines outside of the US, feel free, and I'll include them in the future):**

**Rape and Sexual Assault: **1-800-656-4673**  
Domestic Violence Hopeline: **1-800-621-HOPE (4673)**  
National Domestic Violence Hotline: **1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY 1-800-787-3224**  
Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **1-866-331-9474 TTY 1-866-331-8453

**International Numbers for Domestic Violence Information and Services:  
Australia - **1800 811 811**  
USA - **1800 799 7233**  
UK - **0808 2000 247**  
Canada - **1800 363 9010**  
NZ - **0508 744 633

**France - **3919


	9. Chapter 9

When they arrived at the hospital, Maura followed the gurney into an exam room, listening vaguely as Carla relayed what she knew. Maura sat in a chair next to the bed and let her hand rest on the bed next to Jane's. When she reached out to grab it, Maura smiled and squeezed her hand gently. "Are you ok? Do you think you'll be ok when the doctor gets here? They need to do a pelvic exam, to make sure everything will heal properly."

Clenching her eyes shut, Jane took several deep breaths before giving a tiny nod. Sighing, Maura leaned against the side of the bed, staring at their joined hands. "I am so sorry I didn't get there, sooner. I saw you leaving the station, and you were walking like you were in pain. You took off the wrap the hospital put around your ribs, didn't you? You didn't want him to know you'd seen a doctor. I've suspected for awhile, but I was never sure enough to talk to you about it. I don't think you would've told me, anyway. What reason would you have, after everything that happened? Why would you talk to someone who left, the way I did?

"I talked to Barry and Vince, right after I got back, but they both thought I was seeing something that wasn't there. They told me I was just seeing the damage I caused by leaving, and I wasn't completely sure they were wrong, at least not in time. If I'd just pressed them more, made them see what I was seeing, maybe tonight wouldn't have happened. Maybe, if I'd tried harder, I could've done something, but I let them convince me I was wrong. I listened when they told me I'd been gone too long.

"I wanted to follow you when I saw you leave, but I wasn't sure I should. I wasn't sure if I was allowed that level of concern, anymore. It took me several minutes to convince myself it didn't matter, that your safety meant more than possibly ruining our friendship forever, or invading your privacy. I'm sorry it took me so long to get there. I'm sorry I had to even think about. I shouldn't have placed anything above your safety, even for a moment. If I'd gotten there sooner, then maybe you wouldn't be hurt as badly."

When Jane squeezed her hand tightly, she looked up. Using her other hand to wipe her eyes, Maura sighed and nodded. "You're right. It's that bastard's fault, and you don't need to hear me sitting here talking about it. I'm sorry. I should be helping you focus on something else. I'm just having a hard time thinking about anything else. I just keep seeing it, and you don't need to hear that. I'm sorry. I think I'll just stop talking. Will that be ok?"

Getting a nod, and seeing Jane close her eyes, Maura let her head rest against the side of the bed and stared at their joined hands.

A voice on the other side of the curtain made them both jump, then a woman peeked her head around the curtain. "Hi, I didn't mean to startle you. My name is Nurse Winters, but you can call Julie. You must be Jane." When Jane nodded, the nurse smiled and came around the curtain. "Ok, I'll be doing your pelvic exam, in a little bit. Another nurse will be joining us, in a minute. I just want to ask a couple questions and tell you a little bit about what's going to happen. Do you want your friend to stay for the questions?"

When Jane nodded again, she nodded back and saw them both relax a bit. "We'll get you some meds to take to help prevent any infections, and a Plan B pill, if you want one. Do you want one?"

Jane shook her head, and the nurse made a note on her chart. "Are you already pregnant, or on another form of birth control?"

Staring helplessly at Maura for a moment, she finally swallowed and licked her lips. The quiet, raw voice shocked Maura and she had to turn her head to hide her tears. "IUD."

Nodding and making another note, Julie set the chart down. "It says here there's a possibility of fractured or broken ribs, abrasions to your wrists and ankles, and that you were started on fluids and pain meds. That's good. It'll make everything else just a bit easier on you. You'll be taken for x-rays, in a bit. We just need to make sure everything else is taken care of, first. The other nurse should be here, any minute now, and we'll get started. Your friend will have to leave the room, but she can wait just outside. If it gets to be too much, you can tell me to stop and we'll take a break. I don't want to make you more uncomfortable than you have to be. The exam won't be entirely comfortable, or pleasant, but I'll do my best."

Sighing and trying to shift to get more comfortable, Jane nodded. Maura squeezed her hand and sat in silence while the nurse started getting things ready and organizing them on a tray. A couple minutes later, another nurse knocked quietly next to the curtain, then came in.

Nodding at the nurses, Maura stood up. Leaning down next to the bed, Maura ran a hand over Jane's hair and smiled at her. "I'll be right outside the curtain. You'll be ok. You just need to let them take care of you. Will you be ok?"

It took several moments, but Jane finally nodded. Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, Maura straightened back up and nodded to the nurses before reaching for the curtain. Turning back she tried to smile comfortingly. "I'll be waiting right outside. It's ok, now. You just let them take care of you, and focus on yourself."

Leaving before she started crying, again, Maura collapsed into the nearest chair. Leaning forward, she realized she was still barefoot. Catching the attention of a passing nurse, she asked for a set of scrubs and a bag for her clothes. When they were brought back, the nurse noticed her nervous glancing between the restroom and the room behind her, and told her she could change quickly in the exam room next door. Sighing in relief, she blinked back tears and smiled thankfully. Changing as quickly as possible, she shoved the bag with her clothes under her chair and waited.

A few minutes later, the nurse came out and let her know she could reenter. Pulling the curtain open she was surprised, and a little relieved, to see Jane sitting up wearing a hospital gown with a blanket over her lap. Looking her over, she bit back tears and walked over to sit in the chair next to the bed.

Jane's wrists were bandaged and there were bruises showing around the gauze and up her arms, many clearly old and fading. Knowing Jane was watching her, Maura forced herself not to focus on the visible injuries. Instead, she reached for Jane's hand, and they sat in silence.

Jane had finally relaxed enough to close her eyes, when Julie came back. Smiling apologetically, she shrugged slightly. "I'm sorry, but I came to get you for your x-rays. It shouldn't take long, and we'll bring you right back. You're friend can wait here."

Getting up, Maura moved out of the way while Julie got the IV and bed ready for travel, and gave Jane a comforting smile as she was wheeled past.

As soon as she was sure Jane was out of earshot, she sank back into the chair with a sob. Covering her mouth with one hand, and wrapping the other arm around her middle, she bent over, sobbing into her lap. The sobs had calmed to hiccuping breaths when she heard a sound outside the room. Wiping her eyes quickly and sitting up, she watched the curtain. A moment later, she heard Korsak's voice.

Standing and opening the curtain, she found him talking to Julie. Wiping her eyes, again, at his concerned look, she gave him a small smile. "Vince, please tell me that bastard is going to be in pain for a very long time."

Nodding, he gave an apologetic look to Julie before answering. "The doctors said that, along with the broken nose, you managed to puncture his thigh and, testicles. He's going to need minor surgery to repair it, and he's never going to be having kids, which I only see as a good thing. I went back to Jane's apartment to make sure the bedding and anything else that might be needed were photographed and bagged. It's not completely by the book, but it's more than most rape cases ever have. I plan on making sure he never has a chance to get near her, again."

Relaxing a little, Maura sighed and nodded. "I almost wish I'd done more damage, and I can't even care. I should regret wishing harm on someone, but I don't. And, I'm ok with that. Given the choice, I would've done more damage."

Following the conversation, Julie spoke up. "I assume you're talking about her rapist? You already caught him?"

Nodding grimly, Korsak pointed a thumb at Maura. "The Doc, did. She stopped him, and called me while they locked themselves in the bedroom. Found him curled up on the floor, bleeding. Seems the Doc kicked him pretty good."

Julie looked at her in confusion. "'Doc?' You're a doctor? That explains some of the notes the EMT made."

Waving a hand vaguely, before reaching out to shake Julie's hand, Maura nodded. "Yes. Dr. Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner. Jane is a homicide detective. I'm sorry for not introducing myself, earlier. I didn't even think to do so."

Shaking her hand, Julie gave her an understanding nod. "I understand. The focus is always on the patient. Sergeant Korsak said you stopped the assault?"

Maura closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath. "I found him, on her, and pulled him off. He attacked me, and I broke his nose. When he hit me, and tried to attack from behind, I kicked him. I wasn't aware I'd punctured anything until I saw the blood."

Looking at Korsak for clarification, Julie was met with a shrug and cold smile. "The Doc always wears those pointy, little heels. These ones were probably about three inches long. Looks like she managed to use all three inches. He deserved more."

Giving Maura a closer look, she nodded. "You may have saved your friend from serious injury. Her left wrist needed two stitches, where whatever was used to bind her cut into the skin."

Maura's voice was quiet, but firm, when she interrupted. "Her handcuffs. He used her own handcuffs on her."

Sighing, Julie gave another nod. "I suspected handcuffs. There was also moderate internal tearing, but nothing that required stitches. Once the x-rays get back, I'll be able to tell you the extent of that damage. From the abdominal bruising, I also want to do an ultrasound, to make sure there's no internal bleeding or organ damage."

When Maura covered her mouth to stifle a sob, and Korsak's expression hardened, Julie gave them an apologetic look. "Those are only the injuries from the recent assault. There is bruising on her arms, legs, and torso, all of varying ages. Internal scarring, and some partially healed tearing, shows that this is not the first rape, or even the second. It's hard to tell for sure, with all the swelling and recent bruising, but I don't think it was the first time she was bound, either. There looks to be faint scarring around both wrists.

"Blood tests will say for sure, but I suspect mild to moderate malnutrition, probably spanning at least a few months. The abuse was not a recent occurrence. Judging from the most recent injuries, I'd say it was escalating, though. There's no telling what kind of shape she'd be in, if you hadn't been there."

Catching Maura when she slumped against the doorway, crying, Korsak held her for a moment before leading her to the chair she'd used earlier. Rubbing circles on her back, he took a deep breath. "Hey, it's ok. You got there, and Jane'll be ok. We'll make sure that bastard never sees daylight. He'll never hurt her, again."

Wiping her eyes roughly, she looked up at him. "No, Vince, it's not ok. She's not going to be ok. At least not for a long time. For months, that bastard was beating and raping her. He used her OWN handcuffs on her. On JANE! Do you have any idea how she must've felt, to have her hands restrained? And he knew that. He knew what she's been through, and how it would make her feel. The bones and tissue will heal. In a few weeks, all she'll have are a few faint scars.

"How long do you think it will take her to get past the feeling of being restrained with her own handcuffs, on her own bed? Will she ever be able to see them, without remembering tonight? Every time she arrests someone, she's going to remember the way it felt to have those same cuffs closed around her wrists. Every time she lies in her bed, she's going to remember being restrained to it. Will she ever be able to feel safe in her own home, again? Will she ever be able to trust anyone enough to have a relationship, again? That bastard could go to jail for the rest of his life, but he's always going to be a part of her life. That's never going to be ok."

Squatting next to her chair, Korsak closed his eyes and sighed. "I know that. I know. But it has to be ok, because we won't let it be anything else. We'll make sure he never hurts her, again, and we'll do our best to help her through this. Nothing else is an option."

Clearing her throat quietly, Julie got their attention. "I'll make sure she has the name of a very good counselor. In the short term, I would suggest having someone stay with her, or her staying with them, for awhile. Even without the psychological damage, she's going to need help. Her ribs and abdomen are going to severely restrict her movements, and walking is going to be painful for at least a few days. She'll need help dressing and doing a lot of everyday tasks."

Nodding, Maura sat up straighter. "Yes, she'll be staying with me. I don't want her going back to her place until every trace of him is gone, and we know he won't be able to get to her. I can take a few days off. Vince, do you think you could pack her a bag for at least a week, and bring my car here? My keys are probably in her bedroom, somewhere. I don't remember where I dropped them. When she's released, in the morning, I'll take her home with me. How long do you think she has before this gets around the station?"

Checking his watch and thinking for a moment, Korsak shook his head and sighed. "Not as long as any of us would hope. If I wait until after I get your statements, before I file everything, then it'll be too late to catch any attention. If I call Cavanaugh, first, he might be able to keep it quiet for a day or two, but you know how the station works. If one person knows about it, then everyone will. Even if we can keep it quiet, people are gonna notice she's not at work, and they'll ask questions. Frost and I will do our best to field most of them, but people are gonna wonder. Eventually, someone will notice the arrest report, and do the math."

Sighing, Maura nodded. "I was afraid of that. It's unavoidable, though. Well, I can give you my statement, now. Jane's still not talking much, so I'm not sure she'll be up to giving a statement, tonight. We should hurry, though. I don't want them bringing her back before I'm done. She doesn't need to hear it, and I don't think I could handle telling you about it, a second time. I don't think it'll be any easier for you to listen, but I think you can handle it better than Barry."

Using the chair to get to his feet, he nodded and turned back toward the room. Realizing Julie had left, at some point, he shrugged and waited for Maura to go ahead of him. Opening his notebook with a sigh, he held his pen ready and nodded to Maura. Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, she started from when she saw Jane leaving the station. She wasn't even bothering to wipe away the tears, and Korsak was almost vibrating in anger, when they heard voices outside the window. Taking several deep breaths to compose themselves, Maura wiped her eyes and they shared a nod and waited.

A moment later, Julie pulled the curtain back so another nurse could wheel the bed back into the room. Getting it situated, she spoke to Maura. "She's being admitted for observation, so as soon as a room is ready, she'll be moved. Given the circumstances, I've gotten the ok for you to stay with her. It took some talking, but it helps that you're a doctor."

Getting a grateful smile from Maura, she turned to Jane. "Do you mind if they're here while I tell you what the x-rays and ultrasound showed?" Jane looked at Maura and Korsak before shaking her head. "Ok, well, you have two broken ribs and three fractured, as well as substantial bruising. The ultrasound was clear, so there's no internal damage, just a lot of bruising. You're going to be in a lot of pain, for awhile. For tonight, I'm not going to suggest wrapping your ribs. The bruising will make it painful, and I'm going to make sure you get some stronger pain meds, to help you sleep. Once you leave, though, you'll need to keep them wrapped. You'll need someone to help you dress and do a lot of everyday things, like wash your hair or cook. You're ribs are going to make lifting your arms painful, and you'll need to restrict movement so the broken ribs don't cause more damage."

Noticing Jane's slightly panicked look, Maura reached out to squeeze her hand. "You'll be staying with me, for now. I'm having Vince get you some clothes, and I'm taking a few days off. After that, we'll see what you want to do."

Nodding to Maura, Jane turned to Julie and gave her a nod, too. Julie smiled and nodded back. "Ok, then I'll make sure the doctor on call knows to give you a both a copy of your care instructions, when you're released. I'll also give you name of a good therapist to talk to. You don't have to call her right away, and you can choose to talk to someone else, but you should talk to someone. You'll need to talk to someone."

When someone else knocked, Julie moved the curtain to see another nurse waiting. "Looks like your room's ready. Your friends can follow us up, if you'd like."

Giving Korsak a questioning look, Jane's brows suddenly furrowed and she shook her head. Watching her, Maura looked at him in confusion, before noticing the notebook he still had in front of him. "Vince already took my statement. If you don't want to talk, tonight, he can come over, after your released tomorrow, and you can give yours."

Nodding, he tucked the notebook away and smiled. "You know how it works. I can wait till you're ready. We got enough to hold him. I'll go by your place to pack you a bag and bring the Doc her car, in the morning. I'll be calling Cavanaugh, tonight, to see if he can keep this quiet, for at least a couple days. I'll keep the Doc updated, so she can tell you." Standing up, he looked awkward as he tried to decide between walking toward her or leaving. Seeing her wary gaze, he sighed and nodded toward the door. "I'll leave, so they can get you settled in a room. You just let them take care of you, and I'll see you tomorrow. I'm glad you're safe, and I'm sorry I didn't listen to the Doc. You just focus on getting better, ok?"

Standing up, Maura held out the bag holding her clothes. "Vince, I know they're not strictly required as evidence, but I'd rather not see them again, anyway."

Taking the bag, he nodded and turned and left quickly. Waiting for Maura to stand, Julie got the bed ready, and started pushing it out the door. Introducing the new nurse as Lindsey, she let her take over, and Maura followed them to the elevator.

A few minutes later, Jane was settled in a room and Maura was sitting next to her. Lindsey came back with a new saline bag and stronger pain meds. Getting everything set up, she left. Maura watched closely as some of the pain left Jane's face, and then she finally let her eyes close to sleep. Making sure she could see the door, Maura clasped Jane's hand in hers, and readied herself for a long and sleepless night.

* * *

Part way through the night, Julie peeked into the room quietly. Seeing Maura watching her, she nodded and walked in to stand by the foot of the bed. Taking a moment to look over the chart, she checked to make sure Jane was still sleeping before speaking. "The blood tests came back. She's anemic and malnourished. Her immune system is weakened, so she'll need to take extra care to clean and bandage her wrists while they heal. Since her assailant is in custody, he can be tested to evaluate her chance of STD's or STI's. I still want to take preventative measures, just to be safe. Knowing his status will help to ease her mind, though. Also, the x-rays showed healed fractures on at least two ribs, that look only a few months old, at the most.

"I'll be writing up a full report, before I leave. I'll leave it at the nurses' station, and make sure there's a note so Sergeant Korsak gets it, in the morning. Unfortunately, given her line of work, it's impossible to say, conclusively, if some of the older injuries were caused by abuse, or not. Even without those, there should be more than enough evidence of abuse to get a conviction."

Swallowing thickly, Maura nodded. "Thank you. I'll make sure Vince knows to get the report, just in case."

Julie stood there a moment, before taking a deep breath and stepping closer, making sure she had Maura's attention. "I've seen enough friends and family blaming themselves for what happened, to recognize the look. I don't know everything, but I do know that abuse victims become very good at not letting anyone see the signs. They learn to spin convincing lies and deflect questions. Abusers learn not to leave marks where people will see them, and their victims learn to cover them up. You saw what she wanted you to see.

"She's going to need help getting through this. You and the Sergeant clearly care for her a lot, and she needs that, but she doesn't need you blaming yourselves. Abuse victims, especially long-term abuse victims, often end up feeling responsible for everything bad that happens around them. She's going to blame herself for everything that happened. If she feels like you're blaming yourself, then she'll add that to the list of things to feel guilty about.

"I can give you the name of a therapist to talk to, if you'd like. You won't be the first person to seek help reconciling misplaced guilt. It may help you to have someone to talk to, while you help her through this. If she's staying with you, then you're going to be the easiest target for all of her pain and anger. You'll need someone to talk to so you don't let it get to you."

Watching Jane sleep, Maura sighed heavily and nodded. "Thank you. I've become acquainted with several members of the mental health profession, during my career. I usually refer the family of victims to them, but I can think of a couple that might be willing to take me as a patient, if I ask. I'll be sure to talk to Vince and Barry, her other partner, about it. I'll also mention it to her family, if I get the chance."

Nodding, Julie held out a card. "This is the therapist I usually recommend to family members. Even if you don't use it, someone may want to talk to her. She works on a sliding fee scale."

Smiling faintly, Maura took the card, looking around briefly before realizing she didn't have her purse, or any pockets, and finally just held it in her hand. "You've managed to make this a little less horrible, and I don't know how to really thank you for that. I know it's your job, but it's obvious you do it because you care. That means a lot."

Walking over to squeeze her shoulder, Julie smiled and gave a tiny shrug. "I do it because I can't not do it. I can't not help these women. If I can help them be just a little less uncomfortable and scared, then it's all I can do. I see them on what is probably the worst day of their lives. I can't not try to ease some of that pain. Jane's lucky to have you here. So many of the women I see don't have anyone to sit with them. I try to help as much as I can, even if they don't register or remember me."

Maura looked up at her and nodded. "I admire your strength and courage. I could never face that, day after day. Even if Jane isn't able to fully appreciate what you've done, today, I do. Thank you."

Nodding, Julie gave Maura's shoulder another squeeze before starting toward the door. "You're welcome. Both of you. I get off in a couple hours, so I won't see you again. You take care of yourself, so you can take care of her. She's been through hell, and she needs a strong support system to help her get past it."

Looking back at Jane, still sleeping, thanks to the pain meds, Maura nodded. "I will. I'll help her as much as she'll let me."

Smiling sadly, Julie nodded and left quietly.

* * *

**A/N: I want this story to be a way to bring attention a topic that is usually glossed over as 'too sensitive,' 'too painful,' or 'too shameful' to be talked about. Too often, victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault are made to feel guilty or alienated because of what they've been forced to endure. Escaping domestic violence is NOT as simple as the victim leaving. There is a deeply psychological component that extends far beyond the physical abuse.**

**Explaining the signs of domestic violence would take pages and pages, and would still not touch on everything. If you want more information, then here are some sites you can visit (remember to remove the spaces once you copy/paste):**

**National Domestic Violence Hotline Web Site: **http : / / www . thehotline . org /**  
Domestic Violence Services: **http : / / www . domesticviolenceservices . com /**  
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network: **http : / / www . rainn . org /**  
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **http : / / www . loveisrespect . org /

**For victims and survivors who needs someone to talk to, here are some hotlines (if someone wants to send me info on hotlines outside of the US, feel free, and I'll include them in the future):**

**Rape and Sexual Assault: **1-800-656-4673**  
Domestic Violence Hopeline: **1-800-621-HOPE (4673)**  
National Domestic Violence Hotline: **1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY 1-800-787-3224**  
Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **1-866-331-9474 TTY 1-866-331-8453

**International Numbers for Domestic Violence Information and Services:  
Australia - **1800 811 811**  
USA - **1800 799 7233**  
UK - **0808 2000 247**  
Canada - **1800 363 9010**  
NZ - **0508 744 633

**France - **3919


	10. Chapter 10

When Jane woke the next morning, she lay as still as possible for a moment, before opening her eyes and looking around in confusion. Maura waited and watched, not wanting to startle her. It took a moment, but Jane finally registered her surroundings, and Maura. Squeezing her eyes shut, she started to shake with silent sobs. Moving slowly and making quiet shushing noises, she stood and reached out to hold Jane's hand, when it was yanked away, Maura stood and watched helplessly.

Finally the shaking stopped, and Maura thought Jane had cried herself back to sleep, until she saw her wince. Speaking quietly, Maura patted the mattress gently to get her attention, before pushing the call button. "Jane, I just pushed the call button. A nurse should be here, soon, and they can get you some more pain meds. They'll probably want to change the bandages on your wrists and wrap your ribs, too."

Not getting an answer, Maura sighed and sat back down. A few minutes later, a nurse knocked on the doorway quietly before entering. Realizing Jane wasn't going to acknowledge her presence, Maura gave her a small smile and answered her questioning look. "She woke up a few minutes ago, and seems to need more pain meds."

Nodding, the nurse picked up Jane's chart and looked through it. Putting it back down, she walked up to the head of the bed, where Jane could see her. "Hello, Jane, my name's Cindy. I'll be your nurse, this morning. I'll get you something for the pain. Once they have time to kick in, I'll need to wrap your ribs and change your bandages. We're keeping you on fluids until the doctor releases you, so you have a choice between oral or intravenous meds. Which would you prefer?"

Jane thought for a moment before shrugging. Smiling, Cindy nodded. "Ok, then I think oral meds would probably be best, since that's what we'll be sending you home with. Breakfast will be around, soon, so the meds will be brought at the same time. You'll have the first dose of an antibiotic, the pain meds, and a multivitamin. I think Julie probably told them to bring all the breakfast options, so you can just eat what you want."

Getting a nod in response, Cindy smiled and turned to leave. Getting up quickly, Maura held up a hand to ask her to wait, then turned back to Jane. "I'll be right back. I just need to talk to her a moment." Not getting an answer, she sighed and followed Cindy into the hallway. Making sure they were far enough from the room that Jane wouldn't overhear, she stopped and turned to Cindy. "Would it be possible to have some food brought for me, too? I don't want to leave her long enough to go to the cafeteria, and I don't think she'll eat if I'm not. The last several times I've seen her eat, she barely picked at her food until everyone else was finished."

Looking back toward the room, Cindy gave a sad smile and nodded. "Yes, I'll make sure they bring a tray for you, too. When I take over for Julie, she makes sure I know the details of any new assault cases. I'll have them bring you the same thing they bring Jane. You try to get her to eat as much as possible. She needs everything she can get, while she's healing. The multivitamin will help, but not if she's not eating."

Sighing in relief, Maura smiled faintly and nodded. "Thank you. She'll be staying with me, for at least a few days, so I'll try to make sure she eats as much as possible. Do you know when she's being released? I need to have my car brought to me."

Checking her watch, before rolling her eyes at the pointless action, Cindy shrugged. "The doctor won't be on the floor for another couple hours. It probably won't be until closer to noon, if not later, before he gets to Jane, and another hour or so after that before her release papers will be ready."

Nodding, Maura's attention turned back toward Jane's room. "Thank you."

Waving a hand, Cindy smiled in understanding. "Go. The food should be here in about fifteen minutes, and I'll be by after that to take care of her ribs and bandages."

* * *

It was almost eleven when Maura finally took time to call Korsak. Deciding against using the phone in the room, she walked to the nurses' station and asked to use the phone there. Taking a moment to make sure she remembered his number, she dialed. When he answered, sounding tired, she sighed. "Vince, it's Maura. Jane should be released in the next couple hours, and I wanted to make sure you could bring my car. Also, there's a full report on her injuries waiting for you at the nurses' station, when you get here."

There was silence for a moment, before he spoke. "Yeah, sorry, I haven't been back to her place, yet. I'll head over now, and then bring you your car. Do you think Jane will want anything other than her clothes? Should I grab anything from the bathroom?"

Thinking for a moment Maura shook her head, then realized he couldn't see her. "No, I should have anything she'll need. Try to get her comfortable clothing; sweatpants and large shirts. Tops that fasten in the front will be easier for her to put on. Make sure she has work clothes, too, in case she's still staying with me when she goes back."

Getting a wordless sound of agreement, Maura heard the scratching of a pen against paper for a moment. "Ok, I'll just grab some of everything. If I forget something, let me know and I'll go back."

Sighing, Maura took a deep breath before changing he subject. "How have things been going, so far?"

Korsak was silent for a moment, before letting out a loud breath. "I talked to Cavanaugh, last night, and he agreed to try to keep it quiet for as long as possible. He put her on leave, until further notice. She can come in, when she feels up to it, but she won't be expected in, anytime soon. Unless a doctor says otherwise, he won't stop her from working, but she's on desk duty until the ribs heal. He told me to get you to try to get her to talk to someone. Since it's not work-related, he can't order her to go to the department shrink, but he's hoping you'll be able to get her to see someone."

Nodding to herself, Maura closed her eyes in relief. "That's better than I'd hoped for. I already planned to work on getting her to see a therapist. Julie made sure the information for a specialist will be included in her discharge papers. She also gave me a card for a therapist she recommends to the family of victims. She pointed out that I will probably need someone to talk to, so I can better help Jane, and recommended that I pass the information onto you, and anyone else who might need it. I know we are all dealing with feelings of guilt, and Jane doesn't need the added pressure of our feelings. Julie says she works on a sliding fee scale, so you shouldn't have to worry about the cost. I'll give you the card, when you get here, and you can pass the information on to Barry."

Another loud sigh came over the phone. "Yeah, I think it might be a good idea if I have someone to talk to. Right now, I want to beat that bastard to a pulp, then make sure nothing ever gets the chance to hurt Jane, again. Frost isn't handling it as well. I think this is the first time he's been faced with an abuse victim, and it's Jane. I'll talk to him. He's still watching the bastard. He's in a secure recovery wing, but neither of us are taking any chances. He's supposed to be released sometime tomorrow, and we'll transfer him to lock-up. Cavanaugh agreed that the only way to keep this quiet is to not bring any other officers in. Once I make sure you have everything you need, I'll relieve him so he can get some sleep."

Hearing the tiredness in his voice, Maura's tone grew concerned. "Have you had any sleep?"

The answering snort lacked any humor. "Have you, Doc? I caught a few, here and there, at my desk, but I kept waking up. I just kept seeing her. She didn't look that broken, the first time Hoyt got her. I never thought I would call Jane 'broken,' but there's no other word for the way she looked. How is she, this morning?"

Squeezing her eyes shut against tears, Maura sighed. "She's quiet, and not in a healthy way. Last night, she withdrew to be able to handle everything. Today, she seems determined to ignore everything. I think she's decided that if she doesn't acknowledge that it happened, then she won't have to face it. She's burying it, and it's not healthy. For now, I'm going to let her. If it continues, though, I'll have to find some way to make her face it. Even if she hates me for it, I won't let her repress those feelings."

Korsak's heavy sigh made her learn against the counter. "This is Jane. Before, I would've told you that no one can make her do anything, but now, I just don't know. Just be careful. I'm sure you have a better idea how to help her, than I do, but I can't get past the look on her face. I'm just not sure pushing her is a good idea, she's already been through enough. If she doesn't want to talk, maybe we shouldn't try to make her."

Sighing, and realizing she'd been on the phone for longer than planned, Maura pushed herself away from the desk and smiled apologetically as the nurse sitting on the other side. "Thank you, Vince. I should really get back to the room, though. I'll see you when you get here. Don't forget to pick up the report from the nurses' station. I would suggest not looking at it until you're alone, though. After talking to Julie, last night, I don't think you're going to want anyone around when you read it."

His voice was quieter when he responded. "Thanks for the warning. I'll leave it in my car, when I relieve Frost. If I see what she went through, with him nearby, I might not be able to stop myself from beating him a pulp. If I were younger, I'd be spending some time taking my anger out on a punching bag. I might still have to, after I take her statement. I should be there within the hour. If she's not ready to give her statement, then I'll come by your place after Frost has a couple hours to sleep."

Saying goodbye, Maura handed the receiver back to the nurse with a thank you and made her way back to the room.

* * *

Korsak entered the room, carefully, almost an hour later. Holding out Maura's purse, awkwardly, he leaned against the wall. "I think I put everything back in it. Your keys and phone are in there, at least. I packed Jane's bag, but I wasn't able to find everything you suggested. As far as I could tell, all she has is a few outfits for work. I didn't find any sweatpants or pajamas, or anything. I didn't even find any, delicates. I packed everything I found, which wasn't much. I found a safe in the closet, so I put it in your trunk. I figure her badge and gun are probably in there."

Opening her purse, she took a quick look before tucking it next to her in the chair. "It looks like you got everything, or at least the important items. Thank you." Turning to see Jane watching them silently, Maura refrained from sighing and met her eyes to get her attention. "Do you have any clothing Vince might've missed? You'll be more comfortable if you have loose, easy to pull on, clothing to wear."

When Jane shook her head, Maura gave into the urge to sigh. "I thought that your change in wardrobe might not have been entirely your idea. You can borrow some of my shorts to wear until you feel up to going shopping. I'm afraid my sweatpants would be several inches too short, but you're welcome to wear them if you want. I'll buy you some underwear, tonight or tomorrow. Do you want me to pick up anything else, for you?"

Getting another head shake, Maura darted a glance at Korsak. Seeing a file folder tucked under his arm, she gave a small nod, then turned back to Jane. "Well, if you think of anything, let me know. Do you want to give your statement, now, or have Vince come by after you're unpacked and settled in the guest room?"

Shaking her head, Jane's voice was unexpected, quiet, and firm. "No."

They looked at her in confusion, Korsak standing up straighter and taking a small step forward. "Jane, I know it won't be easy, but I need to get your statement so I can file charges. I can wait, but that means he'll have to be released tonight. You know how this works. I can come by the Doc's place, later, as long as I get everything filed before the 24 hours is up."

Looking him in the eye, she shook her head, again. "No. No statement. I don't want to talk about it."

Putting her hand on the bed next to Jane's, Maura waited until she had Jane's attention. Taking a deep breath, she spoke calmly. "Jane, Vince can't press charges without your statement. He gets released from the hospital, tomorrow, and none of us want him to have a chance to hurt you, again. You need to press charges. You've seen what happens when victims don't press charges. I don't want to see you on my table, Jane. Please, let Vince get your statement."

Meeting Maura's eyes, and ignoring her tears, Jane shook her head firmly. "I'm not a victim. There's no statement to give."

When Jane turned her head to face away from them, Maura wiped her eyes and looked at Korsak. "Will it be enough to hold him, if I charge him with assault?"

Slumping back against the wall, he shook his head. His voice was angry and full of disgust and hate, when he spoke. "No, he's already claiming that you broke into his home and attacked him unprovoked. Without Jane's statement, it's your word against his. He claims you broke in and attacked him while he was 'making love' to his girlfriend."

Breathing quickly, Maura's nostrils flared and she clenched her fists in her lap in anger. Closing her eyes, she forced herself to breathe deeply and unclenched her fists, leaving her hands spread flat against her thighs, fingers flexing and digging into the muscles there. "Is there ANYTHING we can do? Anything you can charge him with?"

Shaking his head, Korsak let out a frustrated breath. "Unfortunately not. Even if I charge him for taking a swing at me, there's not much we can do. All he has to do is claim we arrested him without cause after you attacked him. Maybe he won't think to look for her at your place. Just in case, Frost and I will take turns sitting out front. You make sure everything is locked up, and your alarm is set, as soon as you get home. We'll keep him in custody for as long as possible, and you call me if she changes her mind. I need to go talk to Frost and let him go get some sleep. Call me when you get home, and I'll have Frost take the first shift, tonight. He'll be parked outside the minute our 24 hours runs out."

Maura closed her eyes and nodded. "Thank you. Are you sure Cavanaugh won't mind you missing work?"

He just shrugged. "He told me we're to do whatever needed to look after Jane. He doesn't expect either of us in, tomorrow, anyway. I'm sure he'd assign uniforms to her, if he could. You just let me and Frost worry about that. You make sure Jane has whatever she needs. If you need something from the store, call one of us and we'll pick it up on our way to change shifts. You can go ahead and make a list, and I'll give it to Frost. He'll drop everything off, tonight."

Sighing in defeat, Maura looked at Jane, who was still ignoring them, and started digging through her purse. Finding a pen and small notepad, she took a moment to think before making a short list, ripping the page out, and handing it to Korsak. "I'll pay him back. And I'll keep a pot of coffee and food ready, for both of you. Just knock if you need something. I know you'll both feel better watching the street, or I'd suggest you come inside. Tell Barry, thank you, for me."

Nodding, he scanned the list and tucked it in his pocket. Seeing Jane still staring at the opposite wall, Korsak shook his head. "Don't hesitate to call, if you need anything. Jane, you focus on getting better. I hope you change your mind."

Getting no response from Jane and a thankful smile from Maura, he left. Maura went back to watching Jane ignore everything around her.

* * *

**A/N: I want this story to be a way to bring attention a topic that is usually glossed over as 'too sensitive,' 'too painful,' or 'too shameful' to be talked about. Too often, victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault are made to feel guilty or alienated because of what they've been forced to endure. Escaping domestic violence is NOT as simple as the victim leaving. There is a deeply psychological component that extends far beyond the physical abuse.**

**Explaining the signs of domestic violence would take pages and pages, and would still not touch on everything. If you want more information, then here are some sites you can visit (remember to remove the spaces once you copy/paste):**

**National Domestic Violence Hotline Web Site: **http : / / www . thehotline . org /**  
Domestic Violence Services: **http : / / www . domesticviolenceservices . com /**  
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network: **http : / / www . rainn . org /**  
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **http : / / www . loveisrespect . org /

**For victims and survivors who needs someone to talk to, here are some hotlines (if someone wants to send me info on hotlines outside of the US, feel free, and I'll include them in the future):**

**Rape and Sexual Assault: **1-800-656-4673**  
Domestic Violence Hopeline: **1-800-621-HOPE (4673)**  
National Domestic Violence Hotline: **1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY 1-800-787-3224**  
Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **1-866-331-9474 TTY 1-866-331-8453

**International Numbers for Domestic Violence Information and Services:  
Australia - **1800 811 811**  
USA - **1800 799 7233**  
UK - **0808 2000 247**  
Canada - **1800 363 9010**  
NZ - **0508 744 633

**France - **3919


	11. Chapter 11

Jane stayed stubbornly silent through the doctor's visit and explanation of her discharge papers and aftercare, barely acknowledging his presence until he held out a clipboard so she could sign the papers. Getting her into Maura's car was easier than expected, but still took several minutes. The drive to Maura's house was silent, because Jane refused to talk and Maura was unwilling to break the uneasy silence by turning on the radio.

Parking as close to the house as possible, Maura helped Jane out of the car and into the house. After getting her situated on the couch, Maura went after Jane's bag and the safe, then moved her car to it's usual spot.

Finding Jane staring blankly at the TV, without having bothered to turn it on, Maura sighed. Picking up Jane's things, she walked in front of the couch, making sure Jane could see her. "I'm going to get your things situated in the guest room, and I'll see what you're missing. If I don't have it, then I'll have Barry pick it up, on his way over." Not getting any response, Maura sighed and started down the hall.

When she came back out to the living room, more than a half hour later, Jane hadn't moved much or turned on the TV. Sighing, Maura sat down next to her, picked up the remote, and handed it to her. "I know it's been two and a half years, but you are not a guest in my house. I want you to feel at home here. You're allowed to watch TV, or even use the computer in my office. If you're hungry or thirsty, then you are free to anything I have. If you want, or need, something I don't have, then tell me or add it to the shopping list on the refrigerator. You don't need to ask my permission for anything. I don't know what rules you've been having to live by, but none of them apply, in my home."

Finally getting Jane to look at her, Maura gave a small smile and nod. "Ok, well, your next dose of meds is due in less than an hour, and you need to take them with food. Cooking is going to be awkward until your ribs heal a bit, so just let me know what you want. Unfortunately, I don't have any of your preferred foods, but I'm sure I have something you'll like. I'll add some red meat and other iron rich foods to the list, and some healthy snack options. You need to eat several small meals a day, and snack in between, especially while you heal. If there's anything you want, just add it to the list. If you're worried about the cost, then you can pay me back, if it helps you feel more comfortable. You should know, though, that I don't expect, or need, you to."

Realizing she was babbling, Maura stopped talking and stood up. Grabbing a notebook she'd set on the kitchen island, she brought it back to the couch and sat back down. "This is what I have, so far, that I need to have Vince or Barry get for us. It'd be easier if I could go out, but I understand and share their concerns. It'd be a bit easier if we were closer to the same height, but most of my clothing would just be too short on you. Until your ribs heal, it's going to he hard to lift your arms, so you need shirts that don't have to pulled over your head, or are large enough to do so without pain. Is there anything else I missed, or that you want? I'm going to see what I can make for us to eat. You can add anything you think of, while I do so."

* * *

Maura busied herself in the kitchen, trying to put together a small meal she knew Jane would eat. When she finally gave into the urge to check on Jane, she was mildly relieved to see her appearing to read over the list Maura had given her. The TV was still off, but it was the first sign of Jane really taking an active interest in anything around her, instead of steadfastly ignoring everything.

When the food was done, Maura put both their plates on a tray and carried it over to set down on the coffee table. Going back after drinks, she set Jane's juice down in front of her and handed her a plate. "I know you're not a big fan of salad, but you need the nutrients, and this was the best I could come up with quickly. I'll have more time to work on dinner. If you want more, there's a container in the fridge, and you can help yourself."

Seeing Jane glancing nervously at the kitchen island and dining table, she sighed and picked up her own plate. "Yes, I am aware that I usually don't allow meals to be eaten on my couch, but this is an exception. It would be cruel for me to expect you to sit on a stool or dining chair, no matter the level of padding, or to expect you to eat standing up. Until your bruising has healed, we will both be eating on the couch."

Taking the first bite of her food, Maura tried not to make it obvious that she was watching Jane. When Maura was about half done with her food, Jane took her first bite, then quickly finished it all and downed her juice. Noticing Jane staring at her plate, Maura stood up and took both their plates back into the kitchen. When she came back with both plates reloaded, Jane looked at her in shock. Smiling, she handed Jane her plate, then carried their glasses off to get more juice. Sitting back down, she risked patting Jane's knee gently when she looked up with a small smile. "I told you, if you're still hungry, you can have seconds. After you're done, I'll get you your meds. I'm sure your pain pill must be starting to wear off."

Happy to see Jane eating more slowly, Maura ate her own food carefully, trying not to let Jane notice that she'd given herself less food, both times. When they were both done, Maura took their plates and rinsed them before loading them into the dishwasher. Noticing that Jane's glass was empty, she went back for it, then brought the refilled glass and two bottles of pills back to the couch. Setting the juice down, she waited until Jane held out her hand, then poured a pill from each bottle into her palm.

Putting the pill bottles back in the kitchen, Maura fidgeted for a moment before deciding to risk it. Sitting back down, she waited until Jane looked at her. "I'm not sure there's a way for me to say this that isn't potentially awkward, so I'll just say it. I'm sure you would really like to take a long, hot shower, but we both know that will be difficult, with your ribs and wrists injured. I can wrap your wrists to help keep the bandages dry, but you're not going to be able to wash your hair, on your own. Since your ribs won't be able to handle leaning over a sink, we really only have two options. Either you can sit in the bathtub while I wash your hair, or I can stand in the shower, with you. I know neither option will be pain-free, but it's the best I can think of. If you'd like, I can get you something to wear, while I wash your hair. I just know you must really want to feel clean, right now."

Jane sighed heavily and leaned back against the couch, more. It was several minutes, and Maura was beginning to think Jane wasn't going to answer, when she finally spoke. Her voice was quiet and rough from disuse and Maura wasn't sure she'd actually heard her, at first. "Can I sit in the tub? And wear clothes, please?"

Smiling at her, Maura nodded, then got up. "Yes. I'll go ahead and wrap your bandages. Do you think you'll need help unwrapping your ribs? I'll have to rewrap them, and change the bandages on your wrists, after you dry off. I'll get you something to wear while I wash your hair, and a bathrobe. You can just call for me, when you're ready for me to wash your hair."

Getting tape and plastic wrap, Maura had Jane's wrists wrapped quickly. Helping her stand, Maura went to her bedroom to look for something Jane could wear while getting her hair washed, and afterward. Finally settling on what she thought would be most comfortable, she grabbed everything and headed for the guest bathroom.

Knocking gently on the door, even though it wasn't shut completely, Maura waited until she heard Jane say it was ok, before she entered. Finding her standing awkwardly in front of the mirror, Maura set the clothes down and hung the bathrobe on the back of the door. "I don't have much in the way of loungewear, and even less that would fit you. I brought a couple pairs of sweatpants, they'll be too short, but I thought you'd be more comfortable in them than a pair of my shorts. Unfortunately, all I could find for front-closing tops were a hoodie and several nightgowns. I thought a nightgown would be easiest for washing your hair, but it's up to you. The sleeves of the hoodie won't be long enough for your arms, but it should be acceptable for your torso. I'll be sure to have Barry get you some sweatpants and tops, on his way over. That way you can change into something more fitting, and have something comfortable to sleep in."

Noticing Jane staring at her, Maura sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm babbling. It's just that you're being so quiet, which is fine, but I'm not used to it. I keep expecting you to interrupt me. I'll try not to over-explain everything. Do you want me to leave, or do you need help unwrapping your ribs?"

Standing for several moments in silence, Jane finally sighed. "I tried, before you came in, and it hurts too much. Can you do it without taking my shirt off?"

Thinking for a moment, Maura shrugged. "I can, but then it might be too painful for you to take the shirt off. I can help you take the shirt off, without looking, and you can hold a towel over yourself. You're going to have to be shirtless when I wrap your ribs, though. I'm afraid there's simply no way to do this, and preserve your modesty. I'm sorry."

Taking a deep breath, Jane sighed loudly then nodded. "Ok. Can I still use the towel?"

Nodding, Maura handed her a towel and waited until she was sure Jane was ready. Pulling the overly large scrub top the hospital had given her up Jane's back and over her head, Maura held her breath to prevent herself from making a sound. Forcing herself not to pause as the extent of the bruising became visible, around the edges of the wrap, Maura turned around while Jane got the shirt off the rest of the way and wrapped the towel around herself. Turning back around when Jane was ready, she carefully undid the wrap and rolled it up before setting it on the counter.

Leaving the bathroom, Maura went back to the living room. Grabbing the list off the couch, she carried it into the kitchen. Opening the notebook, she was happy to see that Jane had corrected the sizes on some of the clothing items and added a few things to the list. Opening cupboards and the refrigerator, Maura started making a list of some of the foods she thought Jane would like, and things she was running low on. First sending an apology for the length of the list, and a promise to pay him back, Maura sent him the most pertinent items on the list.

By the time she was done, she heard the shower turn off. Figuring Jane was getting dressed so she could wash her hair, she started down the hallway. Surprised to see the bathroom door still partially open, Maura sighed when she remembered the missing doorknobs in Jane's apartment. Making a mental note of one more thing to bring up, at some point, Maura almost jumped when Jane tentatively called her name. Taking a deep breath and waiting a moment, so it wouldn't seem like she'd been waiting in the hallway, she pushed the door open and entered the bathroom.

Seeing Jane sitting on the bottom of the bathtub, wearing her too short nightgown and a towel over her lap, made Maura swallow back tears and force a smile. It was obvious it was painful for her to sit on the hard surface, and there were bruises visible on Jane's arms below the sleeves, and some darker bruises showed through the back of the nightgown where water had made the material slightly transparent.

Disconnecting the handheld shower head, Maura knelt next to the bathtub. Noticing Jane was sitting on another towel, she thought for a moment before nodding. "That's something I hadn't fully considered. I knew it would uncomfortable for you to sit in the tub, but I hadn't really thought of finding a way to pad it. After we're done here, I'll text Barry and ask him to try to find an inflatable cushion. Ok, tilt your head back, and I'll wash your hair."

Making sure the water was at a good temperature and setting the shower head at a low pressure, Maura carefully wet Jane's hair before adding the shampoo. Getting lost in the simplicity of washing someone else's hair, and being able to take care of Jane, almost made Maura smile. Working as quickly as possible, Jane's hair was soon washed, conditioned, and rinsed. Turning off the water, Maura squeezed as much water as possible out of Jane's hair before carefully helping her to stand.

There was a moment of awkwardness when they both realized Jane needed to undress and dry off, so Maura could wrap her ribs. Chewing her lip for a moment, Maura grabbed another towel. "Let me wrap your hair, then I'll leave while you dry off and get partially dressed. I'll go ahead and change the bandages on your wrists, after I'm done with your ribs. It's best to do it all at once, and before your pain meds have a chance to start wearing off."

Leaving the bathroom, and making sure the door was shut behind her, Maura sent a quick text to Frost, adding an inflatable cushion to the list, before grabbing the first aid kit she kept in the kitchen. Standing in the hallway for a few minutes, she finally knocked on the bathroom door. When Jane opened the door, wearing the too short sweat pants and a towel wrapped around her torso, Maura waited for her to let her into the bathroom. Setting down the first aid kit and picking up the wrap, she turned around. "Ok, I'm sure you know how this works, but I need you to raise your arms up and out to the side. I can wrap them from behind, but I will have to remove the towel, and the pressure will hurt, at least at first."

Sighing, Jane turned to face the wall and raised her arms. When Maura carefully removed the towel, she couldn't stop a gasp from escaping. Covering her mouth, she reached out with her other hand, stopping just before touching Jane's back. Jane's back and sides were covered in bruises, ranging from sickly green to a dark purple that was almost black. Each of her ribs and vertebras were visible under her skin. Realizing she was staring, Maura quickly shook her head and started working. A few minutes later, Jane's ribs were wrapped and Maura handed the hoodie to her so she could finish dressing.

When Jane turned around, she kept her head down and refused to look at Maura. Sighing loudly, Maura reached out slowly to touch her arm and get her attention. When she flinched and still refused to look up, Maura sat on the lid of the toilet and leaned over to meet her eyes. "NONE of this is your fault. I was shocked and upset at seeing the level of abuse you've endured. I don't think any of what happened is your fault, in ANY way, and I don't think you are less for having endured it. You have been through more than most people will ever even begin to comprehend. You are strong, and your body will heal. The bruises will heal. Your ribs will heal. Your wrists will heal. In a few months, even the scars will be barely visible.

"When your body has healed, then you can begin to heal the mental and emotional wounds. And I know you're strong enough to do that, too. I will help you, in any way I am able, and that you'll allow. Vince and Barry will help, too. I don't know what has happened with your family, but I know they love you, and I'm sure they will be willing to help. You're not alone. Just try to remember that.

"Now, I should change your bandages so you can go sit on the couch. I'm sure you can't wait to sit down. It can't be comfortable to have been sitting in the bathtub, and now standing for so long." Reaching out for Jane's wrist, Maura smiled when she held it out. It only took a few minutes to clean and re-bandage both wrists.

Even after Maura cleaned up the empty wrappers and washed her hands, Jane was still standing there, awkwardly. Seeing her arms move slightly as she fidgeted in place, Maura stood up and studied her. When she saw the hopeless look on Jane's face, she took a step closer, then hesitated. Taking a deep breath, she held her arms out slightly and smiled faintly at Jane. "Is it ok if I hug you? I know it would help me feel a little better. You've always been a very tactile person, so I think it might benefit you, too."

Tensing for a moment, Jane finally let out a breath and forced herself to relax. Taking a step toward Maura, she nodded. Realizing it was up to her to close the gap, Maura took the remaining few steps slowly, and wrapped her arms under Jane's, careful to rest her hands on Jane's shoulders, and not wrap her arms around her ribs. For a moment, they stood in awkward tension, then Jane's body relaxed and she wrapped her arms around Maura's shoulders. The hug didn't last long, before Jane tensed again and pulled away, but Maura squeezed her hand and smiled at her, getting the ghost of a smile in return.

Grabbing the first aid kit, Maura left the bathroom. For the first time since she'd burst into Jane's bedroom, she felt a real glimmer of hope. When she turned around to find Jane staring blankly at the TV, again, she took a deep breath and forced herself to hold onto that hope, then went to join her on the couch.

* * *

**A/N: I want this story to be a way to bring attention a topic that is usually glossed over as 'too sensitive,' 'too painful,' or 'too shameful' to be talked about. Too often, victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault are made to feel guilty or alienated because of what they've been forced to endure. Escaping domestic violence is NOT as simple as the victim leaving. There is a deeply psychological component that extends far beyond the physical abuse.**

**Explaining the signs of domestic violence would take pages and pages, and would still not touch on everything. If you want more information, then here are some sites you can visit (remember to remove the spaces once you copy/paste):**

**National Domestic Violence Hotline Web Site: **http : / / www . thehotline . org /**  
Domestic Violence Services: **http : / / www . domesticviolenceservices . com /**  
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network: **http : / / www . rainn . org /**  
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **http : / / www . loveisrespect . org /

**For victims and survivors who needs someone to talk to, here are some hotlines (if someone wants to send me info on hotlines outside of the US, feel free, and I'll include them in the future):**

**Rape and Sexual Assault: **1-800-656-4673**  
Domestic Violence Hopeline: **1-800-621-HOPE (4673)**  
National Domestic Violence Hotline: **1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY 1-800-787-3224**  
Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **1-866-331-9474 TTY 1-866-331-8453

**International Numbers for Domestic Violence Information and Services:  
Australia - **1800 811 811**  
USA - **1800 799 7233**  
UK - **0808 2000 247**  
Canada - **1800 363 9010**  
NZ - **0508 744 633

**France - **3919


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry this is late. When I tried to upload the chapter, earlier in the week, ffn wouldn't let me log on. Then, I spent Friday sleeping off a migraine. Anyway, I hope the chapter is good enough to make up for the slightly extended wait.**

* * *

After deciding what to make for dinner, Maura carried a couple bowls of cut fruit to the couch. Setting one in front of Jane, Maura used her fork to eat a couple pieces before setting her own down. Fidgeting for a moment in the awkward silence, Maura leaned forward and snagged the remote off the coffee table. Turning the TV on, she started flipping through the channels.

When she landed on a baseball game, and stopped, Jane looked at her in surprise. Setting the remote back down, Maura shrugged and picked her bowl back up and leaned back. After several moments of Jane being eerily quiet, Maura looked at her and used her fork to point at the TV. "I haven't watched baseball, the last two seasons. I tried, because I grew to actually enjoy it, but it upset me. At first, I was still angry. When that passed, I just missed watching it with you. I'm a bit out of practice with some of the rules, and I'm afraid I don't know any of the new players, or how the team is doing."

It took several minutes, and Maura asking prompting questions, but Jane finally started explaining the current season and players. Her voice was quieter than usual, and she seemed to barely register bad plays or calls against their team, but she was at least talking. When she ran out of actual questions, Maura started asking questions she already knew the answers to, just to keep Jane talking. Baseball was a safe topic, and the longer they talked, the more Jane seemed actively engaged in the conversation.

About halfway through the game, there was a knock on the door. Even though she knew it was too early for Dean to have been released from custody, Maura still tensed. Noticing Jane sitting so stiffly she was almost shaking, Maura got up quickly. Realizing she didn't have anything to use as a weapon, she walked carefully toward the door. When she looked through the peephole, she almost collapsed from relief. Turning, she smiled as Jane reassuringly. "It's just Barry. He must have decided to come by early."

When she opened the door cautiously, he grimaced in apology. "I should've let you know I would be here early, shouldn't I? Sorry, I just got the shopping you needed done sooner than I thought, and I didn't want to wait, because of the groceries."

Smiling and opening the door wide, Maura waved him in. "It's ok. We were just watching the game, and the knock startled us. Do you need help carrying things in? You can watch the game, while I get dinner started for all of us."

Frost waved to Jane, who gave a wary nod in response, then smiled at Maura. "Yeah. There are quite a few bags. I wanted to make sure I got everything, and I wasn't sure what kind you wanted, on a few things, so I got more than one."

Nodding to Jane, Maura shut the door and followed him out his car. When they were well away from the house, he shot her a worried look. "How is she doing? Really? Korsak filled me in on her injuries, and said she refused to file charges. That just doesn't seem like Jane. She's not one to let someone get away with something like this. If this were a case, she wouldn't sleep until we caught the guy."

Sighing and waiting while Frost unlocked his trunk, Maura stared back at her house. "Physically, she'll be fine in a few weeks. The broken ribs will take the longest to heal, and cause the most limitations. Mentally and emotionally, I can't say. She hasn't really talked, and hasn't said anything about what's happened. She barely spoke at all, until I got her to start explaining the baseball game we were watching. I don't know if it's just her current state, or a conditioned response, but she hasn't once yelled at the screen or complained about a bad play or call, even when one of the basemen managed to drop the ball after he caught it.

"She hasn't offered any information, or answered a question, unless she has to. I suspect that she's used to being punished for talking. She's not the same woman she used to be, and she'll never really be that person, again. This has changed her. All we can do is try to help her deal with consequences and be there when she needs us, without trying to force her to do more than she's ready for. She did let me hug her, earlier, so I know she wants help, even if she's not ready to admit it. It's not going to be an easy process, for any of us, though.

"As for not pressing charges, it's not entirely surprising. I don't have extensive knowledge in the mental health fields, but I have read case studies and talked to professionals in those fields. Victims of abuse, especially long-term abuse, are made to feel like they've earned the treatment. Abusers use phrases like, 'You made me do this,' to place the blame solely on the victim. Not only does it appease any guilt they may experience, but the victim eventually starts to believe it, and even expect it.

"Victims sometimes internalize the guilt so deeply, that they refuse to press charges because they believe they are the ones at fault. Others refuse out of fear of how their abuser will retaliate, should they not be found guilty, or after they are released. Fear of how friends and family will react, plays a part, as well. It's probably a combination of those factors, that made Jane refuse to press charges."

Handing Maura a few bags, Frost grabbed several for himself before closing the trunk. "Do you think it would be better if I kept my distance? She seemed almost scared that I was in the house."

Stopping short of the porch, Maura thought before shaking her head. "I think she needs to get used to being around men, without expecting them to cause her pain. She obviously managed it, before. I think it's just the extent of the last attack, along with shame from having us know what's been happening, that makes her wary. Try to engage her in conversation, just don't approach suddenly or try to touch her. If she reacts negatively, just back off to a distance she's comfortable with. Other than that, I'm not really sure what we can do."

Nodding and falling silent, he waited while Maura opened the door, calling out to let Jane know it was just them returning, before following her inside. They set the bags down on the kitchen island, and Maura started sorting through them. Standing there awkwardly for a moment, Frost finally pointed his thumb toward the front door. "I'm just going to go get the last few bags."

Maura looked up, nodded, and watched him walk out of the house. A couple minutes later, there was a soft knock on the door that made them tense. When Frost called out to them know it was him, they relaxed and Maura smiled when he carried the remaining bags into the kitchen. They quickly sorted out the groceries and Maura started putting them away.

Opening packages, removing tags and stickers, and double checking sizes, Maura sorted and refolded the clothes. Carrying the pile over to Jane, she set them on the couch next to her. "I'm sure you can't wait to put on clothes that actually fit. I had Barry get you sweatpants, some overly large t-shirts, a couple zippered hoodies, and boxers. I thought it would be less embarrassing, for both of you, for him to buy boxers, and they'll be more comfortable, for now. If you want to grab something to change into, now, I can wash the rest."

Grabbing the first items off the top of the pile, Jane let Maura help her up, then walked slowly down the hallway. Frost did a double take when he realized the clothes she was wearing were obviously too short, then winced when he saw the bruises visible on the exposed skin. When she was down the hall, Maura shook her head at him. After a couple more minutes, she went back to unpacking the few remaining items and gestured him closer.

Speaking under her breath and keeping half her attention focused down the hall, Maura gave him a warning look. "Try not to let her see you react to her injuries. When I couldn't contain my reaction when I was wrapping her ribs, she started to withdraw even further, and was obviously feeling shame and guilt. I know Vince told you about her injuries, but it's different to actually see them, and know how they were caused. Don't stare, and try not to react verbally. The injuries you saw really do look worse than they are. Most of the bruises will fade in the next week, or so."

Nodding in understanding, Frost started putting away some of the groceries Maura hadn't gotten to, yet. Opening the fridge and staring for a moment, he finally just set the juice he was holding on the nearest empty spot. When he grabbed for a box, Maura pointed to a line of snack foods on the counter next to the fridge.

By the time they had everything unpacked, Jane was coming back down the hallway, looking visibly more comfortable. Maura smiled and gestured her over. Frost backed up to be out of the way, and let Jane feel unthreatened. Pointing out the snack foods and opening the fridge, Maura made sure Jane knew where everything was. "I asked Barry to pick up several healthy snack food options that he thought you would like. They're yours, so you are free to eat as much as you want, whenever you want. I wasn't sure what to ask for, so I left it up to him to pick foods he thought you'd enjoy.

"I want dinner to be done in time for your next dose of meds. If you want to take a look at what we have, and let me know what you're in the mood for, I'll get it started. You and Barry can watch the game"

Maura watched closely while Jane hesitantly looked through the fridge and freezer, before turning and shrugging. Smiling, she walked over and got the steaks Jane had stared at, out of the freezer. Seeing Jane's surprised look, Maura nodded and started getting several other ingredients out. When Jane reached out to help, then winced when it stretched her ribs, Maura raised an eyebrow and nodded toward the living room. "Jane, your ribs aren't going to allow you to cook comfortably. I like cooking, and I miss cooking for others. You can help, if you really want to, but I think you'd be more comfortable sitting on the couch and watching the game."

Standing there for several moments, watching Maura start to get everything ready to cook, Jane finally nodded and went to sit on the couch. Frost, who'd been standing silently in the background, followed slowly and sat in a chair and turned his attention to the game, which was almost over. After a couple minutes, he asked about a reference the announcer made to an earlier call, and Jane answered quietly. As Maura cooked, she watched Jane slowly relax as they watched the game.

* * *

Dinner was done and cleaned up and they were all watching a movie, a couple hours later. Maura and Frost were discussing the believability of the plot, when his phone rang. Falling silent, Maura darted a glance at Jane and they both watched as he answered his phone. When his posture didn't relax, Maura turned off the TV, and they waited. After a handful of monosyllabic answers, he hung up. Standing up, he unconsciously checked the gun holstered on his hip, drawing their eyes to it.

Seeing Maura's questioning look, he nodded. "That was Korsak. The 24 hours are up. We hadn't told him there weren't any charges, but as soon as Korsak had to uncuff him from the bed, he demanded a nurse bring his release forms so he could check out AMA. I'll be outside, tonight, and Korsak will take over, in the morning. He should get here at about six, and we'll let you know when the shift changes. I'll be parked right outside. Don't answer your door unless I call to let you know it's safe, first. I want to check to make sure all the doors and windows are locked, and you need to set your alarm as soon as I leave. If you so much as hear a branch scrape against a window, I want you to call me and I'll check it out. If for ANY reason, you have to leave, then I need you to call me. If I don't pick up my phone by the third ring, then you need to call dispatch, immediately. Do not look out the window or open the door to check on me. Korsak told dispatch there's been some suspicious activity in your neighborhood, and to treat any call as an emergency. Understood?"

Nodding and standing up, Maura followed him as he started checking doors and windows. "Understood. I'll keep the coffee pot full, and fix you a thermos. When you need more, just let me know, and I'll meet you at the door. I have dispatch on speed dial, and I had all my locks updated when I knew I would be spending several days away, on a regular basis. The locksmith assured me that they're the best for preventing break-ins. There are motion sensitive lights at the back and sides of the house, and the alarm company calls me and then automatically contacts the police if I don't confirm that it's a false alarm. We should be as safe as reasonably possible."

They checked the rest of the locks in silence. When they made it back to the living room, they found Jane curled up in the corner of the couch, a cushion clutched to her chest, and staring at the front door in fear. Sharing a look, Frost's posture straightened and his jaw clenched as he let one hand rest on his gun. Maura sighed and blinked back tears as she got a thermos out of the cupboard. The noise made Jane jump and her head darted toward the noise. When she realized it was just Maura in the kitchen, she didn't relax, but her gaze did return to the front door. Filling the thermos and handing it to Frost, she walked him to the door and carefully locked it and set the alarm, behind him.

Sending him a text to let him know everything was set, she sat back down on the couch. Realizing there wasn't anything she could say or do, she made sure not to block Jane's view of the door, and picked up a magazine.

When Maura's phone rang, several hours later, they both jumped. Answering it quickly, she sighed and relaxed slightly when she heard Frost on the other end. "No, it's ok, Barry. I didn't realize it had gotten so late. I have the coffee ready, and I'll meet you at the door." Staying on the phone, and carrying the coffee pot with her, Maura walked to the front door, waited, then disabled the alarm. Opening the door and quickly filling the thermos Frost held out, they shared a nod then she closed and locked the door, and reset the alarm. "Yes, it's armed, again. Yes, but I'm not sure how much sleep either of us will get. Yes, it will, thank you for reminding me. Yes, I will call you if I hear anything or become worried. Thank you, Barry."

Hanging up, she slipped her phone back into her pocket and headed for the kitchen. Coming back to the couch, she held out a glass of juice and a some pills. Dropping the pills into Jane's hand and handing her the juice, she sighed in relief when Jane swallowed them without looking. Sitting back down, she watched Jane.

Several minutes later, when Jane's eyes started closing, Maura stood. "I'm not sure if you remember, but the doctor prescribed a sleep-aid. You need to sleep to aid your healing, and he knew that the physical pain and emotional stress would make it difficult. I'm not going to let you sleep on the couch, with your ribs injured, so I'll help you to bed."

Getting a hurt and angry glare from Jane, Maura sighed and reached for her arm, again. "I understand your anger, but I promise that I only have your well-being in mind. We both know you would never be able to relax enough to sleep. Your body is in desperate need of sleep, to help the healing process. Barry is right outside, and I will be within easy hearing range, so you have both of us to look out for you. The sleep aid will not prevent you from waking up, if you need to. I'll keep my cell phone with me, and I'll put the cordless phone on the night stand for you. Barry is number three on the speed dial, and dispatch is number five. I'm sorry for the way this must make you feel, but I'm not sorry for looking after your physical well-being."

Refusing Maura's help, Jane shoved herself to her feet, biting back a pained groan, and headed down the hall. Not hearing a door close, Maura followed her. Seeing the bathroom door cracked and the light on, she waited in the hall. Several minutes later, Jane glared at her as she walked across the hall and into the guest room. For almost an hour, Maura stood in the hall in silence. When she was sure Jane was asleep, she quickly turned off lights, double-checked the locks and alarm, and called Frost to let him know they were safe and headed to bed. Then, Maura carefully entered the guest room, checked to make sure Jane was still sleep, and quietly angled the chair so she could watch the windows, door, and bed. Sitting down, she readied herself for a long night.

* * *

**A/N: I hope this chapter helped answer some of the questions and concerns I've been hearing about why Jane didn't just leave, and why she refused to press charges. More will be explained when Jane is in a place where she's comfortable and confident enough to talk about what she's been through. Until then, try to remember/realize that domestic violence involves a lot more than just physical pain. The mental and emotional aspects are usually much more damaging, and long lasting, and they impact EVERY other part of their life.**

**A/N2: I want this story to be a way to bring attention a topic that is usually glossed over as 'too sensitive,' 'too painful,' or 'too shameful' to be talked about. Too often, victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault are made to feel guilty or alienated because of what they've been forced to endure. Escaping domestic violence is NOT as simple as the victim leaving. There is a deeply psychological component that extends far beyond the physical abuse.**

**Explaining the signs of domestic violence would take pages and pages, and would still not touch on everything. If you want more information, then here are some sites you can visit (remember to remove the spaces once you copy/paste):**

**National Domestic Violence Hotline Web Site: ** www . thehotline ** Domestic Violence Services: ** www . domesticviolenceservices ** Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network: ** www . rainn ** National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: ** www . loveisrespect

**For victims and survivors who needs someone to talk to, here are some hotlines (if someone wants to send me info on hotlines outside of the US, feel free, and I'll include them in the future):**

**Rape and Sexual Assault: **1-800-656-4673** Domestic Violence Hopeline: **1-800-621-HOPE (4673)** National Domestic Violence Hotline: **1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY 1-800-787-3224** Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **1-866-331-9474 TTY 1-866-331-8453

**International Numbers for Domestic Violence Information and Services: Australia - **1800 811 811** USA - **1800 799 7233** UK - **0808 2000 247** Canada - **1800 363 9010** NZ - **0508 744 633

**France - **3919

**Isreal - **1 800 220 00


	13. Chapter 13

It was just before six, the next morning, when Maura woke with a scream. Looking around frantically and seeing the sunlight outside and Jane's frightened form huddled against the headboard, she started taking deep breaths and listening intently. When her phone rang from where it'd landed on the floor, she grabbed it and answered it quickly. Korsak's voice on the other end made her relax.

Giving Jane a small nod, she turned her attention back to the phone. "No, we're fine. I must've fallen asleep, and the phone frightened me. I'll check to be sure that everything is still secure, then I'll let you in."

Hanging up, she looked back at Jane and smiled in apology, before getting up and approaching her. "I didn't mean to frighten you. Did I wake you? I'll get you your pain meds as soon as I make sure everything is still secure. Vince said Barry didn't notice anything suspicious, last night. He'll give us a more detailed update, when I let him in." Seeing Jane relax, she nodded and checked the windows in the room, before heading to check the rest of the locks.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, they were standing around the kitchen island. Maura was cooking french toast while Korsak updated them. "Frost didn't see anything last night. You live in a really quiet neighborhood. One neighbor got home late, and there were a few early-morning joggers, but that was it. Officially, Frost had to ask for time off for a family emergency, so Cavanaugh decided to make me and Jane use some of our vacation time. Unofficially, we're on protection detail for you two. Jane's time off will be switched to medical leave, eventually, so she'll still have her vacation time, if she needs it. Cavanaugh even agreed to include Frankie in the unofficially deal, if you want."

Shaking her head quickly, Jane stood and started pacing. "No, I don't want them to know about this. This has nothing to do with my family, and I want them left out of it. It's none of their business, anyway. They don't care, and I don't need them tell me how it's all my fault, just like everything else. No. Don't tell Frankie anything."

Walking into her path, and forcing her to stop, Maura waited until Jane met her eyes. "It's ok. None of us are going to tell anyone anything, without your permission. The only reason Cavanaugh knows, is so we can keep this quiet for as long as possible. This does bring up a concern I'm not sure any of us considered, before, though. Is it possible that...he...would look for you with your family? Could they be in danger?"

Looking up sharply, Jane's eyes darted to Korsak, before she suddenly slumped onto the stool next to her. "No, he knows they don't care. They know everything's my fault. No, he knows I wouldn't be there."

Walking around the island quickly, Korsak ignored Jane's flinch and stopped next to her, fists clenching at his sides. "Your family knew? As soon as I see him, I will beat the ever-living hell out of Frankie, then I'll find Tommy. I can't believe they knew and they didn't say or do anything. This was NOT your fault. NONE of this is your fault. It's that bastard's fault, and your family's for knowing and doing nothing. Just wait until I get my hands on them."

Pulling on his shoulder, Maura made Korsak take a step back, then she stepped between him and a trembling Jane and pushed on his chest until he backed up even more. Turning to Jane, she kneeled down until she could meet her lowered gaze. "Tell me that's not what you meant. Tell me that your family didn't know what he was doing. Please, tell me that we misunderstood."

Shaking her head and wrapping her arms around herself, Jane drew her knees up as close to her chest as she could, resting them on the top rung of the stool. "No, not that. They didn't know about that."

Closing her eyes in relief, Maura nodded and looked over her shoulder to see Korsak slumped against the far edge of the counter. "What did you mean, then? What do they blame you for?"

Meeting Maura's eyes, Jane stared at her in shock, then looked at Korsak. When they both just stared in confusion, she made a gesture between herself and Maura, then at the air around herself. "This. Us. Everything. It's all my fault. I shot your father, and everything fell apart. Ma had to move out, and is working two jobs just to pay rent on her shitty apartment. It's my fault she had to move out, and my fault she's living in a shitty little apartment and had to get rid of almost everything, because there was nowhere to put it. I should've insisted she move in with me, but she refused. I should've tried harder to get you to forgive me. I shouldn't have shot your father. I shouldn't have told...him...that Doyle was in town. I shouldn't have told him Doyle was your father. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told him, but you hated me, and he was the only one that loved me and he wanted to know why I knew he was in town, and why he was at the warehouse, and why he shot the dirty firefighter when he pulled a gun on you. It's all my fault. You're in danger, and it's all my fault. I should just go home. You don't deserve this."

Pulling Jane into a hug, when she tried to stand, Maura buried her face in Jane's hair and started to cry. When Jane finally stopped trying to pull out of the hug, Maura pulled back, but still kept her hands on Jane's shoulders. "Listen to me. You don't hold all the blame. I stopped blaming you for what happened in that warehouse, a long time ago. Under the circumstances, you had no choice. You reacted to a sudden change in dynamics in the only way you could. You did what you had to in order to protect the lives and livelihoods of your friends and colleagues. Doyle sealed his fate when he chose to interfere in an investigation, and then chose to shoot an FBI agent.

"You are not to blame for acting in the best interests of yourself and those you care about. Doyle is to blame for the choices he made, and...Dean...is to blame for disregarding a request you made to him on a personal level." Seeing Jane's surprised look, she sighed. "Yes, I did finally listen to the voicemails you left me. It was several months later, but I did listen to them."

Taking a deep breath and sighing in regret, Maura leaned back against the counter. "Your mother's living and working situations are NOT your fault. Angela is a grown woman, and she can make her own choices. She CHOSE to turn down your offer of living with you. She CHOSE to move out of my guesthouse. I never told her she had to, and I know you didn't tell her to.

"She talked to me when she decided to move out. She said she didn't know what had happened between us, but she hoped that we'd be able to get past it. Living here was making her feel uncomfortable. She felt like you thought she had chosen my side, and not talking to me, made her feel guilty for ignoring me. In the end, she felt it was easier on her, and in the best interest of maintaining her relationship with you, if she no longer lived here.

"I offered to help her find a new place, and even offered to help pay for it, but she insisted that it was time for her to learn how to be an independent woman. She'd never had to be completely self-sufficient. As you know, she married young. She'd lived with her parents until marrying your father, then she lived with him, and then in my guesthouse. She'd never been financially responsible for all of her living expenses, and she didn't like feeling dependent on others. I think, more than anything, she wanted to feel like she was in full control of her life. Eventually, she would've come to the same decision. Events just unfolded that made it happen sooner than it would have, otherwise."

Shaking her head, Maura stood up straighter. "NOTHING that has happened since the warehouse has been your fault. It was MY choice to ignore your efforts to apologize and explain. It was MY choice to deal with my emotions by withdrawing from everyone involved. It was ANGELA'S choice to not accept assistance, when both of us offered it. It was ANGELA'S choice to move out. It was DEAN'S choice to take advantage of your distance from your family and friends by pursuing a relationship. It was DEAN'S choice to further take advantage of you by twisting your emotional state to his purpose.

"He NEVER loved you or cared about you. You do NOT hurt the people you love intentionally. You do not HIT them, and you DEFINITELY do not rape them. What he did was abuse, not love. I know you know that. No matter what he said. No matter what excuses he used to justify his actions to appease his own conscience, NOTHING he did to you was your fault. They were HIS choices. Somewhere, inside, you know that.

"You know that being a victim of abuse says more about the abuser, than it does the victim. You know that being a victim may CHANGE who you are, but it doesn't DETRACT from who you are. That's something I've heard you tell abuse victims more than once. I've heard you tell them that they're not responsible for others' actions, and they shouldn't feel ashamed for those actions. I've heard you tell them that they should do what they can to overcome what they've been through, and to not be afraid or ashamed to ask for help, because it's more than any one person can deal with alone. Eventually, you'll have the emotional distance to be able to understand that it applies to you, too."

Looking up, Jane swallowed visibly, then nodded. Relaxing, Maura smiled at her, then looked back at Korsak. Seeing him watching them with something like proud awe, she smiled at him, too. "I know it will be some time before you reach that point. I told you before, and I will tell you again, whenever you need to hear it, that you are not alone. You have people who care about you and are willing to help you in any way they are able.

"You are welcome to stay here until you feel ready to return home. I would like for you stay at least until your ribs are no longer restricting your daily activities, but you are welcome to stay beyond that, if you want to. I know it will be some time before our friendship is truly healed, but you taught me that friends are always there for each other. I failed once, and I don't plan to repeat my mistakes."

Getting another nod, Maura reached out and squeezed Jane's hand gently. Realizing the french toast mix was still sitting on the counter, she shook her head and patted Korsak's arm as she walked around him. Picking up the bowl and giving it a couple stirs to mix it, she was just turning on the burner when Korsak snagged the bowl out of her hand.

Turning to look at him in shock, she was met with a raised eyebrow. Using his free hand to gesture up and down her body, Korsak set the bowl down. "Don't take this the wrong way, Doc, but you don't look as...together...as you usually do. I can make french toast while you change. I'll fill you both in on today's plan, after that."

Following his hand gesture, Maura blushed, realizing she was still in the mismatched, patterned scrubs the hospital had given her. Handing over the spatula and stepping back from the stove, she looked over at Jane, relieved that she didn't seem worried at the idea of being alone with Korsak. Still blushing, she smiled at them both. "I hadn't even realized I never showered and changed, after getting home. Thank you for pointing that out. I hate to think how I must look, or smell. I think I already got everything out. If not, then nothing's been relocated, so Jane will probably be able to help you find anything you need. I'll be quick."

* * *

An hour later, they were still picking at their mostly uneaten food. They'd agreed that it was unlikely Dean would try anything in daylight, in an upscale neighborhood where people would make note of any strange people or cars, so they decided it made more sense for Korsak to stay inside. A man sitting in a car all day would definitely draw attention, and they didn't need dispatch getting several false alarms, and being slow to react to a real threat, since Korsak was there unofficially.

While Korsak found something to watch on TV, Maura got her laptop and a few files from her office. Spreading everything out on her dinner table, she started sifting through papers and typing. After several minutes of silence, she looked up when Jane spoke quietly. "Where's Bass? Is someone taking care of my tortoise?"

Looking around, before shaking her head when she realized it was a pointless move, Maura looked at Korsak, getting a shrug. "Bass is in my office. The air conditioning makes him lethargic, so I have a heat lamp set up for him, in there. He likes to stay near it, in the summer, so I've been feeding him in there. I had honestly forgotten about your tortoise. As far as I know, he's still in your apartment. I'll have Barry bring him, later. While it's not ideal, a couple days without food isn't fatal, as long as he had water for much of that time." Furrowing her brow in confusion and tilting her head, Maura blinked a few times, then shook her head. "I was so focused on your well-being, that I neglected to think of your pets. What about Jo? I don't remember seeing her, but I was...distracted. I hope she'll be ok until Barry can get her."

Shaking her head and closing her eyes, Jane looked at her lap while she fidgeted. "I haven't had Jo in almost two years. Gabriel...Dean...he...is allergic to dogs, and I couldn't keep her. Korsak said he found her a good home, though. It's just the little tortoise you gave me. I never told him you gave it to me. I was afraid he'd make me get rid of it."

Moving to sit on the couch next to Jane, Maura sighed. "I'm sorry you had to get rid of Jo, I know how much you loved her. I'm glad you still have the tortoise, though. I'll make sure Barry gets him on his way over."

Clearing his throat quietly, Korsak leaned forward in his chair, rubbing the back of his neck. "I, uh, never found Jo a new home. I tried, but I wasn't able to find anyone I trusted enough, so I kept her. My neighbor's son takes care of my pets when I'm at work. If you want, I'm sure Jo would love to be back home. She was depressed for months, and I know she misses you. I can let the neighbor kid know, and Frost can pick her up, too. That is, if the Doc doesn't mind. There's nothing quite like a dog to help you feel better."

Looking up sharply and studying his face, Jane nodded before looking at Maura. "Yes. I mean, if Maura doesn't mind. Why didn't you tell me you still had Jo?"

Korsak just shrugged. "You told me to find a good home for her, but that you didn't want to know where she was, so I did. I guess I kinda hoped you'd be able to have her back, someday. And, if not, then I wanted to make sure she had the best home possible. Like I said, I never found someone I trusted with her, and she's a sweet, little dog. Gets along great with the other dogs, and even likes the cats."

Getting a nod from both women, he stood and walked into the kitchen, for a little bit of privacy. They listened as he talked to someone and told them to have Seth make sure Jo's stuff was gathered up, and to expect someone to pick her up, later. When he hung up, he smiled at them. "Seth's still in school, but he'll have everything ready for Frost to pick up her. He's a good kid. He'll make sure she has her leash and blanket and favorite toys, all packed up." Checking the time, he shook his head. "Frost should still be asleep. I'll call in a few hours and explain everything. You'll have Jo back by dinner time."

Seeing Jane looking more relaxed and less stressed than she had for longer than Maura cared to contemplate, she smiled at Korsak gratefully and stood. Going back to her laptop, she smiled when Jane eventually started asking about how Jo had been, and Korsak started sharing stories. None of them were completely relaxed, but for a few hours, everything seemed just a little less bleak.

* * *

**A/N: There are a couple things I think I've mentioned before, but just want to make sure are understood. This story is NOT headed toward getting Jane and Maura together. It will be focusing mainly on Jane's healing process, but will also try to at least touch on how Maura, Korsak, Frost, and Jane's family handle everything that happened. Domestic violence doesn't only effect the victim, it also touches everyone close to them.**

**I've had numerous messages/reviews commenting on the fact that it's JANE that's the victim. Some say that it helps show that even the strongest women can become victims. Some think she's too strong to ever be in that situation. Both have merit. I have a few, lengthy, reasons for that decision. If anyone is interested, just let me know in a message/review, and I'll share them with you. The explanation is pretty lengthy, so I don't want to drop it in an A/N.**

**A/N2: I want this story to be a way to bring attention a topic that is usually glossed over as 'too sensitive,' 'too painful,' or 'too shameful' to be talked about. Too often, victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault are made to feel guilty or alienated because of what they've been forced to endure. Escaping domestic violence is NOT as simple as the victim leaving. There is a deeply psychological component that extends far beyond the physical abuse.**

**Explaining the signs of domestic violence would take pages and pages, and would still not touch on everything. If you want more information, then here are some sites you can visit (remember to remove the spaces once you copy/paste):**

**National Domestic Violence Hotline Web Site: ** www . thehotline ** Domestic Violence Services: ** www . domesticviolenceservices ** Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network: ** www . rainn ** National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: ** www . loveisrespect

**For victims and survivors who needs someone to talk to, here are some hotlines (if someone wants to send me info on hotlines outside of the US, feel free, and I'll include them in the future):**

**Rape and Sexual Assault: **1-800-656-4673** Domestic Violence Hopeline: **1-800-621-HOPE (4673)** National Domestic Violence Hotline: **1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY 1-800-787-3224** Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **1-866-331-9474 TTY 1-866-331-8453

**International Numbers for Domestic Violence Information and Services: Australia - **1800 811 811** USA - **1800 799 7233** UK - **0808 2000 247** Canada - **1800 363 9010** NZ - **0508 744 633

**France - **3919

**Isreal - **1 800 220 00


	14. Chapter 14

About an hour before Frost was due to arrive, Korsak's phone rang. He started swearing almost immediately, and got up to walk down the hall. For several minutes, all they heard was mumbled responses punctuated by the occasional curse. When he came back down the hall, he was running a hand over his face and looked tired. Slumping back into his chair, he shook his head.

For a couple moments, they just watched him. Then, he sighed and looked up and met Jane's gaze. "That was Frost. He stopped by your place, and it was trashed. The door looks like it was kicked in, and the inside is a mess. He talked to a couple of your neighbors, mostly to find out why no one reported it. A few of them saw Dean bust down the door, but since he lives there, they didn't question it. They heard him trashing the place, but they said that...loud noises were so...common...that they didn't think anything of it. They said that they know you're a cop, so they didn't think they needed to call the cops. He was gone by the time Frost got there, but no one remembers seeing him leave."

Seeing Jane close her eyes, Maura sighed. "So, we don't know where he is. How could he manage to break down a door, in the condition he was in? Never mind, that's not important. Is Barry staying there until uniforms secure the scene? This is going to make it difficult to keep everything quiet. It might be for the best, if it means you'll be able to have more people looking for him. You and Barry can take shorter shifts, and you can keep a uniform stationed on the street."

Korsak shook his head. "Since he lives there, there's not much we can do. It's up to the building manager to sue for property damage, but there's nothing really to charge him with. It's not illegal to break into your own house and break things. If he's not on the lease, then the building will make Jane pay for the damages." Taking a deep breath, he looked at Jane. "The safe I found in your closet. Your gun is in there, right? I need to know he doesn't have access to your gun."

Jane nodded, then shook her head. When they stared at her in concern and confusion, she finally opened her eyes and sighed. "It's in there. It's always in the safe, if I'm not at work."

Sighing in relief, Korsak leaned back and ran his hand over his face. "Thank god. Ok, Frost is doing what he can to make sure your door stayed closed. The tortoise is ok, so he's still bringing it and Jo, here. I'll pick up some stuff and padlock your door on my way home. That'll hold it until it can be fixed. We'll help you get it cleaned up, and replace anything you need, when you feel up to it. If you pressed charges, then we could have uniforms out looking for him, watching your place, and sitting out front, here. You know how much our hands are tied, unless you press charges."

When Jane just ignored him, and started staring at the blank TV, he sighed. Maura fidgeted for a moment, before standing suddenly and striding into the kitchen. "I'll start cooking dinner. Vince, you're welcome to stay and eat. I should be able to find dishes suitable for Jo's food and water, but I don't have any dog food. Hopefully, Barry will be bringing some. I have more than enough fresh fruit and greens for the tortoise. I'm sure Bass won't mind sharing his food. Jane's tortoise is small, and won't eat much. I'm sure Bass won't even notice a few greens and a couple strawberries missing. Vince, I can make a call in the morning, and have Jane's door repaired, by the end of the day, if you or Barry can be there to meet the locksmith. I could call a cleaning service, but Jane would probably prefer if strangers didn't decide what is to be discarded."

Korsak's hand covering the hand holding knife she was using to slice a seemingly random collection of fruits and vegetables, made her stop and take a shaky breath. Nodding and putting the knife down, Maura closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, then opened them and looked toward Jane, who was still staring at the blank television. Meeting Korsak's understanding gaze, she spoke quietly. "It's not fair. How much can she be expected to handle, before it's too much? We need to figure out some way to keep him away from her."

Nodding, Korsak kept his gaze fixed on Jane, when he responded. "You worry about taking care of her, here. Frost and I will worry about keeping her safe. One way or another, I'll make sure he can't get to her." When Maura looked at him sharply, he shrugged. "I'm not a young man. An early retirement wouldn't be the end of the world."

Studying his face, Maura nodded in understanding. Looking down at the cutting board, she furrowed her brow in irritation, then shook her head. Nodding her head toward Jane, she spoke louder than before. "How does fruit salad and casserole sound, for dinner?"

Not getting an answer from Jane, she sighed and finished chopping the food in front of her. Separating out the fruit into a bowl, she covered it and stuck it in the fridge, before getting out more ingredients and a casserole dish. She worked in silence, looking up every few seconds to check on Jane. The tentative peace they'd been enjoying all day, was gone, replaced by an uncomfortable tension.

* * *

An hour and a half later, there was a knock at the door. Korsak waved Maura back, drew his gun, and approached the door quietly. When he looked through the peephole and reholstered his gun, Maura relaxed. Walking up beside him, she quickly disabled the alarm and stood back while he opened the door. Before it was completely open, there was an excited bark and Jo was pulling at her leash and trying to get in.

Letting Frost in, Korsak bent down to unclip Jo's leash, as soon as the door was closed. Scratching her ears and rubbing her belly, for a moment, he stood as the overexcited dog ran to Maura for the same treatment. Frost was the only one facing the living room, and he gently tapped Maura's leg with his foot to get her attention. Seeing his tiny nod behind her, she turned to see Jane standing on the far side of the room and watching them. Moving to the side, Maura gave Jo one last scratch behind the ears, then pointed at Jane.

They watched as Jo ran across the room, sniffed at Jane, then started sniffing everything in the room. After making her rounds around the couch and kitchen island, she ran back to Jane. Yipping and staring up at Jane, her entire back end wagged in excitement. When Jane knelt slowly, and in obvious pain, Maura put a hand on Korsak's arm to keep him from moving. They watched as Jane carefully scratched Jo's ears, then picked her up and used the wall to help herself back to her feet. Burying her face in Jo's fur, she turned and walked down the hallway.

Waiting until she turned to enter the guest room, Maura took her hand off Korsak's arm. Turning to face them, she wiped away a couple tears and smiled slightly. "Thank you, both. I think having Jo back is the best thing that could happen, right now. There are numerous studies that show the therapeutic advantages of having a pet during times of emotional difficulty. More than anything, though, I think Jane will benefit from the simple and unconditional affection of a being she knows is incapable of judging or hurting her."

Nodding and wiping his own eyes, Korsak looked back down the hallway. "If I'd thought of it, I would've brought Jo with me, this morning. I don't know how many bad days my animals have helped me through. That's the first time I've seen Jane do something without being prompted, all day. That has to be a good sign."

Sighing and shaking her head, Maura shrugged. "I'm afraid I just don't have the knowledge or experience to know how she should be acting, or what I should be doing to help. My knowledge of psychology comes from a few classes as an undergraduate, and reading the occasional case study that caught my interest. I tried to research, this morning, but it's just not my field of expertise. I sent a couple emails to acquaintances I've made over the years, asking them if they know of any case studies that focus on domestic violence victims in the armed forces or law enforcement. I also asked for advice on what I can do to help, and things I should avoid. I don't know if I should point out some of the conditioned behaviors and responses I've noticed, or not."

When both men looked at her in confusion, she sighed. "I'm not sure if you noticed, but the doorknobs on her bedroom and bathroom were removed. Since being here, she hasn't completely shut any door, even when using the bathroom or showering. The door is always left partially open. She's also hesitant to eat. She waits until everyone else is mostly finished, before starting her own meal, then eats quickly, like she's afraid it will suddenly be taken away. She was shocked when I got her seconds, yesterday, even though I had told her she could have more if she was still hungry. Those are only the most worrisome things I've noticed, that can't be explained by the physical and emotional trauma of the past few days."

Looking down the hall, Frost sighed heavily and shook his head. "I noticed the doorknobs, today, but I didn't think anything of it. The place is trashed. All the pictures are broken, there's broken dishes and food thrown all over the kitchen, there are holes in the walls, and it looks like he took a knife to the couch and mattress. I really don't know if there's anything worth saving. I managed to get the chain hooked from outside, but that's all I could find to try to hold the door shut, not that there's anything worth stealing. I've seen crackhouses in better shape.

"I still can't believe no one bothered to report it. Several people on her floor saw him break down the door. Everyone I talked to has heard yelling and loud noises, more than once. Most of them said they just didn't think it was their business, and they didn't want to get involved. Several of them told me that they didn't see any reason to report it, since Jane's a cop. Almost all of them insisted that a man with only one good arm couldn't possibly be dangerous. I just don't get how people can be that apathetic."

Shaking his head, Korsak ran a hand over his face as he sighed. "Unfortunately, it happens all too often. I don't know how many cases I've seen where people just 'didn't think they should get involved.' People are too worried about seeming nosey, or disrupting their schedules, or getting hurt, to do anything to protect someone else. Everyone figures it's someone else's job to do something, and then no one does anything."

Hearing a ding from the kitchen, Maura jumped and checked her watch. "The casserole should be done. Why don't you get the tortoise and Jo's things? You're both welcome to eat with us. I still feel it's best for Jane to be around non-threatening male company. She relies on you both to protect her, at work, so she needs to be able to trust that you won't hurt her, now."

Getting answering nods, Maura walked into the kitchen. A few minutes later, there was a knock, followed immediately by her phone ringing. Answering it, she relaxed when it was just Korsak letting her know it was them at the door, and she quickly let them back in. Finding a place for the tortoise and Jo's things, Maura left the men in the living room and walked down the hallway. Not hearing anything from the guest room, she knocked on the door quietly, before pushing it open wider. Jo looked up from where she was curled under Jane's arm. Walking closer to the bed, Maura sighed and scratched Jo's head before closing the door behind her as she left the room.

Making her way back to the kitchen, she put a large serving of casserole on a plate, covered it, and put it in the still-warm oven. Dishing out plates for the rest of them, she handed them off and got drinks for them before joining the men at the table. Sitting down, she finally acknowledged their questioning looks. "Jane's asleep, and Jo seems content to stay with her. It looks like she cried herself to sleep. It's the first time she's cried since the hospital. Hopefully, that means that having Jo here is helping her face and express her emotions. She needs the emotional release and natural sleep more than she needs to eat, right now. She can eat when she wakes up."

They talked quietly while they ate. It was decided that Maura would have a locksmith fix the door, and call a cleaning service to take care of the worst of the mess. When Frost described, in more detail, the destruction Dean had caused, they all agreed that Jane shouldn't have to deal with all of it. The cleaning service would get rid of anything clearly beyond repair, and the rest would be sorted for Jane to go through when she was ready. Maura decided that no matter what condition it was in, the bed was being disposed of.

When they were done eating, Frost did another walkthrough with Maura while she checked that all the windows and doors were still locked. Disarming the alarm long enough to let them out, she locked the door behind them and reset the alarm, then sent Frost a text to tell him everything was secure. Getting her laptop back out, she resumed her search for anything she thought might help her help Jane.

* * *

After there was no sign of Jane waking up, after an hour, Maura took her plate out of the oven. Letting if cool for several minutes, she put it in the fridge. Realizing Jane's next dose of pain meds were due soon, and figuring the renewed pain would wake her, Maura quickly gathered up things and put her notes and laptop back in her office.

Needing something to do, she settled on cleaning the tortoise tank. Cleaning the bedding turned into scrubbing the tank and dishes and changing the bedding. By the time she was done, Jane came walking down the hallway, carrying Jo. Getting the little tortoise situated, Maura washed her hands then got out Jane's dinner plate and put it in the microwave to reheat.

Once Jane was sitting on the couch with her food, Maura brought her a glass of juice and her meds. In an effort not to make Jane uncomfortable, Maura fed the animals while Jane started eating. Eventually, there was nothing to do but join her on the couch.

Turning on the TV, she set the volume low and left it on a sports channel, knowing neither of them would be paying much attention to it. They sat in strained silence until Maura started to fidget, and she found something to talk about. "I need to change your bandages, and you probably want to shower. We should do that while the pain meds are still strongly masking the pain. I'll get another nightgown, if you want me to wash your hair, again."

Getting a silent nod, Maura stood and held out a hand to help Jane up, which was ignored. Sighing, she watched her start toward the hallway. "I'll just get the nightgown and things to wrap your bandages, then I'll help you unwrap your ribs."

Jane didn't acknowledge her, and she busied herself getting together the supplies needed. A few minutes later, she was knocking on the partially closed bathroom door. Jane opened it, wearing a towel around her top, and silently let Maura enter. Holding up the plastic wrap, she took the wrist Jane offered in response, and quickly wrapped it. When the second was done, she waited while Jane turned her back and held her arms out slightly. Carefully unwrapping her ribs, Maura rolled up the wrap and set it on the sink, before leaving and closing the door behind her.

Having exhausted her meaningless tasks, Maura leaned against the wall outside the bathroom and waited. Deciding to check in, she walked a little way down the hall and called Frost. After quickly assuring him that they were fine, she chewed her lip in thought for a moment, before deciding to tell him that she'd be washing Jane's hair, and it may take slightly longer than usual to answer her phone. Hanging up, she went back to leaning against the wall across from the bathroom.

A few minutes after the water turned off, Jane called her name. Opening the bathroom door, she found Jane in the same position as the night before, sitting in the bathtub wearing a too-short nightgown and a towel over her lap. This time, she looked a little less uncomfortable, having the inflatable cushion Frost bought, to sit on. Setting her phone on the counter by the sink, she knelt and started washing Jane's hair.

While she was smoothing the conditioner through Jane's hair, her phone rang. Quickly rinsing and drying her hands, and she leaned over and grabbed the vibrating phone. When she saw an unfamiliar number, her brow furrowed in confusion. As soon as she answered it, her posture stiffened and she leaned over to shut off the shower. Jane tensed and turned to watch her, so she held a finger to her lips. Speaking quietly, she moved to make sure the bathroom door was closed, and locked it, before turning off the light and moving to sit on the edge of the tub. "No, I don't believe this is a false alarm. Please notify authorities. Thank you."

Hanging up and catching Jane's frightened gaze in the dim light from her phone, Maura took a careful breath before dialing a number. When the other end up picked up quickly, she closed her eyes in relief and let out the breath. "Barry, my alarm company just called. The alarm's been set off. Their call should already be reaching dispatch. Jane and I are in the guest bathroom. The door is shut and locked, and I turned off the light. I can stay on the line, but I would feel safer if we stay as silent as possible."

Clutching the phone tightly, she looked at Jane and whispered as quietly as possible. "Barry already radioed dispatch, and they called for all nearby units to respond as backup. We just need to wait here, until he clears the rest of the house."

Several seconds of tense silence later, the doorknob jiggled. Motioning Jane to stay as low as possible, Maura stood. When the door burst open, she forced herself not to flinch at the sudden brightness. For a second, all she saw was a dark silhouette, then her eyes adjusted and she saw Gabriel Dean standing in the doorway, holding a gun, and smirking coldly. Leaning to see around her, he laughed darkly when he saw Jane sitting in the bathtub. "Oh, look, Janie can't even hide properly. Did you really think I wouldn't find you? Did I interrupt something? Figures you're a dyke. I should've known, you lying whore."

Pointing the gun at Maura, he motioned at her phone. "Now, you just pop the battery out of that phone and kick it toward me."

Moving slowly, Maura took the battery out of her phone, dropped the pieces to the floor, and kicked them toward the door. Not bothering to even look down, he took a step into the room. "I almost wish you'd refused, then I could've put a bullet in your pretty, little skull. You see, Janie told me all about how you used your foot to press the radio button, when you were being held hostage. But, you see, the FBI trains agents better than the police academy. Before your father ruined my life, I was one of the best. It only took a few seconds to cut your phone lines, before I pried a window open. People always assume the lock is the weak part, but it's the frame. It's really easier than you'd think."

Taking another step, he gestured with the gun until Maura stepped into the small space between the toilet and bathtub. "Your father may have ruined my life, but I'm not going to let you finish the job. I know Jane didn't press charges, because she knows where she belongs. She knows I'm the only one who could ever love her. You don't love her. Her family doesn't love her. Her partners don't care about her. I'm the only one who cares. I'm the only one who loves her. You tried to get in the way of that, but you failed. She knows where she belongs. You'll pay, though. Jane is mine, and you tried to take her away. Once you're gone, there will be nothing keeping me from what's mine."

Maura held his gaze, refusing to look away, as he raised the gun, stepping closer and closer. Just as his aim drew even with the center of her forehead, a loud gunshot echoed in the small space.

Hearing Jane's strangled cry, Maura opened her eyes to see Dean's lifeless body slumped over the bathtub and lying half on top of Jane. Moving quickly, she managed to yank his body backwards until it hit the floor. Ignoring the blood splattered across the walls and pooled on the floor and tub, she climbed into the bathtub and pulled Jane into her arms. When Jane whimpered in pain, she pulled back, and finally noticed Frost standing in the doorway, gun lowered at his side.

No longer fighting the tears, Maura slumped against the back of the tub and clasped Jane's hand tightly in hers. Watching them, Frost pulled his phone out of his pocket and called dispatch to ask for an ME and cancel the need for back up. Trying to step around the worst of the blood, he made his way to the bathtub and held out a hand. "We should get you both out of there. Unfortunately, you can't clean up, yet. Once the crime scene unit gets here, you can change, and probably shower in the master bathroom."

Looking down at herself and finally to notice the blood splatter covering them both, and the pool of blood they were sitting in, Maura nodded and took his hand. Standing, she waited until Jane looked up at her, then leaned down to help her stand. With Frost's help, they both managed to climb out of the bathtub without slipping.

When they were standing in the middle of the bathroom, Maura realized how much blood covered them and stopped. "I don't want his blood all over my house. I don't want him touching anything else. Could you get us blankets to wrap around us? The linen closet is down the hall. Just grab the ones on top. I don't know what to do about our feet, though. I only have one pair of slippers. Jane can wear my slippers, they should fit, well enough. They're tucked under the edge of my bed. Could you grab a pair of shoes out of my closet? I don't care which ones, just bring the first pair you see."

As soon as he nodded and left the room, leaving his shoes just inside the doorway, Maura released a shaky breath and turned to find Jane staring at Dean's body. Stepping in front of her, Maura reached out to squeeze her hand. "It's over. He can't hurt you, again. You're safe." When Jane's gaze didn't shift, even when her view was blocked, Maura squeezed her hand again and kept her hold on it.

Frost came back a couple minutes later. Setting the blankets down in the hall, he set the Maura's shoes down just inside the doorway. She led Jane closer to the door and carefully stepped into them, then waited until Jane followed suit with the slippers he set down. Unfolding a blanket, he held it out. Maura took it and wrapped it around Jane's shoulders, making sure she had a good grip on it, before wrapping herself in her own blanket.

Walking down the hall, she stopped and looked at the available furniture. Finally deciding, she pulled out a dining chair for Jane, before sitting down in the one next to it. Frost followed and sat down across from them. They waited in silence.

* * *

**A/N: For a reason I can't quite figure out, this last scene was harder to write than chapter eight. Not as draining or traumatizing, but harder to make myself actually write. Maybe I just really hate writing death scenes. I'm really not sure.**

**Anyway, I'm guessing this scene was way overdue, for most of you. I know there are several people who have been rooting for Dean's death since he showed up at Jane's door. Just remember, this is NOT a fluff fic. Just because Dean's dead, doesn't mean everything is suddenly better. Also worth pointing out, yet again, this is NOT a romance fic, so comments telling me that Jane and Maura can get together, now, are pointless.**

**A/N2: I want this story to be a way to bring attention a topic that is usually glossed over as 'too sensitive,' 'too painful,' or 'too shameful' to be talked about. Too often, victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault are made to feel guilty or alienated because of what they've been forced to endure. Escaping domestic violence is NOT as simple as the victim leaving. There is a deeply psychological component that extends far beyond the physical abuse.**

**Explaining the signs of domestic violence would take pages and pages, and would still not touch on everything. If you want more information, then here are some sites you can visit (remember to remove the spaces once you copy/paste):**

**National Domestic Violence Hotline Web Site: ** www . thehotline ** Domestic Violence Services: ** www . domesticviolenceservices ** Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network: ** www . rainn ** National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: ** www . loveisrespect

**For victims and survivors who needs someone to talk to, here are some hotlines (if someone wants to send me info on hotlines outside of the US, feel free, and I'll include them in the future):**

**Rape and Sexual Assault: **1-800-656-4673** Domestic Violence Hopeline: **1-800-621-HOPE (4673)** National Domestic Violence Hotline: **1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY 1-800-787-3224** Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: **1-866-331-9474 TTY 1-866-331-8453

**International Numbers for Domestic Violence Information and Services: Australia - **1800 811 811** USA - **1800 799 7233** UK - **0808 2000 247** Canada - **1800 363 9010** NZ - **0508 744 633

**France - **3919

**Isreal - **1 800 220 00


End file.
